Tuesday 19th April 2005
Just finished my final practice for 2 weeks. I head off for 10 days of service at the Vipassana retreat at lunchtime today. Drinking my final coffee for a while too – it’s like being read your last rites!
Practice was slow, laboured and a bit of an effort today thanks to indulging my love of sweet foods over the past few days. The impending retreat was a great justification for each croissant, each piece of baklava, each coffee. I paid dearly for this in practice today. It was excruciating. The effort required to maintain focus in the midst of torture was enormous and after a while I just couldn’t be bothered anymore.
We all started the Surja Namaskars together but my pace was so slow that I ended up way behind and had one more Surja B to do as they all went into Padangusthasana.
Unable to engage Mulabandha I felt helpless – I kept trying, the intention was there, but there was no response from my body, apart from a few fleeting moments. It did come like a gift from heaven in Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana, probably because Kosta was directly facing me, and with our mats quite close today I was more than aware of him skimming over this pose, not holding it strongly – I think he only stays in the final no-hands-hold for a breath or two. These poses we avoid engaging in are always the push button poses that we most need to face up to with courage and conviction – the effort to overcome avoidance and the commitment to stay and work at it are the lessons we learn on the mat that transform our patterns of thinking and empower us to overcome our perceived limitations – for me there’s quite a few of these poses, the nose to floor part of Bhujangasana being one that springs to mind first.
Anyway, as Kosta skimmed over Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana, I picked up the slack and held it strongly for a long deep full count, perfectly controlling even the final one-breath-head-to-knee-forward-bend and holding the leg up with the deep supportive help of Mulabandha for all five breaths. (Kosta in return does a strong Bhujangasana).
After peaking early in Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana I pretty much skimmed over the rest of the practice, struggling to summon up the strength to keep going. Got to Marichy B before I gave it in. Then it was freeform time to finish out the time left, and an assortment of forward bends, backbends and inversions, not in any logical order, including Ustrasana and Parivritta Upavista Konasana, and finishing the practice with a long Baddha Padmasana first with hands holding feet, then holding elbows, then in reverse prayer position.
Well, my final coffee’s been drunk, it’s time to get moving, go shopping to fill the fridge for my son, finish packing, then I’m off - a one and a half hour drive to the retreat center, to another timezone, another world, a timeless, silent place that exists quietly in-between, far, far away.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Just finished my final practice for 2 weeks. I head off for 10 days of service at the Vipassana retreat at lunchtime today. Drinking my final coffee for a while too – it’s like being read your last rites!
Practice was slow, laboured and a bit of an effort today thanks to indulging my love of sweet foods over the past few days. The impending retreat was a great justification for each croissant, each piece of baklava, each coffee. I paid dearly for this in practice today. It was excruciating. The effort required to maintain focus in the midst of torture was enormous and after a while I just couldn’t be bothered anymore.
We all started the Surja Namaskars together but my pace was so slow that I ended up way behind and had one more Surja B to do as they all went into Padangusthasana.
Unable to engage Mulabandha I felt helpless – I kept trying, the intention was there, but there was no response from my body, apart from a few fleeting moments. It did come like a gift from heaven in Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana, probably because Kosta was directly facing me, and with our mats quite close today I was more than aware of him skimming over this pose, not holding it strongly – I think he only stays in the final no-hands-hold for a breath or two. These poses we avoid engaging in are always the push button poses that we most need to face up to with courage and conviction – the effort to overcome avoidance and the commitment to stay and work at it are the lessons we learn on the mat that transform our patterns of thinking and empower us to overcome our perceived limitations – for me there’s quite a few of these poses, the nose to floor part of Bhujangasana being one that springs to mind first.
Anyway, as Kosta skimmed over Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana, I picked up the slack and held it strongly for a long deep full count, perfectly controlling even the final one-breath-head-to-knee-forward-bend and holding the leg up with the deep supportive help of Mulabandha for all five breaths. (Kosta in return does a strong Bhujangasana).
After peaking early in Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana I pretty much skimmed over the rest of the practice, struggling to summon up the strength to keep going. Got to Marichy B before I gave it in. Then it was freeform time to finish out the time left, and an assortment of forward bends, backbends and inversions, not in any logical order, including Ustrasana and Parivritta Upavista Konasana, and finishing the practice with a long Baddha Padmasana first with hands holding feet, then holding elbows, then in reverse prayer position.
Well, my final coffee’s been drunk, it’s time to get moving, go shopping to fill the fridge for my son, finish packing, then I’m off - a one and a half hour drive to the retreat center, to another timezone, another world, a timeless, silent place that exists quietly in-between, far, far away.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Friday 15th April
Random Thoughts on Teaching
Well this definitely feels like a period of endings and beginnings.
Last night I taught my final Thursday night class at Rebecca’s yoga studio and tomorrow I’ll teach my last Saturday class there.
Next Tuesday I head off for 10 days of solitude and doing service at the Vipassana retreat, sitting part of the course and doing kitchen duty for the rest of it.
As it often does, the Vipassana heralds a clear break between what I’ve been doing up til now and my vision for a new beginning, the natural cycle of death and rebirth. A Vipassana retreat is the negative space between two shapes, the pregnant pause between two breaths.
When I return, it will be the start of May, and although I return to my full time job, it will be a month of no yoga teaching, a month of increasing and deepening my own practice, a month of reflection, internalisation and planning where to go from here with both my yoga practice and my teaching.
New possibilities always feel so exciting.
Last night’s class dispelled any doubts I’ve been having about my value as a teacher.
I’ve built up a very established group of 8-12 regulars, and I wanted to make the last class special and a little different for them, so I’d planned to lead them through an abridged Ashtanga sequence, bringing a lot more focus on continually moving and flowing with the breath, a fiery culmination to their time with me, sort of like the last big bangs of a fireworks show.
