Friday 29th June 2007
Redirection
This will be my last post on this blog.
I’m moving house soon, so it seems like a good time to spring clean a few other things, blog included. A nicer looking blog page (with comments at last) is up and ready to go now so if anyone out there wants the new weblog address, send me a quick email to nobodhishome@yahoo.com.au. (To keep it simple, just put “new weblog address” as the subject heading).
See you in the spring.
__________________________________________________________________________________________
Redirection
This will be my last post on this blog.
I’m moving house soon, so it seems like a good time to spring clean a few other things, blog included. A nicer looking blog page (with comments at last) is up and ready to go now so if anyone out there wants the new weblog address, send me a quick email to nobodhishome@yahoo.com.au. (To keep it simple, just put “new weblog address” as the subject heading).
See you in the spring.
__________________________________________________________________________________________
Tuesday 26th June 2007
On the days when I do a morning Ashtanga practice, I have a different kind of day: my body blossoms, my mind is sharper and more focussed at work, I get twice as much done and my outlook is positive and confident.
When I don’t practice I feel like crap: the image in the mirror is unkind, my age shows, my head is bogged down with things to be sorted out and things I should do, my self-esteem is low and my state of mind starts sliding downhill into the mud.
Makes you wonder if yoga’s a drug? It’s definitely an anti-depressant.
I guess I’m hooked because I don’t feel good without it, and I have to accept that’s how it is – take it or leave it. It’s my escape from mediochrity.
But being dependent on it (or anything) sure makes me feel uneasy.
This morning I did a full and thorough solo practice by the heater at the end of my bed because it’s been too cold to practice in Renate’s studio on these icy pre-dawn mornings.
It was rather a nice change to practice on my own, carefully nudging my body out into new territory again without any expectation, desire or stress. In the privacy of my own space I even felt comfortable enough to start tackling the lift-up-and-jump-back move, albeit a rather poor imitation of the real thing, but it is a start, and who knows, my body just might catch on to the idea that it’s possible and run with it.
Half the battle is actually believing I can do it. Our minds can be weak or strong leaders; the body might try reluctantly to follow a weak leader, but it confidently follows a strong leader. I remember struggling for years to do that roll up to the balancing point of Urdhva Paschimottanasana and it wasn’t until I discovered that if I visualise it strongly in the split second before I rolled up, it would just happen, like magic.
All it took was a small shift in my belief system. Perfectly executed jumpbacks are next.
__________________________________________________________________________________________
On the days when I do a morning Ashtanga practice, I have a different kind of day: my body blossoms, my mind is sharper and more focussed at work, I get twice as much done and my outlook is positive and confident.
When I don’t practice I feel like crap: the image in the mirror is unkind, my age shows, my head is bogged down with things to be sorted out and things I should do, my self-esteem is low and my state of mind starts sliding downhill into the mud.
Makes you wonder if yoga’s a drug? It’s definitely an anti-depressant.
I guess I’m hooked because I don’t feel good without it, and I have to accept that’s how it is – take it or leave it. It’s my escape from mediochrity.
But being dependent on it (or anything) sure makes me feel uneasy.
This morning I did a full and thorough solo practice by the heater at the end of my bed because it’s been too cold to practice in Renate’s studio on these icy pre-dawn mornings.
It was rather a nice change to practice on my own, carefully nudging my body out into new territory again without any expectation, desire or stress. In the privacy of my own space I even felt comfortable enough to start tackling the lift-up-and-jump-back move, albeit a rather poor imitation of the real thing, but it is a start, and who knows, my body just might catch on to the idea that it’s possible and run with it.
Half the battle is actually believing I can do it. Our minds can be weak or strong leaders; the body might try reluctantly to follow a weak leader, but it confidently follows a strong leader. I remember struggling for years to do that roll up to the balancing point of Urdhva Paschimottanasana and it wasn’t until I discovered that if I visualise it strongly in the split second before I rolled up, it would just happen, like magic.
All it took was a small shift in my belief system. Perfectly executed jumpbacks are next.
__________________________________________________________________________________________
Saturday 9th June 2007
Yoga stuff
I must not drink espresso before practice
I must not drink espresso before practice
I must not drink espresso before practice
I must not drink espresso before practice
I must not drink espresso before practice
I must not drink espresso before practice
Simi’s Saturday morning class doesn’t start until 8.30am - abnormally late for me to be doing yoga. By 8.30am I've usually finished practice and am sitting happily in a cafe with my beloved post practice espresso, recovering and pondering the meaning of yoga and life.
Although this is the third Saturday morning class I’ve been to, I haven’t been able to go without a caffeine fix first - it's just too late in the morning. So there’s no hiding that I’ve got a caffeine addiction – two strong coffees per day is my absolute limit but I wouldn’t go without them. My entire day is built around those two caffeine fixes.
Needless to say this morning’s practice fuelled by caffeine was shaky, bendy, intense and scatty. A pretty mixed cocktail. Every now and then I noticed my mind was miles away – I’d be in a pose, the five breaths were happening automatically but my head was cut off from my body, it was somewhere else, off in a fantasy world, creating elaborate scenarios then playing in them, completely oblivious to what I was doing in the here and now.
But since I did the entire practice without stopping or cheating, I’m happy with it on the whole.
I shouldn't go for quantity over quality, but these days, just DOING a practice, however it turns out, is reason to celebrate.
Simi spent a little time correcting the finer details of my Chaturanga Dandasana this morning; I need to engage more Uddiyana Bandha, place my hands a little further back towards my waist (or more correctly bring my torso further forward) and pull back the lats more. It’s all stuff I know (and taught) but funny how the bad habits creep in over time and we need reminding to APPLY what we know.
Same thing in Sirsasana…my weak right shoulder naturally wants to slack off in Headstand and I have to constantly nag at it to get it lifting up and back. As soon as my focus shifts to anothe rpart of my body the shoulder drops again. Sneaky little thing it is.
Sirsasana is such a complex pose: finding just the right sweet spot on the head, lifting the shoulders to prevent the cervical spine from compressing, pressing the tail forward and the thighs back, engaging and lengthening the inner legs…so much going on while balancing. The mind really has to attend to all those little details when it’s training the body to be safe in the pose. But there comes a time when the muscular body knows what to do and how to work, and that’s when the experience of this pose becomes more subtle and other dimensional layers begin to reveal themselves.
