Friday 7th July 2006
Slipped again
Blogging can be useful if only for getting the mess of thoughts out of my head so I can see them clearly for the mess that they are.
After reading what I wrote yesterday I can see how I’ve been caught up in the “I’m so busy, I don’t have time to practice and reflect” merry-go-round.
By ‘practice’ I don’t mean my Ashtanga Vinyasa yoga practice, but rather my REAL spiritual practice, the one that encompasses the totality of my very existence – physical, energetic, mental, emotional and spiritual, the practice that keeps me on my toes 24 hours a day, where I watch how I think, how I feel, what I say and what I do, trying to maintain the mindstate of higher consciousness so that my being in the world adds a sparkle not a cloud.
Yesterday’s rave about going nowhere was just way off the mark. I have to keep reminding myself that spiritual practice has absolutely NOTHING to do with going anywhere, getting better or going deeper, but has EVERYTHING to do with letting go of all judgements, expectations and hopes, and fully experiencing the purity of this present moment, because that’s all there is, and that’s where we find God – in the wilderness of now untainted by the mind - that’s the secret.
Sometimes, in my busyness, I forget that.
All very deep.
My friend is doing his first Vipassana retreat this week…I’m a little envious. I can sense what he’s going through right now on Day 3 and its bringing back fond memories of past retreats, the long, long days of meditation, the sustained silence that begins gathering momentum after the initial resistance subsides, the heavy peace that descends like soft, warm rain. But it occurred to me this morning that I shouldn’t be envious, I shouldn’t be longing for the next retreat to plumb the depths of inner silence. It’s with me all the time.
Sometimes, in my busyness, I forget that too.
Don’t look for peace, let it emanate from you.
Don’t ask for love, give it out.
Don’t wait for a miracle, see one in every moment.
All very deep.
Less deep was my Mysore self-practice at the shala this morning – my first for 4 days (after taking the regulation monthly female three days off).
Nothing to write about, except that I did it and I loved it.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Slipped again
Blogging can be useful if only for getting the mess of thoughts out of my head so I can see them clearly for the mess that they are.
After reading what I wrote yesterday I can see how I’ve been caught up in the “I’m so busy, I don’t have time to practice and reflect” merry-go-round.
By ‘practice’ I don’t mean my Ashtanga Vinyasa yoga practice, but rather my REAL spiritual practice, the one that encompasses the totality of my very existence – physical, energetic, mental, emotional and spiritual, the practice that keeps me on my toes 24 hours a day, where I watch how I think, how I feel, what I say and what I do, trying to maintain the mindstate of higher consciousness so that my being in the world adds a sparkle not a cloud.
Yesterday’s rave about going nowhere was just way off the mark. I have to keep reminding myself that spiritual practice has absolutely NOTHING to do with going anywhere, getting better or going deeper, but has EVERYTHING to do with letting go of all judgements, expectations and hopes, and fully experiencing the purity of this present moment, because that’s all there is, and that’s where we find God – in the wilderness of now untainted by the mind - that’s the secret.
Sometimes, in my busyness, I forget that.
All very deep.
My friend is doing his first Vipassana retreat this week…I’m a little envious. I can sense what he’s going through right now on Day 3 and its bringing back fond memories of past retreats, the long, long days of meditation, the sustained silence that begins gathering momentum after the initial resistance subsides, the heavy peace that descends like soft, warm rain. But it occurred to me this morning that I shouldn’t be envious, I shouldn’t be longing for the next retreat to plumb the depths of inner silence. It’s with me all the time.
Sometimes, in my busyness, I forget that too.
Don’t look for peace, let it emanate from you.
Don’t ask for love, give it out.
Don’t wait for a miracle, see one in every moment.
All very deep.
Less deep was my Mysore self-practice at the shala this morning – my first for 4 days (after taking the regulation monthly female three days off).
Nothing to write about, except that I did it and I loved it.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Thursday 6th July 2006
Metaphorically speaking
“Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast – you also miss the sense of where you are going and why” - Eddie Cantor.
Where are we going and why? What are we doing right now to get there?
If you’re asking these questions over and over, rest assured you’re going in the right direction, even if you don’t know where you are right now.
I seem to have been going nowhere for maybe a year or so. The changes that swept through me in that accelerated period of intense spiritual advancement a few years ago were absorbed into my psyche and then the big wave subsided.
Now the sea is calm and I’ve been left to tread water, to attend to daily life. This treading water is a necessary part of the ebb and flow of the spiritual journey, I know. Ecstasy and revelation are mind-blowers – the internal ecosystem needed to cool down and adjust.
But I think I might be expending too much energy treading water. My everyday life is jam-packed full of activity and commitments that I’ve been gradually stacking up, one on top of another. Mundane life is swallowing me up.
I’m so busy treading water that I’ve forgotten how magnificent and beautiful is the ocean in which I am immersed.
I watched Step Into Liquid last night having not been out surfing for an entire month. Maybe you can tell from all the watery metaphors. I think my soul is thirsty.
And I miss being immersed in divine love. How arid this daily landscape is when you’re just floating around on the surface.
I need to find that portal again, the one that can take me from this two dimensional life into the mystical realm of the Eternal. It’s somewhere in the heart. Abandon the surfboard, take a deep breath and dive into the liquid...
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Metaphorically speaking
“Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast – you also miss the sense of where you are going and why” - Eddie Cantor.
Where are we going and why? What are we doing right now to get there?
If you’re asking these questions over and over, rest assured you’re going in the right direction, even if you don’t know where you are right now.
I seem to have been going nowhere for maybe a year or so. The changes that swept through me in that accelerated period of intense spiritual advancement a few years ago were absorbed into my psyche and then the big wave subsided.
Now the sea is calm and I’ve been left to tread water, to attend to daily life. This treading water is a necessary part of the ebb and flow of the spiritual journey, I know. Ecstasy and revelation are mind-blowers – the internal ecosystem needed to cool down and adjust.
But I think I might be expending too much energy treading water. My everyday life is jam-packed full of activity and commitments that I’ve been gradually stacking up, one on top of another. Mundane life is swallowing me up.
I’m so busy treading water that I’ve forgotten how magnificent and beautiful is the ocean in which I am immersed.
I watched Step Into Liquid last night having not been out surfing for an entire month. Maybe you can tell from all the watery metaphors. I think my soul is thirsty.
And I miss being immersed in divine love. How arid this daily landscape is when you’re just floating around on the surface.
I need to find that portal again, the one that can take me from this two dimensional life into the mystical realm of the Eternal. It’s somewhere in the heart. Abandon the surfboard, take a deep breath and dive into the liquid...
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Horsenell Gully, a walking trail not far from home that I escape to regularly.