I’ve been teaching at the studio in the Iyengar style, being careful not to bring in elements of Ashtanga as I have great respect for the correct way of teaching/learning Ashtanga.
But for this class I really wanted to challenge and inspire them with this beautiful form of yoga. True to form, four new people turned up for the class, one of them a 60 year old funny little man, and I had to decide whether to proceed with my plan. I did…and pulled it off with great panache and sensitivity, giving lots of alternatives for those who were less advanced but still keeping a sense of flow from beginning to end.
At the start of the class the students came in and set themselves up in Supta Baddha Konasana over bolsters which is the usual ritual. When I asked them to come up, Rebecca came into the class with an enormous bunch of flowers and gave a lovely farewell sort of speech. It was a complete surprise and the response from the students was overwhelming. They expressed mass grief at losing me as their teacher and I could empathise with them, having experienced the same loss myself. Teachers are not supposed to leave you!
After that the class took flight and I had such a great time with them.
At the end, after they rose from Savasana, I did something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time. I spoke from my heart about the spiritual journey. I really wanted to leave them with something to inspire them on their journey. I spoke of our searching, the questions we ask in moments of deep reflection such as who are we, what is our purpose, is there a purpose, why do things happen in our life, is there a meaning behind it all. These are the BIG questions and most people believe they are too big to even contemplate, that there are no answers, that there is no beginning or end to such questions. I reassured them that they must ask these questions with all their heart and not give up, that they will be led to the answers if they genuinely want to find them, that there is one Truth behind our individual lives and all of creation but many ways to discover it. We are meant to discover/uncover it, and the path of yoga provides a map.
That was my parting gift to my students last night and I felt elated at finally finding my true teaching voice.
So having expressed such things in a teaching situation, I now feel inspired to teach more about the spiritual path. I don’t think I can continue to teach asana alone and out of its greater context any more. So many people are looking for something else, something real that can bring a greater meaning into their lives. Initially they are drawn to yoga for unknown or superficial reasons, but a good teacher can gently guide people to begin asking the questions that will transform their lives forever. Is it conceivable that I could do this? Do I really have the confidence and teaching skills to tap into the soul longing that is deep in people’s hearts and nurture it out into the open?
My own confidence and self-belief waxes and wanes as I myself oscillate in and out of that joyful state of exalted union with the creator. My teaching over the past couple of years has often reflected this struggle to overcome the inadequacies of my small self and maintain my connection with the creator where my small self dissolves into no-self and I become a vehicle for the expression of universal truths.
Simi’s Led Primary Class
I chose to go to Simi’s led Primary class this morning instead of Darren’s led Iyengar class, just because I’ve missed her inspirational energy so much over the last 9 months.
It started with everyone seated and chanting Om, then Simi encouraged us to sing along with her some Sanskrit songs which I don’t know. I just listened at first then meekly hummed along when the repetative tune started to sound familiar. Simi’s exuberance and joy spills out into song which is quite lovely, but I’m much more reserved by nature so devotional singing doesn’t come naturally to me. It didn’t feel right to sing, but it didn’t feel right to sit in Padmasana like a lump of stone either. Didn’t quite find a happy medium there, but no matter…after a very long 10 minutes, the singing came to an end and we started the practice.
A small liberty that Simi takes with led Primary is to hold us for 5 breaths in Upward Dog Pose in the first Suryanamaskar A, for 4 breaths in the second, 3 breaths in the third, 2 breaths in the fourth and one breath in the last one. It’s a slightly more intense, and slower start to the practice, especially if you’re not feeling too warm and bendy.
And then, Praise the Lord, most people did Surjanamaskar B just like me! So folks, I’m not stuck in the dark ages with an ancient version.
We also did Samakonasana and Hanumanasana after the Prasarittas which I usually do in my practice. A couple of other additions today were
- jumping back to Samasthithi after each of the four Prasarittas
- Trivikramasana after Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana
- Bakasana after Utkatasana
- No vinyasa between Paschimottanasana and Purvottanasana
We got quadruple time in Supta Kurmasana as Simi split the class in half and endeavoured to get everyone on my side bound with legs crossed. The other half (all of them guys by coincidence) she sent to the wall to do something like a wide legged Uttanasana (forward bend) with their arms through the inside of the legs and connecting the hands with a strap, similar I guess to a standing version of Kurmasana with bound hands.
I totally messed up my chances in Garbha Pindasana again, even though I’d oiled up my arms before practice. Somehow I just wasn’t quick enough off the mark to get the water bottle and do the whole spraying ritual. I made the initial wrong decision to just wrap my arms around my Padmasana legs, then reversed my decision and tried to push my arms through my legs without hitching up my pants which just didn’t work. I remember Simi once saying that skin and fabric just don’t slide…you have to get bare skin on bare skin or else fabric on fabric. What was I thinking? When I realised it was useless, I hitched up my pants, grabbed the water bottle and sprayed my arms but by that time everyone had done their rolling around and it was Kukkutasana time, so I gave up on the idea of rolling around and skipped it altogether.
Simi gave me some help with a couple of dropbacks but the people either side of me were dropping back and coming up like there was no tomorrow. She put me into Paschimottanasana and helped the other two with handstand dropbacks. I felt a twinge of jealousy. It’s been a long time since I got pushed over the edge of insanity with these. But my time will come again when I pick up my practice more seriously again from next month.
At the end of my stay in Headstand Simi gave me some light support to stay on balance so I could lift my head up off the floor into a variation of Pincha Mayurasana, holding it easily for 5 breaths. From there I lowered my head to the floor, stayed a few more breaths in Sirsasana, then lowered my legs into Ardha Sirsasana for 5 breaths, very conscious of doing it well as Simi was right next to me. Floating the legs back up to Headstand for one breath I was on my way back down again when I got the instruction to hover with my toes two inches off the floor, then raise the legs back up to vertical and repeat this 5 times. Great move in theory but I just wasn’t mentally prepared for it. After lowering my straight legs so the toes were two inches off the floor, my brain slipped into its hardwired groove and I touched down for Balasana, breaking the spell.