The feeling tone
I’ve started experimenting a little with the feeling body in my practice. I think of an especially emotive word (like Love, or Essence) and consciously infuse the fullest expression of that word's meaning though every cell of my body. What results is a palpable and uplifting feeling of expansion, a melting, a warmth all over, not unlike the energetic fullness after orgasm where the nervous system is peacefully alive, but it’s created entirely by thought, and by allowing the thought to evoke a feeling and allowing the feeling to infuse and permeate the body fully.
I’m reminded of the experiment done by Dr Masaru Emoto that was featured in the film “What the Bleep Do We Know” where a special kind of photographic image was taken of the water crystals in a bottle of distilled water. Then a word was written and taped to the same bottle of water and left overnight. The resulting image taken of the water crystals had dramatically changed. Various words were tested and the crystals reformed and changed shape each time.
http://www.thank-water.net/english/index.html
It was fascinating to connect the qualities of the shape to the word -I think if you put all the words in one line, then put the water crystal shapes in another line, you'd easily be able to match the word to the corresponding crystal pattern. What a nice game to play.
As it was pointed out in the film, if a thought can change the shape and structure of water crystals, consider what it does to the human body which is made up of on average 61.8% water. I have no doubt that every thought we have impacts on our body at a cellular level, as well as on the environment around us, which includes the people around us. If we truly are all connected then everything and everyone is One Being, we are all parts of The Whole, and what happens in one part of the being reverberates like a ripple throughout the rest of the whole.
Anyone who has done a period of serious meditation will have experienced the effect of a single thought on the chemistry of their body. In the stillness of meditation such effects are magnified, seen and felt very clearly.
So what I’m getting at is that when I consciously conjure up a particular word and allow the energy behind it’s meaning to imbue it’s essence throughout my physical being, the effect can be felt all over so it must be impacting and transforming on a cellular level.
I don't know where this will go, if anywhere, but it's little insights like these that gradually change the culture in the petri dish, ever so slightly. Today I am different to yesterday and tomorrow I'll be different again. Changing, changing, changing...anicca, anicca, anicca...
My life often feels like a quantum science experiment.
Going solo
Until now, I hadn’t realised that I’ve never lived alone. What a small revelation.
This surprising fact has only just emerged because in 6 weeks I’ll be moving into a new place – on my own – for the first time.
My habitation history from birth til now goes like this:
Birth to 15 years old: home
From 15 – 21: in and out of share houses with friends and sisters, and back home in between houses
At 21: married and raised 2 children in a family home
At 34: walked away from abusive husband with the 2 children but no possessions. He kept everything and I had to start from scratch with nothing, while raising two teenagers.
At 41: my daughter moved out and my son and I continued to live together until the beginning of 2006 when his urgent need for independence from Mum and his lack of money (no job, no income) meant that I, at age 45, sacrificed my own needs (as Mums do) and moved out. I lived with my Mum for all of last year until she finally sold the family house, then I came to stay with my friend Renate in February for 6 months while her husband was overseas.
Times almost up.
I hadn’t thought too much about what would happen when I the time came to move out of Renates. I knew the universe would provide and I now trust that process implicitly.
As expected, the Universe provided.
A chance conversation out of nowhere revealed an opportunity to take over Fleur’s dilapidated residence in an old mansion for one year from the end of July. Now this is almost impeccable timing by the Universe, and almost unbelievable when pondering how beautifully the circumstances were orchestrated for it to come about. The arrangement suits both our needs absolutely perfectly – like two jigsaw pieces that the Universe found and fitted together.
The mansion is amazing – it’s divided into four residences, rent is cheap as chips because it’s run down and barely habitable. But my part has two enormous rooms off a huge entrance hall (one room I think was the mansion’s ballroom) with open fires in both rooms, there’s a pokey kitchen and a pokier, grotty, little bathroom, minimal furniture and enormous ceilings that are so high you can barely see them. The place is impossible to heat, but will be great in summer, and it must be the best possible yoga space you could imagine.
But…I’ll be living alone – wow. What will that be like, and will I really love it as much as I think I will - being such a social recluse already it may just bring about my total disappearance from civilisation.
My life is feeling even more like a quantum science experiment.
Bush Flower Remedy
I finished the Boab Essence and Angie recommended Angelsword essence next.
It’s a confusing name – do you pronounce it Angel’s Word or Angel Sword???
I’m not sure of why she prescribed that one, but I’ve been taking it for a few days now.
Is it affecting me in any way? Don’t know that either.
What I just realised is that in this weblink to Angelsword, it describes the flower as appearing like a fleur-de-lis.
The apartment I'm moving into belongs to Fleur Elise.
Life really is a quantum science experiment.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
Yoga stuff
I must not drink espresso before practice
I must not drink espresso before practice
I must not drink espresso before practice
I must not drink espresso before practice
I must not drink espresso before practice
I must not drink espresso before practice
Simi’s Saturday morning class doesn’t start until 8.30am - abnormally late for me to be doing yoga. By 8.30am I've usually finished practice and am sitting happily in a cafe with my beloved post practice espresso, recovering and pondering the meaning of yoga and life.
Although this is the third Saturday morning class I’ve been to, I haven’t been able to go without a caffeine fix first - it's just too late in the morning. So there’s no hiding that I’ve got a caffeine addiction – two strong coffees per day is my absolute limit but I wouldn’t go without them. My entire day is built around those two caffeine fixes.
Needless to say this morning’s practice fuelled by caffeine was shaky, bendy, intense and scatty. A pretty mixed cocktail. Every now and then I noticed my mind was miles away – I’d be in a pose, the five breaths were happening automatically but my head was cut off from my body, it was somewhere else, off in a fantasy world, creating elaborate scenarios then playing in them, completely oblivious to what I was doing in the here and now.
But since I did the entire practice without stopping or cheating, I’m happy with it on the whole.
I shouldn't go for quantity over quality, but these days, just DOING a practice, however it turns out, is reason to celebrate.
Simi spent a little time correcting the finer details of my Chaturanga Dandasana this morning; I need to engage more Uddiyana Bandha, place my hands a little further back towards my waist (or more correctly bring my torso further forward) and pull back the lats more. It’s all stuff I know (and taught) but funny how the bad habits creep in over time and we need reminding to APPLY what we know.
Same thing in Sirsasana…my weak right shoulder naturally wants to slack off in Headstand and I have to constantly nag at it to get it lifting up and back. As soon as my focus shifts to anothe rpart of my body the shoulder drops again. Sneaky little thing it is.
