Diary of a yoga nobodhi

Monday 10th January 2005

Yoga Intensive with Glenn Ceresoli where I digress from my Ashtanga practice for one week only.

The sun’s disappearing on this hot summer’s night and the café here is buzzing with activitiy. It’s the end of Day 1 of Glenn Ceresoli’s 5 day workshop so I’m decaffing and debriefing.
The workshop is a 2 hour morning and evening session each day for these five days. I took annual leave from my full time job this week to give myself the needed space to absorb whatever comes out of the intensive.

I’ve been very wary of dipping into anything that will detract from my current Ashtanga practice, which I adore lately.
In one of Mr Goenka’s famous evening video discourses on the Vipassana retreats he correctly identifies our thirst for always looking for “new experiences”. You know… the meditation experience, then the yoga workshop experience, then the ski trip experience, the Pilates experience, then the Vipassana experience, as if we are insatiably hungry for new thrills to fill up our empty lives.
Spiritual discipline requires us to dig deeply in one place, while gathering tools that will help us dig deeper and more effectively.
So I approach Glenn’s workshop with the intention of gathering tools and information that will help me grow, and add value to what I’m already doing, not as another “experience” to do and forget. For me it’s important to identify my motivation, and justify the reason for deviating from my practice this week.

I’ll try to find the time to record my personal impressions and insights from the workshop, knowing that every person there will be experiencing something different as we each filter information in through our different coloured eyes, and only retain what fits within our current capacity to understand and learn.
This has become really evident when I look back on things said by my previous teachers, including Glenn, things that barely made an impression on me back then which only now I am beginning to understand and experience as truth.
We only seem to hear and absorb what we are ready for.

So…to Glenn’s intensive workshop. Intensive is the keyword.
There are about 30 people in the workshop and, at a very rough guess, I’d say about three quarters are doing both the morning and evening sessions. The other few are doing mornings only.
Glenn is like no other teacher in his ability to articulate the process for internal change and transformation through the physical practice of yoga. He prompts us to look objectively at the habit patterns in our bodies and mental processes and apply precise and conscious antidotes to neutralize, banish or replace them.

Notes from DAY 1: Monday 10th January – morning session

To sum it up, our first session consisted of a very limited number of simple, basic poses, but we had to hold each one for an extended period of time. Each successive pose became a little more intense as we entered it more fully, with the primary objective of maintaining composure by:
1) long, deep, even breathing and
2) increasing the length and space in the spine

When a pose becomes intense, the mind immediately looks for a way out or at least for some kind of relief, so instead of allowing the mind to scatter which is our usual habit under stress (and the simple poses we did became surprisingly quite stressful on the nervous system when held for an extended period), Glenn directs us to simply observe the most difficult sensations, and apply whatever is needed to stay there with it, composed and equanimous.
We are reminded to notice the position and feeling of the spine, as this houses our central nervous system which then branches out, sending our conscious and subconscious messages to the entire body that in turn affects the state of our mind and emotions.

After the introductory talk to set his intention for the workshop, we were put into the first of a set series of four poses which Glenn will use to start each session.

Supta Baddha Konasana
Over a bolster with the standard Iyengar strap around the back of the hips and under the ankles to provide extra support in the pose. Arms are above the head, hands holding elbows. This is the traditional way to start an Iyengar class.
But the focus was different. Not allowing anyone to take the pose for granted, Glenn deconstructed the reasons for doing this pose and the effects of the pose on our body and mind. The entire pose is open: open groins, open hips, open abdomen, open chest and lungs, open shoulders and armpits. The front of the spine is more open than the back of the spine elongating the internal organs.
So first we roll the pubis towards the floor then lengthen the tailbone to create space in the lumbar spine. Why? Glenn explained that elongating the spine as we know creates space between the vertebrae and SPACE equals EASE. When the body feels spacious and at ease, the mind is free to seek out its experience of stillness.
So the point was to become consciously aware of what it is that provides the conditions for COMPOSURE and RELAXATION to occur in this pose.

Dandasana
Again pubis rolls toward the floor to position the pelvis correctly and activate the legs; back of knees and top of femurs descend to the floor, back knee creases extend to heels; inner shoulderblades press forward into ribcage and we lift the back lower ribs up.

Swastikasana
This is not the traditional Swastikasana illustrated in Light on Yoga (and the Hatha Yoga Pradipika), but a variation, just sitting with legs crossed, the front shinbone straight across and feet under the knees.
Again pubis rolls toward floor and the bend forward is an extension of the pelvic tilt. Arms actively extend forward with elbows lifted away from the floor, drawing inner shoulders away from thumb pads. We checked the slightly different feeling elicited between having the fingers together (incorrect) and having them spread wide (correct), then inched forward over a period of about 7 minutes. It was an exercise in observing areas of tension as they arose and consciously softening into the arising sensations. Not a difficult pose until you have to hold it for a long time and stay with whatever is happening.

Supta Virasana
Over a bolster. Can't quite remember much from this one.

Ado Mukha Virasana
(kneeling with knees apart, big toes together and bending forward, forehead to floor)
Can't quite remember much from this one either.