I was the last one to finish today and I noticed that those finishing before me all skipped Savasana. So I did too, otherwise I’d be laying in Savasana with only Simi in the room. I might be holding her up.
After packing up and paying up, we hugged and chatted a little.
I walked out into the city streets with glowing eyes, glowing skin, floating along a few inches above the pavement, every cell infused with a buoyant light energy. What a beautiful life…
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Monday 11th April
What did I ultimately get out of my short trip to Sydney?
I finally discovered and instantly fell in love with my boyfriend after all these years.
Now he’s in China. Sweet misery.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
Saturday 9th April 2005
My second day in Sydney
Managed to get to the 4pm led class at Yogamoves with Trevor, a very seasoned teacher, lithe, energetic, and a little skinny as many Ashtangi men seem to be.
A short conversation just before the class revealed that he’s become one of Shandor’s Shadow Yoga converts, but I didn’t pick up any the shadow stuff in his teaching.
The room was full (about 30 people) and today there were two rows of mats facing centre but barely enough room for everyone. Trevor led us through 3 Suryanamaskar A and 3 Bs, then the entire Primary series followed by Ustrasana, Shalabhasana A and B, Bhekasana, Dhanurasana, Parsva Dhanurasana, Setu Bhandasana, Urdhva Dhanurasana then the finishing sequence. All in one and a half hours if you can believe that.
Despite the big class, Trevor seemed to get around to everyone. I got adjusted in Triang Mukhaikapada and a nice adjustment on the second side of Marichyasana A where he grabbed under my right thigh from behind, asked if the hamstring was OK (I said yes with great delight after a long recovery time from my previous hamstring tear). He then proceeded to draw the hamstring flesh back while depressing my left back ribs forward and down.
I always feel a bit shortchanged getting adjusted on one side only because you get to go so deep on that side and the second side just doesn’t compare. It leaves an impression of imbalance in the body. But what the heck, in a big class you can’t be greedy and expect full attention, especially when the teacher doesn’t even know you.
The real highlight of this class was practising next to my boyfriend for the first time. In the five and a half years we’ve been together, we’ve never done a class or practiced together. He was my primary yoga teacher for a number of years, and I guess he felt it was inappropriate for teacher and student to practice together.
I wonder if this has finally shifted.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Random Thoughts on Teaching
Well this definitely feels like a period of endings and beginnings.
Last night I taught my final Thursday night class at Rebecca’s yoga studio and tomorrow I’ll teach my last Saturday class there.
Next Tuesday I head off for 10 days of solitude and doing service at the Vipassana retreat, sitting part of the course and doing kitchen duty for the rest of it.
As it often does, the Vipassana heralds a clear break between what I’ve been doing up til now and my vision for a new beginning, the natural cycle of death and rebirth. A Vipassana retreat is the negative space between two shapes, the pregnant pause between two breaths.
When I return, it will be the start of May, and although I return to my full time job, it will be a month of no yoga teaching, a month of increasing and deepening my own practice, a month of reflection, internalisation and planning where to go from here with both my yoga practice and my teaching.
New possibilities always feel so exciting.
Last night’s class dispelled any doubts I’ve been having about my value as a teacher.
I’ve built up a very established group of 8-12 regulars, and I wanted to make the last class special and a little different for them, so I’d planned to lead them through an abridged Ashtanga sequence, bringing a lot more focus on continually moving and flowing with the breath, a fiery culmination to their time with me, sort of like the last big bangs of a fireworks show.
I’ve been teaching at the studio in the Iyengar style, being careful not to bring in elements of Ashtanga as I have great respect for the correct way of teaching/learning Ashtanga.
But for this class I really wanted to challenge and inspire them with this beautiful form of yoga. True to form, four new people turned up for the class, one of them a 60 year old funny little man, and I had to decide whether to proceed with my plan. I did…and pulled it off with great panache and sensitivity, giving lots of alternatives for those who were less advanced but still keeping a sense of flow from beginning to end.
At the start of the class the students came in and set themselves up in Supta Baddha Konasana over bolsters which is the usual ritual. When I asked them to come up, Rebecca came into the class with an enormous bunch of flowers and gave a lovely farewell sort of speech. It was a complete surprise and the response from the students was overwhelming. They expressed mass grief at losing me as their teacher and I could empathise with them, having experienced the same loss myself. Teachers are not supposed to leave you!
After that the class took flight and I had such a great time with them.
At the end, after they rose from Savasana, I did something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time. I spoke from my heart about the spiritual journey. I really wanted to leave them with something to inspire them on their journey. I spoke of our searching, the questions we ask in moments of deep reflection such as who are we, what is our purpose, is there a purpose, why do things happen in our life, is there a meaning behind it all. These are the BIG questions and most people believe they are too big to even contemplate, that there are no answers, that there is no beginning or end to such questions. I reassured them that they must ask these questions with all their heart and not give up, that they will be led to the answers if they genuinely want to find them, that there is one Truth behind our individual lives and all of creation but many ways to discover it. We are meant to discover/uncover it, and the path of yoga provides a map.
That was my parting gift to my students last night and I felt elated at finally finding my true teaching voice.
So having expressed such things in a teaching situation, I now feel inspired to teach more about the spiritual path. I don’t think I can continue to teach asana alone and out of its greater context any more. So many people are looking for something else, something real that can bring a greater meaning into their lives. Initially they are drawn to yoga for unknown or superficial reasons, but a good teacher can gently guide people to begin asking the questions that will transform their lives forever. Is it conceivable that I could do this? Do I really have the confidence and teaching skills to tap into the soul longing that is deep in people’s hearts and nurture it out into the open?
