Friday 7th April 2006
I did it...
Six consecutive mornings of full Primary practice this week. That marks an important psychological milestone in my approach to this practice.
Why am I so excited about this?
Why does it mean so much to me?
Firstly I’ve never managed to practice 6 mornings in a row since I started Ashtanga almost 3 years ago. I was even willing to count half practices and even quarter practices if it meant chalking up 6 days in a row – but even with that concession, I never made it.
Secondly I don’t remember being able to do a full Primary practice (the kind where you do every pose fully and in correct order, with no cheating) more than 3 times in any given week. Three full Primary practices somehow got lodged into my brain as the physical maximum I could safely do without destabilising the rest of my life. On the occasional (but rare) week when I did manage to chalk up 5 morning practices in one week, I would have done Darren’s led Iyengar class and stuggled through at least one other practice giving up part way through and laying over a bolster.
So this past week was exceptional. Suddenly I’ve accelerated to light speed for the first time and entered the legendary parallel dimension of authentic Ashtanga practice.
And I’m astounded at how easy it came. Not even the increasing pain in my hip dampened the desire to get up at 5am and onto the mat every morning this week. And not only did I GET to the mat, but I also worked consistently to the edges of my comfort zone.
I hope the compassionate Almighty will forgive me for being so excited about this.
It’s inspiring. (And how weird that I’m inspiring myself). Finally I’m living it and doing it.
My faith and a commitment to this amazing morning practice has escalated.
But back to the million dollar question that is bugging me.
Why does it mean so much to me to have practised for 6 consecutive mornings?
This is an interesting question to reflect on considering that my motivation for studying and practising Yoga (in its greater meaning) is a spiritual one. Developing a solid, daily asana practice is beneficial but not a high priority in the overall scheme.
But Ashtanga…is magic. What makes it so much more than just asana?
Perhaps I’m unknowingly addicted to its effect on me.
What is it about this practice that lifts one far above the mundane and into the spiritual supersphere? It’s demanding, it’s confronting, it’s purifying. And let’s face it, an Iyengar practice just doesn’t come close to this (although the Iyengar practice is useful in a different context).
I wonder, I ponder. Then I realise that all this questioning is no more than citta vritti.
Just do the practice, 6 days a week. Enjoy every moment. And All will come.
Friday Led Practice
This morning’s led practice –Day 6 in my record-breaking week (must reinforce that so I don’t forget) – topped off the week perfectly. It wasn’t a PURE Primary practice, nor was it too unorthodox (as David occasionally is).
A couple of slow motion tai ch’i warm ups, then Surya Namaskars, all the standing poses from an extra wide stance, apparently to work into the outer hip area, trio of Paschimottanasanas, Purvottanasana, then fast forward to Baddha Konasana and all the following poses up to Urdhva Mukha Paschimottanasana with a Chakrasana in between every pose. More than half the class couldn’t do Chakrasana so they just rolled to the side and sat up before doing the vinyasa back to Dandasana.
Then it was Setu Bandhasana without lifting up onto the front of the head, followed by Setu Bandha Sarvangasana (Bridge Pose). David gave us a nice instruction in this pose which is worth mentioning: we held onto our ankles, making sure the little finger was firmly gripping the ankles, raised our hips then took the focus to pulling with the little finger and pressing the elbows firmly into the floor. These two points really helped to connect with the correct movement of the shoulderblades down and in. I’m not overly intimate with my shoulderblades, them things on my back being in the unfamiliar region of upper back body – my attention is habitually drawn to the lumbar or front hips in the backbends unless I’m prodded elsewhere.
Then a different take on the finishing sequence: we did all the poses from Shoulderstand through to Pindasana with a FULL VINYASA in between each pose. That means we started from Samasthithi, did 6 vinyasas then jumped through to sitting, laid down and lifted up inyo Shoulderstand, held it for 10 breaths, did Chakrasana (or rolled to the side) then vinyasad all the way back up to Samasthithi. Repeated this for all the other poses but only held them for 5 breaths. Chakrasana got really fluid and easy because the back of my neck was already softened from the jalandhara bandha in each of the inversions. David said we can do it this way (full vinyasas between all the finishing poses) when we’ve got three and a half hours to practice. Sure thing.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Monday 3rd April 2006
Something beautiful happens when I consciously open up to receive the feeling of divine presence.
