Tuesday 14th June 2005
Bushwalking my favourite uphill track two days in a row lifted my spirits and general attitude to life. The fresh, pure air seems to blow away stagnant energy and stagnant thoughts. It moves and motivates me when I feel inert.
So with increased vitality, I had a fairly strong practice today. Well, as strong as it could be while rehabilitating.
I did all 10 Surja Namaskars, still stepping rather than jumping just to be on the safe side. Great set of strong standing poses followed by three failed attempts at balancing in handstand (it’s been a while) then I got curious and gave the forward bends a go. Haven’t been able to do them for over 2 weeks now with this bulging lumbar disc.
Paschimottanasana was touch and go – I was trying to stay fairly upright working more internally with the bandhas to protect my lower back but after a few breaths it was feeling a bit strained. A long hold in Purvottanasana was pure relief– I love/hate this pose but when I get mulabandha happening in it, the energy travels up the front of my spine like a current going through a fine wire.
Ardha Baddha Paschimottanasana and Triang were similar to Paschimottanasana in that I had to stay upright and keep my lumbar almost in a backbend. I went straight to Marichy A, completely forgetting to do the Janu Sirsasana trio– the forward bend in Marichy A puts a lot more stress on the spine than the preceding poses which was the discovery of the day. The subtle differences and effects of the forward bends on the lumbar area are much clearer to me now. Nothing like the sensitivity of an injured area to give you an experiential understanding of how a pose effects your anatomy and physiology. Great lessons are learned from injuries.
I did an upright Baddha Konasana then Upavista Konasana, one of my favourites and I followed the urge to move fully into this pose, legs spread and bending forward. It was surprisingly OK. Really strong leg action (and bandhas of course) is the key to this pose as the legs need to provide a firm support so the pelvis can release and rotate forward, protecting the lower spine.
Backbend prep Setu Bandha Sarvangasana, a few good Urdhva Dhs then the full finishing sequence minus Karna Pindasana and Pindasana which both curve the lumbar too much at the moment.
Lately, since I’ve had to cut out the forward bends and shorten the practice, I’ve been doing some meditation afterwards, and I’ve noticed that Sirsasana has quite a stimulating effect on the brain. Meditation illuminates and magnifies what’s going on in the inner world and watching this inner activity, my brain’s felt like it’s been electrocuted by Sirsasana.
I now remember realising this very same thing when I was on a Vipassana retreat quite a while ago: I got the stupid idea of doing Sirsasana in the late afternoon tea break and trying to increase the time by a minute every day. I remember getting up to about 13 minutes or so, coming out of the Headstand and just freaking out from the head implosion that lasted for hours. Meditation was shot for the rest of the night.
Iyengar sequencing usually inserts Sirsasana in the middle of a practice, after the standing poses. It’s a kind of prelude to the floor work. I don’t like generally like to alter the Ashtanga sequence, but on days when I want to sit after asana, it may be better to leave out Sirsasana. There’s not much point trying to sit when you brain’s fried and your mind’s zapping itself into starry spasms.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Sunday 12th June 2005
Blogging and Svadhyaya
Failed miserably in my attempt to add a comments bar to my blog posts.
But no matter, the email address is there.
I've received a grand total of three emails since starting this blog 18 months ago, so I'm really curious to know if anyone actually reads it.
Not that it makes any difference. I think I have two main reasons for writing:
The first is to record my experiences so that I can look back on what I've been through and where I've come from so the purpose and direction of travelling can be seen more clearly.
The second and more important one for me is svadhyaya: self study and self reflection on issues that come up in the practice and the journey.
Writing really clarifies and crystallises all my fuzzy thinking, and in the trappings of a busy life, it helps to keep a higher level of consciousness at the forefront of my thoughts and activities.
"Svadhyaya brings inner communion: From self-study and reflection on sacred words, one attains contact, communion, or concert with that underlying natural reality or force towards which one is predisposed."
With each of the Yamas and Niyamas, cultivating opposites of our negative habits or conditionings brings positive fruits (Yoga Sutras 2.33, 2.34).
In the case of the self-study of svadhyaya, one might have the inclination away from inner reflection and study of teachings, so as to focus on attaining what one wants in the worldly sense. In cultivating the opposite, or reminding oneself that such behaviors, words, or thinking will only bring personal misery and suffering, the ensuing letting go process allows a natural contact, communion with the higher reality or force towards which one is drawn.
I'm writing and contemplating a lot more lately, and really enjoying both the process and benefits, but most of my rambling doesn't get posted here because editing it all can be quite time consuming.
Teaching Yoga
Again the choice of whether to return to teaching yoga or not is looming ominously as a major life decision (feeling of déjà vu happening here).
I’ve been 50/50 about this one since I got back from retreat. Sometimes I’ve been 30/70 one way (usually to the negative). I haven’t once felt 100 percent sure that I want to reorganise my life to accommodate the demands of teaching yoga again.
The “I”, or small self-absorbed ego-self, is doing a lot of the thinking and talking about the dilemma, and this “I” is my Little Mind, full of fears, doubts and desires. But it seems that the compelling push to teach again is coming from Big Mind: the Divine urge to realise my highest potential and express it in my life.
Little Mind is putting up a lot of resistance to the prospect of teaching yoga again and finding all the arguments it possibly can to avoid giving up the easy life. Little Mind sees what it will lose (leisure time, freedom, safety etc...).
Big Mind sees what is to gain (greater purpose, connectedness, personal growth, the opportunity to love and help others, benefit humankind etc…).
For my own sanity I’m going to list all the practical pros and cons, and all the emotional reasons for and against (many of them unreasonable) in an attempt to get some kind of balanced perspective and clarity on the issue.