My own confidence and self-belief waxes and wanes as I myself oscillate in and out of that joyful state of exalted union with the creator. My teaching over the past couple of years has often reflected this struggle to overcome the inadequacies of my small self and maintain my connection with the creator where my small self dissolves into no-self and I become a vehicle for the expression of universal truths.
Simi’s Led Primary Class
I chose to go to Simi’s led Primary class this morning instead of Darren’s led Iyengar class, just because I’ve missed her inspirational energy so much over the last 9 months.
It started with everyone seated and chanting Om, then Simi encouraged us to sing along with her some Sanskrit songs which I don’t know. I just listened at first then meekly hummed along when the repetative tune started to sound familiar. Simi’s exuberance and joy spills out into song which is quite lovely, but I’m much more reserved by nature so devotional singing doesn’t come naturally to me. It didn’t feel right to sing, but it didn’t feel right to sit in Padmasana like a lump of stone either. Didn’t quite find a happy medium there, but no matter…after a very long 10 minutes, the singing came to an end and we started the practice.
A small liberty that Simi takes with led Primary is to hold us for 5 breaths in Upward Dog Pose in the first Suryanamaskar A, for 4 breaths in the second, 3 breaths in the third, 2 breaths in the fourth and one breath in the last one. It’s a slightly more intense, and slower start to the practice, especially if you’re not feeling too warm and bendy.
And then, Praise the Lord, most people did Surjanamaskar B just like me! So folks, I’m not stuck in the dark ages with an ancient version.
We also did Samakonasana and Hanumanasana after the Prasarittas which I usually do in my practice. A couple of other additions today were
- jumping back to Samasthithi after each of the four Prasarittas
- Trivikramasana after Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana
- Bakasana after Utkatasana
- No vinyasa between Paschimottanasana and Purvottanasana
We got quadruple time in Supta Kurmasana as Simi split the class in half and endeavoured to get everyone on my side bound with legs crossed. The other half (all of them guys by coincidence) she sent to the wall to do something like a wide legged Uttanasana (forward bend) with their arms through the inside of the legs and connecting the hands with a strap, similar I guess to a standing version of Kurmasana with bound hands.
I totally messed up my chances in Garbha Pindasana again, even though I’d oiled up my arms before practice. Somehow I just wasn’t quick enough off the mark to get the water bottle and do the whole spraying ritual. I made the initial wrong decision to just wrap my arms around my Padmasana legs, then reversed my decision and tried to push my arms through my legs without hitching up my pants which just didn’t work. I remember Simi once saying that skin and fabric just don’t slide…you have to get bare skin on bare skin or else fabric on fabric. What was I thinking? When I realised it was useless, I hitched up my pants, grabbed the water bottle and sprayed my arms but by that time everyone had done their rolling around and it was Kukkutasana time, so I gave up on the idea of rolling around and skipped it altogether.
Simi gave me some help with a couple of dropbacks but the people either side of me were dropping back and coming up like there was no tomorrow. She put me into Paschimottanasana and helped the other two with handstand dropbacks. I felt a twinge of jealousy. It’s been a long time since I got pushed over the edge of insanity with these. But my time will come again when I pick up my practice more seriously again from next month.
At the end of my stay in Headstand Simi gave me some light support to stay on balance so I could lift my head up off the floor into a variation of Pincha Mayurasana, holding it easily for 5 breaths. From there I lowered my head to the floor, stayed a few more breaths in Sirsasana, then lowered my legs into Ardha Sirsasana for 5 breaths, very conscious of doing it well as Simi was right next to me. Floating the legs back up to Headstand for one breath I was on my way back down again when I got the instruction to hover with my toes two inches off the floor, then raise the legs back up to vertical and repeat this 5 times. Great move in theory but I just wasn’t mentally prepared for it. After lowering my straight legs so the toes were two inches off the floor, my brain slipped into its hardwired groove and I touched down for Balasana, breaking the spell.
I was the last one to finish today and I noticed that those finishing before me all skipped Savasana. So I did too, otherwise I’d be laying in Savasana with only Simi in the room. I might be holding her up.
After packing up and paying up, we hugged and chatted a little.
I walked out into the city streets with glowing eyes, glowing skin, floating along a few inches above the pavement, every cell infused with a buoyant light energy. What a beautiful life…
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Monday 11th April
What did I ultimately get out of my short trip to Sydney?
I finally discovered and instantly fell in love with my boyfriend after all these years.
Now he’s in China. Sweet misery.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
Saturday 9th April 2005
My second day in Sydney
Managed to get to the 4pm led class at Yogamoves with Trevor, a very seasoned teacher, lithe, energetic, and a little skinny as many Ashtangi men seem to be.
A short conversation just before the class revealed that he’s become one of Shandor’s Shadow Yoga converts, but I didn’t pick up any the shadow stuff in his teaching.
The room was full (about 30 people) and today there were two rows of mats facing centre but barely enough room for everyone. Trevor led us through 3 Suryanamaskar A and 3 Bs, then the entire Primary series followed by Ustrasana, Shalabhasana A and B, Bhekasana, Dhanurasana, Parsva Dhanurasana, Setu Bhandasana, Urdhva Dhanurasana then the finishing sequence. All in one and a half hours if you can believe that.
Despite the big class, Trevor seemed to get around to everyone. I got adjusted in Triang Mukhaikapada and a nice adjustment on the second side of Marichyasana A where he grabbed under my right thigh from behind, asked if the hamstring was OK (I said yes with great delight after a long recovery time from my previous hamstring tear). He then proceeded to draw the hamstring flesh back while depressing my left back ribs forward and down.