A soft electrical buzzing permeates all my nerves and nadis, my solidity begins to break up and the frequency that my physical mass resonates at starts to speed up. I become lighter, less solid, expanding.
It actually feels like the electrical energy that softly courses through my body is working to loosen, neutralise and dissolve a lifetime of blockages held in my body.
Sitting still, with the body dissolving into a higher vibration, there is an equally strong sense of purification of the mental and emotional layers, as if the illusions, ignorance and beliefs that belong to my lower self are being raised up from the dead and dissolved in the light.
It’s hard to describe, but it’s a very physical sensation, and tuning into it requires much more subtle and refined receptors than what we normally walk around with.
Sitting in this altered state and cultivating it is the key to moving my practice to the next level. Not only cultivating it, but surrendering to it and allowing it the freedom to escalate.
It’s a powerful force, this divine intervention, and I sense it will annihilate “Me” when I can eventually surrender fully to it. On a superficial level, I would love to take the next step and fully give way, to empty out all my contents and let it fill me up so that all trace of ‘I’ disappears forever. But I sense at a deeper level, what’s left of ‘Me’ is still hesitant (otherwise it would have happened).
Having worked away for many years to dissolve my Ego (that sense of who “I” am), I now find myself stranded in a foreign wilderness, caught between two universes. Relating with the people I work with, my family, friends and lovers that I’m in relationship with, is becoming alien because I no longer exist as a fully concrete ‘Person’ with a personality bound by beliefs and opinions. Sometimes I feel like I’m just their reflection.
Ultimately no sense of separation between me and other should exist, but I still have a sense of separateness that can only be dissolved through full surrender to that which is behind, within and beside us all. The wave dissolving into its oceanness.
Once I give myself up, I know I’ll be taken care of. The Divine, The Beloved, God, The Source is within and without. When all melds into One, relating won’t be an issue – nothing will.
How to move into that final phase?
Sit in meditation more often and just BE with this feeling that starts as a soft buzzing. Then let the process go where it needs to go, do what it must do. Become familiar with it and trust it.
We are not ever given what we are not ready for.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
I did it...
Six consecutive mornings of full Primary practice this week. That marks an important psychological milestone in my approach to this practice.
Why am I so excited about this?
Why does it mean so much to me?
Firstly I’ve never managed to practice 6 mornings in a row since I started Ashtanga almost 3 years ago. I was even willing to count half practices and even quarter practices if it meant chalking up 6 days in a row – but even with that concession, I never made it.
Secondly I don’t remember being able to do a full Primary practice (the kind where you do every pose fully and in correct order, with no cheating) more than 3 times in any given week. Three full Primary practices somehow got lodged into my brain as the physical maximum I could safely do without destabilising the rest of my life. On the occasional (but rare) week when I did manage to chalk up 5 morning practices in one week, I would have done Darren’s led Iyengar class and stuggled through at least one other practice giving up part way through and laying over a bolster.
So this past week was exceptional. Suddenly I’ve accelerated to light speed for the first time and entered the legendary parallel dimension of authentic Ashtanga practice.
And I’m astounded at how easy it came. Not even the increasing pain in my hip dampened the desire to get up at 5am and onto the mat every morning this week. And not only did I GET to the mat, but I also worked consistently to the edges of my comfort zone.
I hope the compassionate Almighty will forgive me for being so excited about this.
It’s inspiring. (And how weird that I’m inspiring myself). Finally I’m living it and doing it.
My faith and a commitment to this amazing morning practice has escalated.
But back to the million dollar question that is bugging me.
Why does it mean so much to me to have practised for 6 consecutive mornings?
This is an interesting question to reflect on considering that my motivation for studying and practising Yoga (in its greater meaning) is a spiritual one. Developing a solid, daily asana practice is beneficial but not a high priority in the overall scheme.
But Ashtanga…is magic. What makes it so much more than just asana?
Perhaps I’m unknowingly addicted to its effect on me.
What is it about this practice that lifts one far above the mundane and into the spiritual supersphere? It’s demanding, it’s confronting, it’s purifying. And let’s face it, an Iyengar practice just doesn’t come close to this (although the Iyengar practice is useful in a different context).