Sirsasana is such a complex pose: finding just the right sweet spot on the head, lifting the shoulders to prevent the cervical spine from compressing, pressing the tail forward and the thighs back, engaging and lengthening the inner legs…so much going on while balancing. The mind really has to attend to all those little details when it’s training the body to be safe in the pose. But there comes a time when the muscular body knows what to do and how to work, and that’s when the experience of this pose becomes more subtle and other dimensional layers begin to reveal themselves.
The feeling tone
I’ve started experimenting a little with the feeling body in my practice. I think of an especially emotive word (like Love, or Essence) and consciously infuse the fullest expression of that word's meaning though every cell of my body. What results is a palpable and uplifting feeling of expansion, a melting, a warmth all over, not unlike the energetic fullness after orgasm where the nervous system is peacefully alive, but it’s created entirely by thought, and by allowing the thought to evoke a feeling and allowing the feeling to infuse and permeate the body fully.
I’m reminded of the experiment done by Dr Masaru Emoto that was featured in the film “What the Bleep Do We Know” where a special kind of photographic image was taken of the water crystals in a bottle of distilled water. Then a word was written and taped to the same bottle of water and left overnight. The resulting image taken of the water crystals had dramatically changed. Various words were tested and the crystals reformed and changed shape each time.
http://www.thank-water.net/english/index.html
It was fascinating to connect the qualities of the shape to the word -I think if you put all the words in one line, then put the water crystal shapes in another line, you'd easily be able to match the word to the corresponding crystal pattern. What a nice game to play.
As it was pointed out in the film, if a thought can change the shape and structure of water crystals, consider what it does to the human body which is made up of on average 61.8% water. I have no doubt that every thought we have impacts on our body at a cellular level, as well as on the environment around us, which includes the people around us. If we truly are all connected then everything and everyone is One Being, we are all parts of The Whole, and what happens in one part of the being reverberates like a ripple throughout the rest of the whole.
Anyone who has done a period of serious meditation will have experienced the effect of a single thought on the chemistry of their body. In the stillness of meditation such effects are magnified, seen and felt very clearly.
So what I’m getting at is that when I consciously conjure up a particular word and allow the energy behind it’s meaning to imbue it’s essence throughout my physical being, the effect can be felt all over so it must be impacting and transforming on a cellular level.
I don't know where this will go, if anywhere, but it's little insights like these that gradually change the culture in the petri dish, ever so slightly. Today I am different to yesterday and tomorrow I'll be different again. Changing, changing, changing...anicca, anicca, anicca...
My life often feels like a quantum science experiment.
Going solo
Until now, I hadn’t realised that I’ve never lived alone. What a small revelation.
This surprising fact has only just emerged because in 6 weeks I’ll be moving into a new place – on my own – for the first time.
My habitation history from birth til now goes like this:
Birth to 15 years old: home
From 15 – 21: in and out of share houses with friends and sisters, and back home in between houses
At 21: married and raised 2 children in a family home
At 34: walked away from abusive husband with the 2 children but no possessions. He kept everything and I had to start from scratch with nothing, while raising two teenagers.
At 41: my daughter moved out and my son and I continued to live together until the beginning of 2006 when his urgent need for independence from Mum and his lack of money (no job, no income) meant that I, at age 45, sacrificed my own needs (as Mums do) and moved out. I lived with my Mum for all of last year until she finally sold the family house, then I came to stay with my friend Renate in February for 6 months while her husband was overseas.
Times almost up.
I hadn’t thought too much about what would happen when I the time came to move out of Renates. I knew the universe would provide and I now trust that process implicitly.
As expected, the Universe provided.
A chance conversation out of nowhere revealed an opportunity to take over Fleur’s dilapidated residence in an old mansion for one year from the end of July. Now this is almost impeccable timing by the Universe, and almost unbelievable when pondering how beautifully the circumstances were orchestrated for it to come about. The arrangement suits both our needs absolutely perfectly – like two jigsaw pieces that the Universe found and fitted together.
The mansion is amazing – it’s divided into four residences, rent is cheap as chips because it’s run down and barely habitable. But my part has two enormous rooms off a huge entrance hall (one room I think was the mansion’s ballroom) with open fires in both rooms, there’s a pokey kitchen and a pokier, grotty, little bathroom, minimal furniture and enormous ceilings that are so high you can barely see them. The place is impossible to heat, but will be great in summer, and it must be the best possible yoga space you could imagine.
But…I’ll be living alone – wow. What will that be like, and will I really love it as much as I think I will - being such a social recluse already it may just bring about my total disappearance from civilisation.
My life is feeling even more like a quantum science experiment.
Bush Flower Remedy
I finished the Boab Essence and Angie recommended Angelsword essence next.
It’s a confusing name – do you pronounce it Angel’s Word or Angel Sword???
I’m not sure of why she prescribed that one, but I’ve been taking it for a few days now.
Is it affecting me in any way? Don’t know that either.
What I just realised is that in this weblink to Angelsword, it describes the flower as appearing like a fleur-de-lis.
The apartment I'm moving into belongs to Fleur Elise.
Life really is a quantum science experiment.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
Monday 28th May 2007
Now that I don't teach yoga on Saturdays, I'm free to go to Simi's Saturday morning Mysore class before I start work in the Gallery at 11am. The class starts at 8.30am so the timing is perfect. I grab a coffee from Cebo's after class and get to work just on time.
Perhaps its the later start, or maybe its the brigher morning light in the shala, or the female energy, or Simi's presence, but whatever it is, it works for me. I've been two Saturdays in a row now, and they've both been great practices.
I'm reading a profound book at the moment, "Essence with The Elixir of Enlightenment” by A. H. Almaas, which is ever-so-bluntly reminding me of where I need to shift my focus, so here's some selected excerpts (creatively edited) from the book:
“The desire for freedom, liberation, enlightenment, self-realization, inner development or whatever it is called is not a response to a call from outside you. It is not that you hear of enlightenment and then you want to be enlightened. It is not embarking on the journey because other, people you know, are on it. It is not a fad.
It is not a desire for self-improvement. It is not an attempt to be some kind of an ideal model you have in your mind, It is not doing something according to some beliefs and opinions you have picked up someplace, recently or in the far past.
The search is a very personal concern, an intimately personal interest in your situation. It is a response to a call deep within you. The call at the beginning is a vague, almost imperceptible and mysterious flame. It shows itself as a questioning of the disharmony you live in. It is your disharmony, as you experience it. It is your own questioning. And it is your personal yearning.