I always feel a bit shortchanged getting adjusted on one side only because you get to go so deep on that side and the second side just doesn’t compare. It leaves an impression of imbalance in the body. But what the heck, in a big class you can’t be greedy and expect full attention, especially when the teacher doesn’t even know you.
The real highlight of this class was practising next to my boyfriend for the first time. In the five and a half years we’ve been together, we’ve never done a class or practiced together. He was my primary yoga teacher for a number of years, and I guess he felt it was inappropriate for teacher and student to practice together.
I wonder if this has finally shifted.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Friday 8th April 2005
Had to get up at 4.30am this morning to catch the 6.10am sunrise flight to Sydney – my first time in a plane for 24 years and my first trip to Sydney. Despite only being here until Monday (3 days) with my boyfriend, I arranged to squeeze in at least one class at Yogamoves.
To get there we caught a train from North Sydney over the Sydney Harbour bridge into the city centre; then it was a 30 minute sprint to get to the shala on time by 4.30pm for the afternoon Mysore class with Eileen Hall. Silly me – being a Mysore class I could have started any time between 4.30 and 5.30pm - we didn’t have to sprint after all.
I got pretty revved up and warm racing through the city with my bag and mat in tow, so by the time I got there my feet were hot and smelly. Yikes, I took off my shoes in front of the Buddha at the top of the shala stairs and my feet were almost black– the sweat/dye alchemy had patchworked my feet. I apologised to the Buddha. Entering what I thought was a toilet with the possible intention of washing my feet in it, by sheer fluke it turned out to be a shower, so I vainly tried to scrub off as much of the dye as I could and then took a few minutes to calm my nerves before venturing back out to the main room.
The mats here are placed so that you’re facing the front of the room which felt a bit strange at first - at Simi’s we line up our mats in two rows that face towards centre so you look at the person opposite you. Being an outsider, I chose an unassuming spot next to the wall, unrolled my mat and joined in the universal opening chant along with about 10 others and moved into the Surya Namasakars. Over the next hour about another 10 people trickled in.
This was my first experience at an afternoon Mysore session, not the most ideal time for practice, but yogis living in the 21st century can’t always manage a pre-sunrise practice. Early mornings are infinitely better for yoga and spiritual practice. You’re fresh, your stomach is empty, the body isn’t burdened with digesting inappropriate foodstuffs (unless you were naughty and ate late the night before), your nervous system is rested; but more importantly I think is that your mind is unpolluted by the distractions of the day so it more clearly reveals what is beneath the surface. As the day wears on, all our physical, mental and emotional coping mechanisms are mobilised on full alert to get us through another day in the midst of consumer society: working, shopping, mass media bombardment, chemical infused and gene manipulated food, polluted air and water, radio waves, micro waves, mobile phones... It’s no wonder that we often come to the yoga mat exhausted, with little energy left to work on ourselves with the conviction to really change. Early morning practice is invaluable for setting a meditative and reflective spiritual intention for the rest of the day.
My Surya Bs marked me as a foreigner today. They’re a little different to what seems to be the currently accepted form. I’ve been doing them as I was taught, but they may be taught differently now.
I start and finish every Surya B with my hands in Anjali Mudra (prayer position at the heart centre), then squat and extend my arms forward to touch the earth with my fingers (which invokes a humble, thank-you-earth kind of feeling), then as I rise to Utkatasana on the inhale, my arms trace a wide outer circle as if gathering the energy of the universe, and my hands come together at the pinnacle of Utkatasana, containing and compressing this energy between my palms. This is an amazing position, very powerful. The body resembles a lightning rod, a conductor of energy from sky to earth. As I fold forward to Uttanasana, I bring my hands down the centreline, passing my face, my heart and my solar plexus, until they naturally peel apart at the last moment and reconnect with the earth. This arm movement mirrors that of Surya Namasakar A, so it feels like there’s a familiar connection between them.
Everyone else in the room did it the other way, where your arms remain extended out in front as you rise up to Utkatasana (ekam), then they trace the wide circle out and down as you swan dive into Uttanasana (dve).
So now I’m wondering if there is a ‘correct’ way and if so, why so? Does it come down to personal preference, or is it fashion, or is it how you were originally taught, or is it however Guruji is teaching it now….
Whatever the consensus, I’ll probably just keep on doing my version until I get told otherwise.
Insufficient sleep, insufficient food, new city buzzy-brain, new shala nerves, the novelty of an afternoon practice and pre-menstrual psychosomatic insanity all resulted in dissipated energy and zero internal focus, but I managed to get through all of primary series without copping out and got some good, deep adjustments from Eileen in Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana, Marichy A and D, Baddha Konasana (she stepped up onto my thighs). The water bottle I spotted at the start of the session had disappeared by the time I got to Garbha Pindasana so I had to rely on sweat alone to get my arms through and couldn’t get them as far as usual, so my roll around was pretty insipid and came to a standstill about half way round. Eileen’s assistant Paul got my feet crossed behind my head in Supta Kurmasana (he deserves a medal for that effort – they were so slippery and yuk, so black still).
I finished with two long holds in Urdhva Dhanurasana, 8 long breaths in each, walking my hands in to deepen the backbend both times. I was hoping Eileen or Paul would come over and make me do some dropbacks but they didn’t so I opted out of them today. Eileen did the Paschimottanasana crush on me then whispered to go to the back of the room for the finishing sequence. Good thing she did as I hadn’t noticed people were doing this. I would have just continued on where I was and megabroadcast my foreign status and total ignorance to everyone. (At Simi’s we stay in the same spot for the entire series).
I went to the back – no teachers here. It felt a bit like when you tell an Iyengar teacher you’re menstruating and you get banished to the corner and treated like an invalid on sloppy food.
I find it quite an interruption to the flow of my practice when I have to get up and move my mat somewhere else. Doing the finishing inversions in another space must be a recent tradition which emerged from lack of space in the Indian shalas.
