Wednesday 12th April 2006
I’ve had two grumpy morning practices in a row. My logical brain wants to know why, especially after having such a good week last week.
Possible reasons:
- Sudden appearance this week of chocolate Easter eggs and hot-cross buns before I could summon enough discipline to resist the temptation.
- Slight increase in work related stress, not a lot, but enough to dull my smile a little.
- Extra aches and pains brought on by the extra practice last week. My body is contracting into protection mode which drains my core vitality. Must remember to watch the mind's reaction to this. A couple of times during practice when it's started to drag, I've brought to mind a strong feeling of joy and expansion and it's been like waving a magic wand, my body smiles a sigh of relief and my energy picks up and lightens...until the veil of forgetfulness descends again.
Yesterday I had a little flirt with Pasasana, but maybe it wasn't a good day to try it on. I felt miles away from the pose which is probably why David hasn’t given it to me yet. Will test drive it again on a better day. A year or so ago I was working up to Salabhasana B, and Pasasana was coming along nicely. Then came the back injury so I went back to rebuilding Primary practice. And I still am.
There’s just so much to work with in Primary - this is a practice I could happily do for the rest of my life and barely scratch the surface of it.
At the shala on Monday I was next to a lovely woman, perhaps in her mid 50’s, visiting here from interstate for a week or two. She’s been doing Ashtanga for 14 years and said she mainly does self practice. We were in synch for most of the practice, both of us doing the full Primary sequence at a similar pace side-by-side. As we went on, I began noticing what a strong, focussed, SERENE practice she had. It was awe inspiring.
Today I was next to her again and the penny dropped – today she was doing ALL of second series, maintaining incredible composure and serenity even in the gnarly bits.
I soon abandoned all wandering drishti and tried to focus on my own Gumby practice.
One positive thing to note is that since I’ve got the jump through happening in every vinyasa now, I’m attempting the proper “pick up and jump back”. "Attempting" is the operative word – it shows that I’m generally in an open and explorative state of mind, willing to look at where I’m stuck and willing to take up the challenge to work on it and through it.
The Lolasana jump backs aren’t coming yet, but I’m onto them, so they will, one day.
Likewise the blocks that prevented me from fully opening up to my partner (and which brought us to the exasperated point of separation) are also in the process of being investigated. Ugly big things they are. Being in a relatively open and expansive frame of mind, there's a desire to look at them and work on them with the same enthusiasm that's propelling me on the yoga mat every day.
Seamlessly the many layers and lessons of yoga are weaving the very fabric of my life.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
I’ve had two grumpy morning practices in a row. My logical brain wants to know why, especially after having such a good week last week.
Possible reasons:
- Sudden appearance this week of chocolate Easter eggs and hot-cross buns before I could summon enough discipline to resist the temptation.
- Slight increase in work related stress, not a lot, but enough to dull my smile a little.
- Extra aches and pains brought on by the extra practice last week. My body is contracting into protection mode which drains my core vitality. Must remember to watch the mind's reaction to this. A couple of times during practice when it's started to drag, I've brought to mind a strong feeling of joy and expansion and it's been like waving a magic wand, my body smiles a sigh of relief and my energy picks up and lightens...until the veil of forgetfulness descends again.
Yesterday I had a little flirt with Pasasana, but maybe it wasn't a good day to try it on. I felt miles away from the pose which is probably why David hasn’t given it to me yet. Will test drive it again on a better day. A year or so ago I was working up to Salabhasana B, and Pasasana was coming along nicely. Then came the back injury so I went back to rebuilding Primary practice. And I still am.
There’s just so much to work with in Primary - this is a practice I could happily do for the rest of my life and barely scratch the surface of it.
At the shala on Monday I was next to a lovely woman, perhaps in her mid 50’s, visiting here from interstate for a week or two. She’s been doing Ashtanga for 14 years and said she mainly does self practice. We were in synch for most of the practice, both of us doing the full Primary sequence at a similar pace side-by-side. As we went on, I began noticing what a strong, focussed, SERENE practice she had. It was awe inspiring.
Today I was next to her again and the penny dropped – today she was doing ALL of second series, maintaining incredible composure and serenity even in the gnarly bits.
I soon abandoned all wandering drishti and tried to focus on my own Gumby practice.
One positive thing to note is that since I’ve got the jump through happening in every vinyasa now, I’m attempting the proper “pick up and jump back”. "Attempting" is the operative word – it shows that I’m generally in an open and explorative state of mind, willing to look at where I’m stuck and willing to take up the challenge to work on it and through it.
The Lolasana jump backs aren’t coming yet, but I’m onto them, so they will, one day.
Likewise the blocks that prevented me from fully opening up to my partner (and which brought us to the exasperated point of separation) are also in the process of being investigated. Ugly big things they are. Being in a relatively open and expansive frame of mind, there's a desire to look at them and work on them with the same enthusiasm that's propelling me on the yoga mat every day.
Seamlessly the many layers and lessons of yoga are weaving the very fabric of my life.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