The stirring must come from you, from your depths. The questioning must be of your situation, your mind, not of some system that somebody else has set up. You can use the system to help you, but ultimately it is your life, your mind, your quest.
Enlightenment cannot be according to any system. It has to resolve and clarify your own situation. The realization must satisfy and fulfil your heart, not the standards of some system. The liberation must be of you, you personally.
The quest does not bring about improvement or perfection. It brings about a maturity, a humanity, and a wisdom.
The moment essence (God/The Divine/The Source) is recognized as one’s being and experienced as such, a radical transformation occurs.
One’s life will never be the same.
Although the transformation can be total, it is usually partial. Nevertheless it is a radical transformation: the person knows for the first time what being is and that it is his true nature. This discovery initiates the process of inner transforation. The mind and personality are clarified steadily, and objectivity becomes more and more complete. Essence transubstantiates into its various aspects and dimensions.
Life is no longer the exclusive domain of the personality. As essence unfolds and expands, it exposes deeper and more basic sectors of the personality, bringing about knowledge and objectivity. And these in turn allow essence to displace the personality on more and more dimensions.
Life stops being the life of strife and frustration, the wish for success and the fear of failure. More than anything else, life becomes a process of creative discovery and discovery itself becomes the heart of life.
The unfolding of essence becomes the process of living. As this unfolding proceeds, it affects the mind, the personality, and the external life. The identity starts shifting from personality to essence. The individual starts experiencing himself as essence instead of the experiencer of essence.
Commitment to the truth is sufficient for the process to unfold.
It is a matter of letting go of the ego identity and living from the essence that is already present. One’s life with all its situations, comes into focus. One’s style of life – how one leads one’s life in all its aspects – becomes understood and modified accordingly. The individual becomes aware of his environment and ascertains whether it supports or inhibits the life of essence. Everything, everypart of one’s life, inner or outer, becomes conscious, no longer under the sway of the unconscious. This is very deep and involved work. It leads to responsibility and maturity.
One must shift the identity from ego to the essence. This is the most difficult part of the process. Even after essence in its various aspects is uncovered and freed, the individual finds that he still believes in his personality. The essence is present, but the individual still thinks of himself and very often acts if he is not paying attention, as if her is the personality. That is why the death of this identity is so strongly stressed by all true teachings.
This does not mean, as some teachings have it, that the individual must experience the essential self all the time, that he must hold onto it as the most precious thing. What needs to happen is to free this aspect of essence for it to become a station, to become permanently available so that it is there when its mode of operation is needed.
Experiences of ego death occur here. Inner aloneness is accepted. Personal boundaries dissolve. One starts to understand and experience boundlessness, timelessness, not doing, innocence, and purity. Essence and mind start becoming one.
Living one’s life and the work on oneself become one thing. The shift of identity from personality to essence is nothing but the realization of the true self, the high self of essence. Realization then becomes more and more expressed in living, in action. Practical action becomes the action of the true being. There is efficiency, economy, simplicity, directness. One fully lives in the world but is constantly connected to the Beyond, the Supreme Reality.
______________________________________________________________________________________________
Now that I don't teach yoga on Saturdays, I'm free to go to Simi's Saturday morning Mysore class before I start work in the Gallery at 11am. The class starts at 8.30am so the timing is perfect. I grab a coffee from Cebo's after class and get to work just on time.
Perhaps its the later start, or maybe its the brigher morning light in the shala, or the female energy, or Simi's presence, but whatever it is, it works for me. I've been two Saturdays in a row now, and they've both been great practices.
I'm reading a profound book at the moment, "Essence with The Elixir of Enlightenment” by A. H. Almaas, which is ever-so-bluntly reminding me of where I need to shift my focus, so here's some selected excerpts (creatively edited) from the book:
“The desire for freedom, liberation, enlightenment, self-realization, inner development or whatever it is called is not a response to a call from outside you. It is not that you hear of enlightenment and then you want to be enlightened. It is not embarking on the journey because other, people you know, are on it. It is not a fad.
It is not a desire for self-improvement. It is not an attempt to be some kind of an ideal model you have in your mind, It is not doing something according to some beliefs and opinions you have picked up someplace, recently or in the far past.
The search is a very personal concern, an intimately personal interest in your situation. It is a response to a call deep within you. The call at the beginning is a vague, almost imperceptible and mysterious flame. It shows itself as a questioning of the disharmony you live in. It is your disharmony, as you experience it. It is your own questioning. And it is your personal yearning.
The stirring must come from you, from your depths. The questioning must be of your situation, your mind, not of some system that somebody else has set up. You can use the system to help you, but ultimately it is your life, your mind, your quest.
Enlightenment cannot be according to any system. It has to resolve and clarify your own situation. The realization must satisfy and fulfil your heart, not the standards of some system. The liberation must be of you, you personally.
The quest does not bring about improvement or perfection. It brings about a maturity, a humanity, and a wisdom.
The moment essence (God/The Divine/The Source) is recognized as one’s being and experienced as such, a radical transformation occurs.
One’s life will never be the same.
Although the transformation can be total, it is usually partial. Nevertheless it is a radical transformation: the person knows for the first time what being is and that it is his true nature. This discovery initiates the process of inner transforation. The mind and personality are clarified steadily, and objectivity becomes more and more complete. Essence transubstantiates into its various aspects and dimensions.
Life is no longer the exclusive domain of the personality. As essence unfolds and expands, it exposes deeper and more basic sectors of the personality, bringing about knowledge and objectivity. And these in turn allow essence to displace the personality on more and more dimensions.
Life stops being the life of strife and frustration, the wish for success and the fear of failure. More than anything else, life becomes a process of creative discovery and discovery itself becomes the heart of life.
The unfolding of essence becomes the process of living. As this unfolding proceeds, it affects the mind, the personality, and the external life. The identity starts shifting from personality to essence. The individual starts experiencing himself as essence instead of the experiencer of essence.
Commitment to the truth is sufficient for the process to unfold.
It is a matter of letting go of the ego identity and living from the essence that is already present. One’s life with all its situations, comes into focus. One’s style of life – how one leads one’s life in all its aspects – becomes understood and modified accordingly. The individual becomes aware of his environment and ascertains whether it supports or inhibits the life of essence. Everything, everypart of one’s life, inner or outer, becomes conscious, no longer under the sway of the unconscious. This is very deep and involved work. It leads to responsibility and maturity.