After a very brief chat with Eileen, I met up with my boyfriend and we went off for an exquisite Indian meal just down the road from the shala (can highly recommend Tandoori House if you’re visiting).
Practising at another shala has made me even more appreciative of my home town teachers Simi and David. Their shala is imbued with a sense of the spiritual. It’s a divinely sacred space to practice in which is a credit to Simi. She embodies all that is grace, Love and light.
“One who is aware of the divine perfection becomes a source of tremendous power and light and joy and peace and radiance.”
For me this is Simi.
We are very lucky to have her teaching here in Adelaide and I‘m sooo looking forward to getting back to a more regular attendance at her morning Mysore classes when I get back from the 10 day Vipassana retreat at the end of April.
But in the meantime here I am in SYDNEY. Tomorrow I’ll try for the 4pm led class with Trevor at Yogamoves in between our sightseeing.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Had to get up at 4.30am this morning to catch the 6.10am sunrise flight to Sydney – my first time in a plane for 24 years and my first trip to Sydney. Despite only being here until Monday (3 days) with my boyfriend, I arranged to squeeze in at least one class at Yogamoves.
To get there we caught a train from North Sydney over the Sydney Harbour bridge into the city centre; then it was a 30 minute sprint to get to the shala on time by 4.30pm for the afternoon Mysore class with Eileen Hall. Silly me – being a Mysore class I could have started any time between 4.30 and 5.30pm - we didn’t have to sprint after all.
I got pretty revved up and warm racing through the city with my bag and mat in tow, so by the time I got there my feet were hot and smelly. Yikes, I took off my shoes in front of the Buddha at the top of the shala stairs and my feet were almost black– the sweat/dye alchemy had patchworked my feet. I apologised to the Buddha. Entering what I thought was a toilet with the possible intention of washing my feet in it, by sheer fluke it turned out to be a shower, so I vainly tried to scrub off as much of the dye as I could and then took a few minutes to calm my nerves before venturing back out to the main room.
The mats here are placed so that you’re facing the front of the room which felt a bit strange at first - at Simi’s we line up our mats in two rows that face towards centre so you look at the person opposite you. Being an outsider, I chose an unassuming spot next to the wall, unrolled my mat and joined in the universal opening chant along with about 10 others and moved into the Surya Namasakars. Over the next hour about another 10 people trickled in.
This was my first experience at an afternoon Mysore session, not the most ideal time for practice, but yogis living in the 21st century can’t always manage a pre-sunrise practice. Early mornings are infinitely better for yoga and spiritual practice. You’re fresh, your stomach is empty, the body isn’t burdened with digesting inappropriate foodstuffs (unless you were naughty and ate late the night before), your nervous system is rested; but more importantly I think is that your mind is unpolluted by the distractions of the day so it more clearly reveals what is beneath the surface. As the day wears on, all our physical, mental and emotional coping mechanisms are mobilised on full alert to get us through another day in the midst of consumer society: working, shopping, mass media bombardment, chemical infused and gene manipulated food, polluted air and water, radio waves, micro waves, mobile phones... It’s no wonder that we often come to the yoga mat exhausted, with little energy left to work on ourselves with the conviction to really change. Early morning practice is invaluable for setting a meditative and reflective spiritual intention for the rest of the day.
My Surya Bs marked me as a foreigner today. They’re a little different to what seems to be the currently accepted form. I’ve been doing them as I was taught, but they may be taught differently now.
I start and finish every Surya B with my hands in Anjali Mudra (prayer position at the heart centre), then squat and extend my arms forward to touch the earth with my fingers (which invokes a humble, thank-you-earth kind of feeling), then as I rise to Utkatasana on the inhale, my arms trace a wide outer circle as if gathering the energy of the universe, and my hands come together at the pinnacle of Utkatasana, containing and compressing this energy between my palms. This is an amazing position, very powerful. The body resembles a lightning rod, a conductor of energy from sky to earth. As I fold forward to Uttanasana, I bring my hands down the centreline, passing my face, my heart and my solar plexus, until they naturally peel apart at the last moment and reconnect with the earth. This arm movement mirrors that of Surya Namasakar A, so it feels like there’s a familiar connection between them.
Everyone else in the room did it the other way, where your arms remain extended out in front as you rise up to Utkatasana (ekam), then they trace the wide circle out and down as you swan dive into Uttanasana (dve).
So now I’m wondering if there is a ‘correct’ way and if so, why so? Does it come down to personal preference, or is it fashion, or is it how you were originally taught, or is it however Guruji is teaching it now….
Whatever the consensus, I’ll probably just keep on doing my version until I get told otherwise.
Insufficient sleep, insufficient food, new city buzzy-brain, new shala nerves, the novelty of an afternoon practice and pre-menstrual psychosomatic insanity all resulted in dissipated energy and zero internal focus, but I managed to get through all of primary series without copping out and got some good, deep adjustments from Eileen in Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana, Marichy A and D, Baddha Konasana (she stepped up onto my thighs). The water bottle I spotted at the start of the session had disappeared by the time I got to Garbha Pindasana so I had to rely on sweat alone to get my arms through and couldn’t get them as far as usual, so my roll around was pretty insipid and came to a standstill about half way round. Eileen’s assistant Paul got my feet crossed behind my head in Supta Kurmasana (he deserves a medal for that effort – they were so slippery and yuk, so black still).
I finished with two long holds in Urdhva Dhanurasana, 8 long breaths in each, walking my hands in to deepen the backbend both times. I was hoping Eileen or Paul would come over and make me do some dropbacks but they didn’t so I opted out of them today. Eileen did the Paschimottanasana crush on me then whispered to go to the back of the room for the finishing sequence. Good thing she did as I hadn’t noticed people were doing this. I would have just continued on where I was and megabroadcast my foreign status and total ignorance to everyone. (At Simi’s we stay in the same spot for the entire series).