But not tonight.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Bushwalking my favourite uphill track two days in a row lifted my spirits and general attitude to life. The fresh, pure air seems to blow away stagnant energy and stagnant thoughts. It moves and motivates me when I feel inert.
So with increased vitality, I had a fairly strong practice today. Well, as strong as it could be while rehabilitating.
I did all 10 Surja Namaskars, still stepping rather than jumping just to be on the safe side. Great set of strong standing poses followed by three failed attempts at balancing in handstand (it’s been a while) then I got curious and gave the forward bends a go. Haven’t been able to do them for over 2 weeks now with this bulging lumbar disc.
Paschimottanasana was touch and go – I was trying to stay fairly upright working more internally with the bandhas to protect my lower back but after a few breaths it was feeling a bit strained. A long hold in Purvottanasana was pure relief– I love/hate this pose but when I get mulabandha happening in it, the energy travels up the front of my spine like a current going through a fine wire.
Ardha Baddha Paschimottanasana and Triang were similar to Paschimottanasana in that I had to stay upright and keep my lumbar almost in a backbend. I went straight to Marichy A, completely forgetting to do the Janu Sirsasana trio– the forward bend in Marichy A puts a lot more stress on the spine than the preceding poses which was the discovery of the day. The subtle differences and effects of the forward bends on the lumbar area are much clearer to me now. Nothing like the sensitivity of an injured area to give you an experiential understanding of how a pose effects your anatomy and physiology. Great lessons are learned from injuries.
I did an upright Baddha Konasana then Upavista Konasana, one of my favourites and I followed the urge to move fully into this pose, legs spread and bending forward. It was surprisingly OK. Really strong leg action (and bandhas of course) is the key to this pose as the legs need to provide a firm support so the pelvis can release and rotate forward, protecting the lower spine.
Backbend prep Setu Bandha Sarvangasana, a few good Urdhva Dhs then the full finishing sequence minus Karna Pindasana and Pindasana which both curve the lumbar too much at the moment.
Lately, since I’ve had to cut out the forward bends and shorten the practice, I’ve been doing some meditation afterwards, and I’ve noticed that Sirsasana has quite a stimulating effect on the brain. Meditation illuminates and magnifies what’s going on in the inner world and watching this inner activity, my brain’s felt like it’s been electrocuted by Sirsasana.
I now remember realising this very same thing when I was on a Vipassana retreat quite a while ago: I got the stupid idea of doing Sirsasana in the late afternoon tea break and trying to increase the time by a minute every day. I remember getting up to about 13 minutes or so, coming out of the Headstand and just freaking out from the head implosion that lasted for hours. Meditation was shot for the rest of the night.
Iyengar sequencing usually inserts Sirsasana in the middle of a practice, after the standing poses. It’s a kind of prelude to the floor work. I don’t like generally like to alter the Ashtanga sequence, but on days when I want to sit after asana, it may be better to leave out Sirsasana. There’s not much point trying to sit when you brain’s fried and your mind’s zapping itself into starry spasms.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Sunday 12th June 2005
Blogging and Svadhyaya
Failed miserably in my attempt to add a comments bar to my blog posts.
But no matter, the email address is there.
I've received a grand total of three emails since starting this blog 18 months ago, so I'm really curious to know if anyone actually reads it.
Not that it makes any difference. I think I have two main reasons for writing:
The first is to record my experiences so that I can look back on what I've been through and where I've come from so the purpose and direction of travelling can be seen more clearly.
The second and more important one for me is svadhyaya: self study and self reflection on issues that come up in the practice and the journey.
Writing really clarifies and crystallises all my fuzzy thinking, and in the trappings of a busy life, it helps to keep a higher level of consciousness at the forefront of my thoughts and activities.
"Svadhyaya brings inner communion: From self-study and reflection on sacred words, one attains contact, communion, or concert with that underlying natural reality or force towards which one is predisposed."
With each of the Yamas and Niyamas, cultivating opposites of our negative habits or conditionings brings positive fruits (Yoga Sutras 2.33, 2.34).
In the case of the self-study of svadhyaya, one might have the inclination away from inner reflection and study of teachings, so as to focus on attaining what one wants in the worldly sense. In cultivating the opposite, or reminding oneself that such behaviors, words, or thinking will only bring personal misery and suffering, the ensuing letting go process allows a natural contact, communion with the higher reality or force towards which one is drawn.
I'm writing and contemplating a lot more lately, and really enjoying both the process and benefits, but most of my rambling doesn't get posted here because editing it all can be quite time consuming.
Teaching Yoga
Again the choice of whether to return to teaching yoga or not is looming ominously as a major life decision (feeling of déjà vu happening here).
I’ve been 50/50 about this one since I got back from retreat. Sometimes I’ve been 30/70 one way (usually to the negative). I haven’t once felt 100 percent sure that I want to reorganise my life to accommodate the demands of teaching yoga again.
The “I”, or small self-absorbed ego-self, is doing a lot of the thinking and talking about the dilemma, and this “I” is my Little Mind, full of fears, doubts and desires. But it seems that the compelling push to teach again is coming from Big Mind: the Divine urge to realise my highest potential and express it in my life.
Little Mind is putting up a lot of resistance to the prospect of teaching yoga again and finding all the arguments it possibly can to avoid giving up the easy life. Little Mind sees what it will lose (leisure time, freedom, safety etc...).
Big Mind sees what is to gain (greater purpose, connectedness, personal growth, the opportunity to love and help others, benefit humankind etc…).
For my own sanity I’m going to list all the practical pros and cons, and all the emotional reasons for and against (many of them unreasonable) in an attempt to get some kind of balanced perspective and clarity on the issue.
But not tonight.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