One must shift the identity from ego to the essence. This is the most difficult part of the process. Even after essence in its various aspects is uncovered and freed, the individual finds that he still believes in his personality. The essence is present, but the individual still thinks of himself and very often acts if he is not paying attention, as if her is the personality. That is why the death of this identity is so strongly stressed by all true teachings.
This does not mean, as some teachings have it, that the individual must experience the essential self all the time, that he must hold onto it as the most precious thing. What needs to happen is to free this aspect of essence for it to become a station, to become permanently available so that it is there when its mode of operation is needed.
Experiences of ego death occur here. Inner aloneness is accepted. Personal boundaries dissolve. One starts to understand and experience boundlessness, timelessness, not doing, innocence, and purity. Essence and mind start becoming one.
Living one’s life and the work on oneself become one thing. The shift of identity from personality to essence is nothing but the realization of the true self, the high self of essence. Realization then becomes more and more expressed in living, in action. Practical action becomes the action of the true being. There is efficiency, economy, simplicity, directness. One fully lives in the world but is constantly connected to the Beyond, the Supreme Reality.
______________________________________________________________________________________________
Thursday 24th May 2007
After the opening chant, David playfully described Thursdays as “hump day” for Ashtangis. The shala was only half full so I guess for those dedicated souls who practice 5-6 days a week, Day 5 is the most difficult one to face, sort of the final push to get to the apex. Day 6 is a breeze – in traditional Ashtanga practice which most shalas observe, Friday is always a led Primary class which feels like playday. Having rarely managed a 6 day practice week, I’m unqualified to even consider bumping up against the Thursday “hump day”. Most days are hump-days for me.
When I used to do the 5-day workshops with Glenn Ceresoli, it was Day 3 that always humped me. Sometimes it was so humpy that I couldn’t even rouse myself into going, but after Day 3 it was like I’d been reprogrammed, and getting up for daily yoga was not only a joy, but it became an accepted and integrated part of the day instead of a novelty.
Today’s practice started out OK but the initial bubbles fizzled out midway through the seated poses. Funny that…it seems to happen when the quality of energy is only superficial, it’s deceptive, it feels effervescent and light to start off with but isn’t sustainable for an entire practice unless it changes and deepens.
I came to a complete standstill at Navasana and just couldn’t drum up the will or intention to go on so I did one halfhearted backbend then the finishing sequence. I must from now on remember to lay my mat down at the door end rather than the front end of the shala, which is where the VERY LOUD breathing/moaning/grunting girl practices. She’s a beautiful blonde and an even more beautiful person, but she has quite a unique sound effects system installed in her hard drive that really should be on mute or at least turned down. When her breath gets going, it echoes through the shala like a tornado in a wind tunnell which is pretty amazing really. But she can be in the most unassuming pose like Parsvottanasana and let go of an enormous groan. Practising right next to her todya I just couldn't keep it all together.
So that means I’ve now chalked up two black marks on my shala practice record, stopping at Navasana twice in two weeks Given that I’m in a rebuilding phase and my energy’s still weakened from injury, I’m delighted simply to be practising once again. Five morning practices (out of seven days) this week is pretty outstanding even if two were a little stunted.
I was blessed with Teacher Attention in only one pose today – Marichyasana B. It wasn’t a good choice for adjusting because my sprained ankle makes Ardha Padmasana on one side almost impossible. The first side of Marichy B is the easy one for me, well I thought it was until Teacher showed me where my body parts weren’t working. He spent some time trying to encourage my front hips to roll inwards (is that anatomically possible?). I can understand in theory how this would help open up my concreted lower back, but in practice, as his hands tried to sculpt the action around my hips, none of my muscles were assisting him. Alas t’was all in vain.
Then again at the end of practice, as I was preparing my injured ankle for the Padmasana pose, Teacher came up and asked me to roll over into a Halasana position with my right leg in Ardha Padmasana (this is the one with the sprained ankle). Once there, I was supposed to reach my right hand behind my back and grab the right foot. That would have put me in an upside down Ardha Baddha Padma Paschimottanasana which is a seated pose I love, but my hand didn’t get anywhere near my foot doing it laying on my back. I think when in the seated version, you can twist the upper body a lot to reach the hand around your back and grab the foot before straightening up to go forward over the extended leg. But when you’re laying on your back you can’t twist (cheat) at all. So my hand was flailing behind my back looking for a far off toe while I was trying to implement the instruction to draw the front hips inwards (again no muscular response). My brain fuzzed out trying to cope with TWO challenges at one time and my body responded by dumping another layer of concrete into my lower back.
Isn’t there a passive pose I could just lay in for an hour or so that would help release and open up my lower back. One where I don’t have to think, or fight through all the resistance I encounter in that part of my anatomy. One where I could just lay there and let the magic happen. Kosta suggested Ardha Halasana on a chair in the evenings so maybe I’ll try that. In fact maybe I’ll start indulging in some of that passive evening yoga now that my workload has eased a little.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Monday 21st May 2007
Jumping into Janu B
Nothing exceptional to note from today’s practice at the shala except I did dropbacks (assisted) for the first time in many, many months – or has it been years – sure felt like it as I stood there in front of the Teacher, waiting for a miracle to raise my arms, ground my legs and lift my heart up and over that hurdle. Apart from that it was just a quietly steady practice from beginning to end.
A moment of wandering drishti towards the end of my practice gave me some food for thought today. I noticed David instructing the bearded man opposite me in how to correctly jump straight from Dog Pose and land with the foot under the buttock for Janu Sirsasana B. The man could hardly believe it was humanly possible. I think he’s only just been given Janu B so he’ll be working on that challenge for a while.
But what bothers me a little is that I’ve been doing this practice under the eyes of David and Simi for three years now and neither of them have ever told me to jump straight into Janu Sirsasana B like that. It’s not that I haven’t seen it done properly, or didn’t know I should be entering it that way, it’s just that I’ve never attempted to do it. I’ve always jumped through to Dandasana first THEN bent up the leg, THEN shimmied by butt up and onto the foot, THEN reached for the other foot, THEN moved into the full pose. Neither of my teachers have picked me up on this or taken the time to show me how to do it correctly. Why is that? Maybe there’s nothing to it. Maybe I just need to try it a couple of times and it will come. If I can jump straight into Tiriang position, I should be able to do it. I apologise to my teachers. It is my shortcoming. And now I shall work on this.