I wonder, I ponder. Then I realise that all this questioning is no more than citta vritti.
Just do the practice, 6 days a week. Enjoy every moment. And All will come.
Friday Led Practice
This morning’s led practice –Day 6 in my record-breaking week (must reinforce that so I don’t forget) – topped off the week perfectly. It wasn’t a PURE Primary practice, nor was it too unorthodox (as David occasionally is).
A couple of slow motion tai ch’i warm ups, then Surya Namaskars, all the standing poses from an extra wide stance, apparently to work into the outer hip area, trio of Paschimottanasanas, Purvottanasana, then fast forward to Baddha Konasana and all the following poses up to Urdhva Mukha Paschimottanasana with a Chakrasana in between every pose. More than half the class couldn’t do Chakrasana so they just rolled to the side and sat up before doing the vinyasa back to Dandasana.
Then it was Setu Bandhasana without lifting up onto the front of the head, followed by Setu Bandha Sarvangasana (Bridge Pose). David gave us a nice instruction in this pose which is worth mentioning: we held onto our ankles, making sure the little finger was firmly gripping the ankles, raised our hips then took the focus to pulling with the little finger and pressing the elbows firmly into the floor. These two points really helped to connect with the correct movement of the shoulderblades down and in. I’m not overly intimate with my shoulderblades, them things on my back being in the unfamiliar region of upper back body – my attention is habitually drawn to the lumbar or front hips in the backbends unless I’m prodded elsewhere.
Then a different take on the finishing sequence: we did all the poses from Shoulderstand through to Pindasana with a FULL VINYASA in between each pose. That means we started from Samasthithi, did 6 vinyasas then jumped through to sitting, laid down and lifted up inyo Shoulderstand, held it for 10 breaths, did Chakrasana (or rolled to the side) then vinyasad all the way back up to Samasthithi. Repeated this for all the other poses but only held them for 5 breaths. Chakrasana got really fluid and easy because the back of my neck was already softened from the jalandhara bandha in each of the inversions. David said we can do it this way (full vinyasas between all the finishing poses) when we’ve got three and a half hours to practice. Sure thing.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Monday 3rd April 2006
Something beautiful happens when I consciously open up to receive the feeling of divine presence.
A soft electrical buzzing permeates all my nerves and nadis, my solidity begins to break up and the frequency that my physical mass resonates at starts to speed up. I become lighter, less solid, expanding.
It actually feels like the electrical energy that softly courses through my body is working to loosen, neutralise and dissolve a lifetime of blockages held in my body.
Sitting still, with the body dissolving into a higher vibration, there is an equally strong sense of purification of the mental and emotional layers, as if the illusions, ignorance and beliefs that belong to my lower self are being raised up from the dead and dissolved in the light.
It’s hard to describe, but it’s a very physical sensation, and tuning into it requires much more subtle and refined receptors than what we normally walk around with.
Sitting in this altered state and cultivating it is the key to moving my practice to the next level. Not only cultivating it, but surrendering to it and allowing it the freedom to escalate.
It’s a powerful force, this divine intervention, and I sense it will annihilate “Me” when I can eventually surrender fully to it. On a superficial level, I would love to take the next step and fully give way, to empty out all my contents and let it fill me up so that all trace of ‘I’ disappears forever. But I sense at a deeper level, what’s left of ‘Me’ is still hesitant (otherwise it would have happened).
Having worked away for many years to dissolve my Ego (that sense of who “I” am), I now find myself stranded in a foreign wilderness, caught between two universes. Relating with the people I work with, my family, friends and lovers that I’m in relationship with, is becoming alien because I no longer exist as a fully concrete ‘Person’ with a personality bound by beliefs and opinions. Sometimes I feel like I’m just their reflection.
Ultimately no sense of separation between me and other should exist, but I still have a sense of separateness that can only be dissolved through full surrender to that which is behind, within and beside us all. The wave dissolving into its oceanness.
Once I give myself up, I know I’ll be taken care of. The Divine, The Beloved, God, The Source is within and without. When all melds into One, relating won’t be an issue – nothing will.
How to move into that final phase?
Sit in meditation more often and just BE with this feeling that starts as a soft buzzing. Then let the process go where it needs to go, do what it must do. Become familiar with it and trust it.
We are not ever given what we are not ready for.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