I went to the back – no teachers here. It felt a bit like when you tell an Iyengar teacher you’re menstruating and you get banished to the corner and treated like an invalid on sloppy food.
I find it quite an interruption to the flow of my practice when I have to get up and move my mat somewhere else. Doing the finishing inversions in another space must be a recent tradition which emerged from lack of space in the Indian shalas.
After a very brief chat with Eileen, I met up with my boyfriend and we went off for an exquisite Indian meal just down the road from the shala (can highly recommend Tandoori House if you’re visiting).
Practising at another shala has made me even more appreciative of my home town teachers Simi and David. Their shala is imbued with a sense of the spiritual. It’s a divinely sacred space to practice in which is a credit to Simi. She embodies all that is grace, Love and light.
“One who is aware of the divine perfection becomes a source of tremendous power and light and joy and peace and radiance.”
For me this is Simi.
We are very lucky to have her teaching here in Adelaide and I‘m sooo looking forward to getting back to a more regular attendance at her morning Mysore classes when I get back from the 10 day Vipassana retreat at the end of April.
But in the meantime here I am in SYDNEY. Tomorrow I’ll try for the 4pm led class with Trevor at Yogamoves in between our sightseeing.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Wednesday 6th April 2005
There’s an interesting research article on Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga here.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Saturday 2nd April 2005
An acutely odd week of practice brought on by trying to do more than I can physically cope with.
I had my last Mysore class with David on Monday as he’s going overseas for five months.
In Tuesday’s morning practice I had to purposely restrain myself and cut the practice down, reserving my strength for an extra class on Tuesday night with my former teacher. The night class was a strong, intense, carefully paced class, mostly Level 1 poses except for Eka Pada Bakasana which I couldn’t do on the first attempt. I would have liked a bit longer to work on it but we moved on.
We did some Surjanamaskars, lots of Dog Pose and Uttanasana, Trikonasana, Virabhadrasana B, Parsvakonasana, Parsvottanasana, Hanumanasana (with the forward bend), Janu Sirsasana and the backbending trio moving from Setu Bandha Sarvangasana into Viparitta Dandasana then pressing up to Urdhva Dhanurasana, holding each one for about five breaths then repeating the trio four or five times before finishing with Sarvangasana, Halasana and Paschimottansana.
A different kind of practice for me, working with depth, precision and intensity in each pose, quite indulgent. With the wisdom of hindsight, I can see how the extra class on Tuesday night contributed to wiping me out for the rest of the week. It just tipped me over the razor's edge that I'm constantly balancing on.
Practice on Wednesday and Thursday was barely practice at all, not an ounce of vitality left in my body. Wednesday I persisted stubbornly to the end of the standing poses then sunk slowly into passive restorative poses for the rest of my 2 hour session. Thursday was a similar story. Friday I set my alarm to go to Darren’s 6am led Iyengar practice but changed my mind when it went off.
This morning we had our once a month teacher’s practice (followed by the teachers meeting) at Rebecca’s studio. Kosta and I started at 6.30am and the other three teachers including Rebecca arrived somewhere between 7-7.30am I think.
I fronted up, set up my mat and laid down on it. I still hadn’t recovered my lost energy.
When Kosta came in, I courageously stood at the end of my mat, pretending to be ready for take off, but secretly fearing another crash landing into yoga wimp oblivion. No surprise when I got to the second Surya Namaskar B and called it quits. I decided to sit in meditation for the next one and a half hours and be an authentic yogi (reasoning that way beyond asana are the noble practices of pratyahara, dharana and dhyana that lead to Samadhi).
I guess I sat for about 30 minutes and it was a productive sit – my mental state quickly became clear and aware – I was moving inwards easily and fine tuning to the infinite channel. There were a few distractions as the others arrived, footsteps passing in front of me, the creak of the floorboards. With my eyes closed I tried to guess which teacher it was from the sound of their steps. They began their practices quietly and I resettled and reconnected.
Kosta was opposite and facing me, pumping through the Ashtanga sequence – I tried to guess what pose he was up to in the sequence without opening my eyes, then turned my wandering mind back inwards, reconnecting again. I’d been in Ardha Padmasana for about 30 minutes now, so I moved to Virasana, resettled for 5 minutes then unfolded into a steady, meditative Dog Pose. Following an inner prompt, I moved from Dog Pose into Sirsasana (Headstand) and stayed there for what seemed like about 7 minutes, trying to find the sweet spot where the bandhas kick in, and the energy is drawn through the core from my feet to the crown of my head. Sirsasana becomes profoundly mystical when this happens. The meditative mind was still with me, so although I didn’t quite find the elusive sweet spot this morning, my Sirsasana was a very quiet and powerfully understated experience.
I don’t think I’ve ever done Sirsasana at the start of an asana practice so I have no precedent, no explanation, no justification for starting with it today. Nor had I planned on doing any more poses after Sirsasana but they just sort of unfolded spontaneously in a divinely inspired order: Supta Baddha Konasana, Matsyasana, Baddha Padmasana, Yoga Mudra (5 minutes), Matsyasana again, Supta Paschimottanasana (couldn't find a link for this one so it might be the wrong name, but you lay on your back extending legs straight up to 90 degrees then holding the ankles draw the feet towards your face breath by breath, keeping the sacrum on the floor as much as you can), Halasana, Sarvangasana, Urdhva Padmasana (5 minutes), Matsyasana again, then miraculously (since I was started so bleakly) finishing with three, strong Urdhva Dhanurasanas as the rising energy from the practice peaked.
I laid out after the backbends, preparing to seal the session with a nice Savasana, but the others were packing up, so I had to skip Savasana. It didn’t really matter as the practice had restored and balanced my energy.