I guess my little self-centred whinge is that I’ve always felt like a ring in at the shala, having come to Ashtanga as a fairly advanced yoga practitioner and not as a complete beginner. I was allowed to do all of Primary series right from the first day and didn’t have to come up through the ranks of being given and taught the poses one by one. And over the years my teachers haven’t been too bothered about correcting little anomalies in my practice, like jumping straight into the Janu Sirsasanas. Have they not noticed, or have they unfairly put me into that ‘other’ category of students, those people who drop in for a sweaty workout now and then, the part timers who aren’t worthy of receiving the teacher’s loving but stricter guidance in the details of a correct practice.
So you can imagine how absolutely delighted I was when Teacher picked me up on a different error this morning. I’ve always held the first part of Ubhaya Padangusthasana (the Halasana lookalike) for 5 breaths before rolling up into the balancing position for another 5 breaths. Today Teacher saw this and said “one breath only there”. My heart leaped for joy. All these years of practice and I didn’t actually know that. Now I do, so I’m a smidgeon closer to doing this practice absolutely correctly, by the book, by the true vinyasa count. The time has come to work on and perfect all those miniscule finer points like correct lift-up-and-jump-backs, like rolling up perfectly to Kukkutasana, like jumping straight into Bhujapidasana instead of wrigging into it, like coming up from the forward bending Supta Konasana into the balance without letting go of the outside of the feet, etc…etc…the list goes on.
Simi corrected my position in Janu Sirsasana B in the Saturday morning class taking my bent knee way, way past 90 degrees and sitting me much more forward on the heel so it rested snugly in the anus. That made for a VERY different experience of the pose, so there’s another challenge to work with. There’s always something else to work on, it’s endless.
The Ashtanga practice is alive in me again and although I’m still working around a weak shoulder, a sprained ankle and a forearm covered with brand new pink baby skin, I’m very excited to be back into it again.
“No more pencils, no more books, no more teachers’ ugly looks.”
As kids, we used to sing this little rhyme on the last day of school while merrily skipping out of the grounds and into the school holidays, our hearts open our souls suddenly set free from the tyrrany of captivity.
And that’s exactly how I feel now that I’ve stopped teaching yoga …free to just be me.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
After the opening chant, David playfully described Thursdays as “hump day” for Ashtangis. The shala was only half full so I guess for those dedicated souls who practice 5-6 days a week, Day 5 is the most difficult one to face, sort of the final push to get to the apex. Day 6 is a breeze – in traditional Ashtanga practice which most shalas observe, Friday is always a led Primary class which feels like playday. Having rarely managed a 6 day practice week, I’m unqualified to even consider bumping up against the Thursday “hump day”. Most days are hump-days for me.
When I used to do the 5-day workshops with Glenn Ceresoli, it was Day 3 that always humped me. Sometimes it was so humpy that I couldn’t even rouse myself into going, but after Day 3 it was like I’d been reprogrammed, and getting up for daily yoga was not only a joy, but it became an accepted and integrated part of the day instead of a novelty.
Today’s practice started out OK but the initial bubbles fizzled out midway through the seated poses. Funny that…it seems to happen when the quality of energy is only superficial, it’s deceptive, it feels effervescent and light to start off with but isn’t sustainable for an entire practice unless it changes and deepens.
I came to a complete standstill at Navasana and just couldn’t drum up the will or intention to go on so I did one halfhearted backbend then the finishing sequence. I must from now on remember to lay my mat down at the door end rather than the front end of the shala, which is where the VERY LOUD breathing/moaning/grunting girl practices. She’s a beautiful blonde and an even more beautiful person, but she has quite a unique sound effects system installed in her hard drive that really should be on mute or at least turned down. When her breath gets going, it echoes through the shala like a tornado in a wind tunnell which is pretty amazing really. But she can be in the most unassuming pose like Parsvottanasana and let go of an enormous groan. Practising right next to her todya I just couldn't keep it all together.
So that means I’ve now chalked up two black marks on my shala practice record, stopping at Navasana twice in two weeks Given that I’m in a rebuilding phase and my energy’s still weakened from injury, I’m delighted simply to be practising once again. Five morning practices (out of seven days) this week is pretty outstanding even if two were a little stunted.
I was blessed with Teacher Attention in only one pose today – Marichyasana B. It wasn’t a good choice for adjusting because my sprained ankle makes Ardha Padmasana on one side almost impossible. The first side of Marichy B is the easy one for me, well I thought it was until Teacher showed me where my body parts weren’t working. He spent some time trying to encourage my front hips to roll inwards (is that anatomically possible?). I can understand in theory how this would help open up my concreted lower back, but in practice, as his hands tried to sculpt the action around my hips, none of my muscles were assisting him. Alas t’was all in vain.
Then again at the end of practice, as I was preparing my injured ankle for the Padmasana pose, Teacher came up and asked me to roll over into a Halasana position with my right leg in Ardha Padmasana (this is the one with the sprained ankle). Once there, I was supposed to reach my right hand behind my back and grab the right foot. That would have put me in an upside down Ardha Baddha Padma Paschimottanasana which is a seated pose I love, but my hand didn’t get anywhere near my foot doing it laying on my back. I think when in the seated version, you can twist the upper body a lot to reach the hand around your back and grab the foot before straightening up to go forward over the extended leg. But when you’re laying on your back you can’t twist (cheat) at all. So my hand was flailing behind my back looking for a far off toe while I was trying to implement the instruction to draw the front hips inwards (again no muscular response). My brain fuzzed out trying to cope with TWO challenges at one time and my body responded by dumping another layer of concrete into my lower back.
Isn’t there a passive pose I could just lay in for an hour or so that would help release and open up my lower back. One where I don’t have to think, or fight through all the resistance I encounter in that part of my anatomy. One where I could just lay there and let the magic happen. Kosta suggested Ardha Halasana on a chair in the evenings so maybe I’ll try that. In fact maybe I’ll start indulging in some of that passive evening yoga now that my workload has eased a little.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Monday 21st May 2007
Jumping into Janu B
Nothing exceptional to note from today’s practice at the shala except I did dropbacks (assisted) for the first time in many, many months – or has it been years – sure felt like it as I stood there in front of the Teacher, waiting for a miracle to raise my arms, ground my legs and lift my heart up and over that hurdle. Apart from that it was just a quietly steady practice from beginning to end.
A moment of wandering drishti towards the end of my practice gave me some food for thought today. I noticed David instructing the bearded man opposite me in how to correctly jump straight from Dog Pose and land with the foot under the buttock for Janu Sirsasana B. The man could hardly believe it was humanly possible. I think he’s only just been given Janu B so he’ll be working on that challenge for a while.
But what bothers me a little is that I’ve been doing this practice under the eyes of David and Simi for three years now and neither of them have ever told me to jump straight into Janu Sirsasana B like that. It’s not that I haven’t seen it done properly, or didn’t know I should be entering it that way, it’s just that I’ve never attempted to do it. I’ve always jumped through to Dandasana first THEN bent up the leg, THEN shimmied by butt up and onto the foot, THEN reached for the other foot, THEN moved into the full pose. Neither of my teachers have picked me up on this or taken the time to show me how to do it correctly. Why is that? Maybe there’s nothing to it. Maybe I just need to try it a couple of times and it will come. If I can jump straight into Tiriang position, I should be able to do it. I apologise to my teachers. It is my shortcoming. And now I shall work on this.
I guess my little self-centred whinge is that I’ve always felt like a ring in at the shala, having come to Ashtanga as a fairly advanced yoga practitioner and not as a complete beginner. I was allowed to do all of Primary series right from the first day and didn’t have to come up through the ranks of being given and taught the poses one by one. And over the years my teachers haven’t been too bothered about correcting little anomalies in my practice, like jumping straight into the Janu Sirsasanas. Have they not noticed, or have they unfairly put me into that ‘other’ category of students, those people who drop in for a sweaty workout now and then, the part timers who aren’t worthy of receiving the teacher’s loving but stricter guidance in the details of a correct practice.
So you can imagine how absolutely delighted I was when Teacher picked me up on a different error this morning. I’ve always held the first part of Ubhaya Padangusthasana (the Halasana lookalike) for 5 breaths before rolling up into the balancing position for another 5 breaths. Today Teacher saw this and said “one breath only there”. My heart leaped for joy. All these years of practice and I didn’t actually know that. Now I do, so I’m a smidgeon closer to doing this practice absolutely correctly, by the book, by the true vinyasa count. The time has come to work on and perfect all those miniscule finer points like correct lift-up-and-jump-backs, like rolling up perfectly to Kukkutasana, like jumping straight into Bhujapidasana instead of wrigging into it, like coming up from the forward bending Supta Konasana into the balance without letting go of the outside of the feet, etc…etc…the list goes on.
Simi corrected my position in Janu Sirsasana B in the Saturday morning class taking my bent knee way, way past 90 degrees and sitting me much more forward on the heel so it rested snugly in the anus. That made for a VERY different experience of the pose, so there’s another challenge to work with. There’s always something else to work on, it’s endless.
The Ashtanga practice is alive in me again and although I’m still working around a weak shoulder, a sprained ankle and a forearm covered with brand new pink baby skin, I’m very excited to be back into it again.
“No more pencils, no more books, no more teachers’ ugly looks.”
As kids, we used to sing this little rhyme on the last day of school while merrily skipping out of the grounds and into the school holidays, our hearts open our souls suddenly set free from the tyrrany of captivity.
And that’s exactly how I feel now that I’ve stopped teaching yoga …free to just be me.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Friday 11th May 2007
A mindless summary of the past 5 days of practice
(OK, 3 days actually):
Monday: 6am Mysore practice at the shala with David. I looked like a crash victim – right arm bandaged (the burn), right ankle bandaged (the sprain).
David left me alone.
After one standard adjustment in Utthita Hasta Padanguthasana the rest of the practice was all mine. I felt him observing me a couple of times but I probably looked too fragile to touch. As it turned out, a strong start gave way to exhaustion, and I actually stopped at Navasana for the first time in my shala-practice history.
Tuesday: Lukewarm primary practice at Renate’s studio.
Wednesday and Thursday: ladies holiday.
Friday: broke the 3 days off holiday rule and went to Darren’s led Iyengar class.
I scribbled a few pages about Darren’s class this morning (lots of backbends with a chair) and waffled on a bit, following the errant trains of thought that came and went as I was musing: the foreboding threat of menopause; the dimensional shift in thinking that occurs when we switch from lower self to higher self (a bit like changing gears); and how I’d bring up my kids if I had those years all over again (and is it too late?).
Too bad I'm too tired to edit, type and post it all.
Too, too, too bad.
That’s why my blog is so boring these days. There's no time to shift gears and mull over the bigger stuff, so I'm stuck on the lower mind merry-go-round, going round and round in circles. It’s all little thoughts, petty stuff, all the individual look-at-me threads that make up the fabric of day to day life.
Flower Essences
Angie’s been doing a course in Australian bush flower remedies and she’s using me as one of her test clients for a final assignment.
After taking down all my personal history last Friday, she recommended the Boab essence, which I’ve been dropping under my tongue twice a day for the last week. Apparently the Aborigines in the Kimberley region of north west Australia give boab to their children as soon as they're born to prevent negative emotional patterns of previous generations from being passed on. So it's used for its ability to break adverse family conditioning.
I've got one more week to go and I cant’ say I’ve noticed anything, really. I'm sceptical about all new-age remedies (even those based on ancient knowledge), but honestly I'm open to everything. Quite possibly I’m so busy from the moment my eyes open til I fall into bed at night that the subtleties of a flower essence are completely lost on me.
The whiff of brandy in the mixture’s a naughty hint of past life debauchery though, especially at the newborn hour of 5.30am in the morning.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
A mindless summary of the past 5 days of practice
(OK, 3 days actually):
Monday: 6am Mysore practice at the shala with David. I looked like a crash victim – right arm bandaged (the burn), right ankle bandaged (the sprain).
David left me alone.
After one standard adjustment in Utthita Hasta Padanguthasana the rest of the practice was all mine. I felt him observing me a couple of times but I probably looked too fragile to touch. As it turned out, a strong start gave way to exhaustion, and I actually stopped at Navasana for the first time in my shala-practice history.
Tuesday: Lukewarm primary practice at Renate’s studio.
Wednesday and Thursday: ladies holiday.
Friday: broke the 3 days off holiday rule and went to Darren’s led Iyengar class.
I scribbled a few pages about Darren’s class this morning (lots of backbends with a chair) and waffled on a bit, following the errant trains of thought that came and went as I was musing: the foreboding threat of menopause; the dimensional shift in thinking that occurs when we switch from lower self to higher self (a bit like changing gears); and how I’d bring up my kids if I had those years all over again (and is it too late?).
Too bad I'm too tired to edit, type and post it all.
Too, too, too bad.