I felt nourished and relaxed.
We walked down to the local café and chatted about a couple of teaching issues. I contemplated breaking the news to Rebecca that I was planning to finish up my teaching at the studio in two weeks, but it just didn’t seem an appropriate time. I’ll have to call her on the weekend about it.
After coffee we wandered back and I taught my 9.30am Level 1 class. I took them through some basic Padmasana preparation work, something they haven’t done much of. The class seemed infused with a lovely feeling of connection between everyone - perhaps it was just me that was feeling connected. The teacher’s energy is instrumental in shaping the energy of the class and it’s so nice when a class gels like that and everyone leaves feeling strangely inspired.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
There’s an interesting research article on Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga here.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Saturday 2nd April 2005
An acutely odd week of practice brought on by trying to do more than I can physically cope with.
I had my last Mysore class with David on Monday as he’s going overseas for five months.
In Tuesday’s morning practice I had to purposely restrain myself and cut the practice down, reserving my strength for an extra class on Tuesday night with my former teacher. The night class was a strong, intense, carefully paced class, mostly Level 1 poses except for Eka Pada Bakasana which I couldn’t do on the first attempt. I would have liked a bit longer to work on it but we moved on.
We did some Surjanamaskars, lots of Dog Pose and Uttanasana, Trikonasana, Virabhadrasana B, Parsvakonasana, Parsvottanasana, Hanumanasana (with the forward bend), Janu Sirsasana and the backbending trio moving from Setu Bandha Sarvangasana into Viparitta Dandasana then pressing up to Urdhva Dhanurasana, holding each one for about five breaths then repeating the trio four or five times before finishing with Sarvangasana, Halasana and Paschimottansana.
A different kind of practice for me, working with depth, precision and intensity in each pose, quite indulgent. With the wisdom of hindsight, I can see how the extra class on Tuesday night contributed to wiping me out for the rest of the week. It just tipped me over the razor's edge that I'm constantly balancing on.
Practice on Wednesday and Thursday was barely practice at all, not an ounce of vitality left in my body. Wednesday I persisted stubbornly to the end of the standing poses then sunk slowly into passive restorative poses for the rest of my 2 hour session. Thursday was a similar story. Friday I set my alarm to go to Darren’s 6am led Iyengar practice but changed my mind when it went off.
This morning we had our once a month teacher’s practice (followed by the teachers meeting) at Rebecca’s studio. Kosta and I started at 6.30am and the other three teachers including Rebecca arrived somewhere between 7-7.30am I think.
I fronted up, set up my mat and laid down on it. I still hadn’t recovered my lost energy.
When Kosta came in, I courageously stood at the end of my mat, pretending to be ready for take off, but secretly fearing another crash landing into yoga wimp oblivion. No surprise when I got to the second Surya Namaskar B and called it quits. I decided to sit in meditation for the next one and a half hours and be an authentic yogi (reasoning that way beyond asana are the noble practices of pratyahara, dharana and dhyana that lead to Samadhi).
I guess I sat for about 30 minutes and it was a productive sit – my mental state quickly became clear and aware – I was moving inwards easily and fine tuning to the infinite channel. There were a few distractions as the others arrived, footsteps passing in front of me, the creak of the floorboards. With my eyes closed I tried to guess which teacher it was from the sound of their steps. They began their practices quietly and I resettled and reconnected.
Kosta was opposite and facing me, pumping through the Ashtanga sequence – I tried to guess what pose he was up to in the sequence without opening my eyes, then turned my wandering mind back inwards, reconnecting again. I’d been in Ardha Padmasana for about 30 minutes now, so I moved to Virasana, resettled for 5 minutes then unfolded into a steady, meditative Dog Pose. Following an inner prompt, I moved from Dog Pose into Sirsasana (Headstand) and stayed there for what seemed like about 7 minutes, trying to find the sweet spot where the bandhas kick in, and the energy is drawn through the core from my feet to the crown of my head. Sirsasana becomes profoundly mystical when this happens. The meditative mind was still with me, so although I didn’t quite find the elusive sweet spot this morning, my Sirsasana was a very quiet and powerfully understated experience.
I don’t think I’ve ever done Sirsasana at the start of an asana practice so I have no precedent, no explanation, no justification for starting with it today. Nor had I planned on doing any more poses after Sirsasana but they just sort of unfolded spontaneously in a divinely inspired order: Supta Baddha Konasana, Matsyasana, Baddha Padmasana, Yoga Mudra (5 minutes), Matsyasana again, Supta Paschimottanasana (couldn't find a link for this one so it might be the wrong name, but you lay on your back extending legs straight up to 90 degrees then holding the ankles draw the feet towards your face breath by breath, keeping the sacrum on the floor as much as you can), Halasana, Sarvangasana, Urdhva Padmasana (5 minutes), Matsyasana again, then miraculously (since I was started so bleakly) finishing with three, strong Urdhva Dhanurasanas as the rising energy from the practice peaked.
I laid out after the backbends, preparing to seal the session with a nice Savasana, but the others were packing up, so I had to skip Savasana. It didn’t really matter as the practice had restored and balanced my energy.
I felt nourished and relaxed.
We walked down to the local café and chatted about a couple of teaching issues. I contemplated breaking the news to Rebecca that I was planning to finish up my teaching at the studio in two weeks, but it just didn’t seem an appropriate time. I’ll have to call her on the weekend about it.
After coffee we wandered back and I taught my 9.30am Level 1 class. I took them through some basic Padmasana preparation work, something they haven’t done much of. The class seemed infused with a lovely feeling of connection between everyone - perhaps it was just me that was feeling connected. The teacher’s energy is instrumental in shaping the energy of the class and it’s so nice when a class gels like that and everyone leaves feeling strangely inspired.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