That’s why my blog is so boring these days. There's no time to shift gears and mull over the bigger stuff, so I'm stuck on the lower mind merry-go-round, going round and round in circles. It’s all little thoughts, petty stuff, all the individual look-at-me threads that make up the fabric of day to day life.
Flower Essences
Angie’s been doing a course in Australian bush flower remedies and she’s using me as one of her test clients for a final assignment.
After taking down all my personal history last Friday, she recommended the Boab essence, which I’ve been dropping under my tongue twice a day for the last week. Apparently the Aborigines in the Kimberley region of north west Australia give boab to their children as soon as they're born to prevent negative emotional patterns of previous generations from being passed on. So it's used for its ability to break adverse family conditioning.
I've got one more week to go and I cant’ say I’ve noticed anything, really. I'm sceptical about all new-age remedies (even those based on ancient knowledge), but honestly I'm open to everything. Quite possibly I’m so busy from the moment my eyes open til I fall into bed at night that the subtleties of a flower essence are completely lost on me.
The whiff of brandy in the mixture’s a naughty hint of past life debauchery though, especially at the newborn hour of 5.30am in the morning.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
Friday 4th May 2007
Meanwhile, back at the shala
Early Thursday morning…I climbed up the 4 flights of stairs to the shala door and arrived slightly breathless. I listened. It was only 5.45am and the chanting on the other side of the door was in full swing with Simi at the helm.
Walking in would have been rude, not to mention every set of eyes suddenly on ME, so I waited until the cue at 6am when I heard her ask them to rise. Then I walked in…my suspicion confirmed…it was a led class today which had started at 5.30am, so I just casually joined in and went with the flow.
I learned after the class that David had been in Mysore for 3 weeks because of Guruji’s health scare, but he was returning on Sunday. Simi had been taking the early morning Mysore classes but the led Friday classes had to be moved to Thursday because of her other commitments. I hadn’t seen Simi for so long so we hugged and chatted affectionately after class and she refused to let me pay for the class - “its’ a gift” she said sweetly.
So I’ll officially start back next Monday with David fresh back from the source.
Then the Iyengar class
After a seemingly endless period of illness and injury, my body’s fallen into disrepair, but where there’s life, there’s hope! I’m beginning to feel a hunger to get back into any and all yoga practice, so I went to Darren’s led Iyengar practice at 6am this morning. Can’t remember the last time I went to that class.
No warm ups today, straight to the wall for an opening set of handstands and forearm balances. Then some extended standing poses, (all the usuals from my beloved Ashtanga sequence except the balances) plus Ardha Chandrasana and Virabhadrasana III.
Then the usual Iyengar mid-sequence 5 minute Headstand and back to the wall for WHAT! MORE HANDSTANDS? before taking two blocks to the wall for a marathon session of repeated Urdhva Dhanurasanas and Dwi Pada Viparitta Dandasanas.
A couple of passive forward bends to counter the megadose of backbending, then Setu Bandha Sarvangasana on a bolster with our legs up the wall. Sweet mercy.
I heard in the changeroom after that it was a much stronger, harder class than usual which I was sort of relieved to hear. I loved it. The downside? I was hyped up all day at work and got twice as much done as usual, well good from a work perspective, but not quite so good from a psychological one - mad monkey mind.
and too many cooks spoil the broth
My burn is healing well. The hospital gave me some Sorbolene cream to apply daily to help moisturize it. And that folks is all I’m doing.
So many well-meaning people have given me different advice on what to put on it, and all they did was confuse me. They all had something different to prescribe: one said to apply honey - any honey, another recommended a “special honey”, someone else swore by aloe vera, then there was something else that sounded like Calendula, there was Vitamin E, rosehip oil, Derma Wheat wheatgrass recovery cream, silver something you take in capsules – the list went on and on.
So simple Sorbolene it is – when I remember.
Which reminds me...
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Meanwhile, back at the shala
Early Thursday morning…I climbed up the 4 flights of stairs to the shala door and arrived slightly breathless. I listened. It was only 5.45am and the chanting on the other side of the door was in full swing with Simi at the helm.
Walking in would have been rude, not to mention every set of eyes suddenly on ME, so I waited until the cue at 6am when I heard her ask them to rise. Then I walked in…my suspicion confirmed…it was a led class today which had started at 5.30am, so I just casually joined in and went with the flow.
I learned after the class that David had been in Mysore for 3 weeks because of Guruji’s health scare, but he was returning on Sunday. Simi had been taking the early morning Mysore classes but the led Friday classes had to be moved to Thursday because of her other commitments. I hadn’t seen Simi for so long so we hugged and chatted affectionately after class and she refused to let me pay for the class - “its’ a gift” she said sweetly.
So I’ll officially start back next Monday with David fresh back from the source.
Then the Iyengar class
After a seemingly endless period of illness and injury, my body’s fallen into disrepair, but where there’s life, there’s hope! I’m beginning to feel a hunger to get back into any and all yoga practice, so I went to Darren’s led Iyengar practice at 6am this morning. Can’t remember the last time I went to that class.
No warm ups today, straight to the wall for an opening set of handstands and forearm balances. Then some extended standing poses, (all the usuals from my beloved Ashtanga sequence except the balances) plus Ardha Chandrasana and Virabhadrasana III.
Then the usual Iyengar mid-sequence 5 minute Headstand and back to the wall for WHAT! MORE HANDSTANDS? before taking two blocks to the wall for a marathon session of repeated Urdhva Dhanurasanas and Dwi Pada Viparitta Dandasanas.
A couple of passive forward bends to counter the megadose of backbending, then Setu Bandha Sarvangasana on a bolster with our legs up the wall. Sweet mercy.
I heard in the changeroom after that it was a much stronger, harder class than usual which I was sort of relieved to hear. I loved it. The downside? I was hyped up all day at work and got twice as much done as usual, well good from a work perspective, but not quite so good from a psychological one - mad monkey mind.
and too many cooks spoil the broth
My burn is healing well. The hospital gave me some Sorbolene cream to apply daily to help moisturize it. And that folks is all I’m doing.
So many well-meaning people have given me different advice on what to put on it, and all they did was confuse me. They all had something different to prescribe: one said to apply honey - any honey, another recommended a “special honey”, someone else swore by aloe vera, then there was something else that sounded like Calendula, there was Vitamin E, rosehip oil, Derma Wheat wheatgrass recovery cream, silver something you take in capsules – the list went on and on.
So simple Sorbolene it is – when I remember.
Which reminds me...
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