Ado Mukha Svanasana (Dog Pose)
Lots of emphasis on the feet and spreading skin from base of big toe to base of little toe then moving the skin from the top of the little toe towards the big toe…this intricate skin-moving work has occasinoally annoyed me in Iyengar classes, but I applied myself to the task anyway. I’ve got a lopsided Dog Pose (as Kosta pointed out when I stretched out to warm up in this pose before the workshop started) - right leg is longer than the left, which has always thrown out my hips and spine. Every yoga teacher had picked this up. But lifting my lopsided left hip so they are both level raises that heel way off the floor, so I’ve always had to compromise. This misalignment is a bit of a worry as Dog Pose is such an integral part of my Ashtanga practice. Repeating it day in day out without quite knowing where best to position my uneven hips may exacerbate the misalignment over time.
Glenn made us hold Dog Pose for something like 5-7 minutes. People started dropping like flies.
Holding this pose is more difficult than the opening poses as we are working against the force of gravity now.
The longer I held it, the more my little bodily problems showed themselves, and as the pressure intensified, my awareness of these problems became magnified. The slight hip lopsidedness which I don’t usually even notice in my normal practice became so predominant, that energetically it felt like I was doing a twist.
Glenn showed us how observing the weight under each foot can signify which leg has turned out more. Instead of correcting this leg by rolling the quadriceps inwards, we had to correct it from the hip, rolling that iliac crest toward the inner groin.

He talked briefly about the importance of balancing the left and right side of the body to bring balance to the Sun and Moon energy and balance to the mind. It all leads to the state of equanimity. I suspect he didn’t go on too much about the esoteric aspects (like the energy flow through the Ida , Pingala and Sushumna nadis) out of respect for the strict Iyengar ethos of this studio. Unfortunate, because that’s what I’m exploring in my practice these days.

One nice instruction I enjoyed implementing in Dog Pose was pulling the triceps towards the side ribs which instantly alters the position of the entire upper torso in the pose.
There are so many different ways to articulate how to work in an asana…For instance in Dog Pose: “Uncurl the tailbone” initiates the same pelvic tilt as “Draw the pubis back between the legs” as does “Roll the inner groins back” but some instructions can be more subtle like “ Scoop the pelvic floor back and up”.

Urdhva Hastasana and Utkatasana
In both of these poses we had to bring even weight under each foot. Some instructions included lifting the triceps towards the little fingers and drawing the thumb side towards the shoulder. Glenn left us holding Utkatasana while he took a prolonged amount of time adjusting Renate and Sasha– on purpose I suspect. They were doing the Ashtanga version where the torso and arms are almost upright – the Iyengar version of this pose has a much deeper squat and the arm/torso line is at a 45 degree angle to the floor. He told Renate to sit back further into an imaginary chair, “further, further…it’s a chair not a bar stool”. It broke the intense agony of a prolonged stay in Utkatasana and we all tried so hard not to collapse.

Ado Mukha Svanasana (again)

Savasana
Glenn’s instructions in Savasana are minimal. He starts with “Let the bones return to the earth” a line I often use in my own classes. He ends with something like “Let yourself dwell in what the practice has given you”.


Notes from DAY 1 – Monday 10th January evening session

I was sort of expecting that in the evening sessions, Glenn would do a restorative practice: maybe a sequence of inversions and pranayama.
NOT SO. This man’s on a mission and I’m not so sure that I agree with one of his favourite sayings “ Make it hurt and let it hurt”.
Authentic inner change is not a comfortable process because you’re confronting and challenging your habits, but “soft” yoga can often be an indulgence that reinforces our habitual pursuit of comfort at all costs. Somewhere in the middle is a balanced yoga practice; there is definitely a time and place for restorative work that encourages us hardcore yogis to be more gentle and compassionate with ourselves.

As in the morning session, we started with the same sequence of poses, held for long enough to change their reputation forever. No longer do I regard these as gentle restorative poses, but have gained a new respect for the profound effect they can have when held for an extended time – the body and mind are almost forced to give in as deeply held tensions not felt before begin to rise to the surface:
Supta Baddha Konasana (bolster and strap)
Dandasana
Swastikasana
Dandasana
Supta Virasana (bolster)

Upavista Konasana II
First we established Upavista Konasana I, rolling pubis down. Without looking, we had to sense any difference between the position of the floor beneath our heels which gives an indication of which leg is rolling out more, then follow this information up by correcting that leg, rolling the groin up to the iliac crest. “Extend the back knee creases toward the heels” was an often repeated instruction.
Once established in perfect alignment, we twisted to the right and placed hands either side of the right knee. In this position it felt great to follow the prompt of moving the pubis toward the groin of the anchoring back left leg.
Then we pressed the right hand down into the floor to send energy from the inner left groin to the left heel to keep the left leg well activated and grounded. Lift pubis slightly here (not sure why) then elongate forward over the leg bit by bit, a process that continued for over 5 minutes. The occasional sense of panic that swept over me during this gradual descent was eased by Glenn’s reminder of composure and deep, even breathing. The twist and forward bend in the pose deepened breath by breath, the edge kept dissolving, but the intensity and engagement in the process was extraordinary. My side ribs lengthened and I felt the back of my neck straightening as the upper spine gradually moved into the body. Beautiful.

Upavista Konasana I
After the twisting version of the pose, we did the symmetrical forward bend version and we must have held this for at least 7 minutes – maybe even 10. 10 minutes in another dimension can be life changing. My mind was so absorbed that it turned in on itself like a collapsing black star in deep space – that’s where I was – deep inner space. The effort to remain still with the intensity and pain transported me to a rather weird inner space where time dissolved. It was like the edge of the world, scary but familiar, a place where legends are forged into time.
This was Upavista Konasana I. Can you believe it? Probably not until you’ve nudged this pose beyond your edge, repeatedly ignoring the panic voice that urges you out of it. Try it…5 minutes minimum in the pose, at your edge and continually deepening it, not going deeper then backing off, but continually forward.

After this, he made us get up and walk around. Well, no-one could quite believe the sensations that they felt in their legs. I thought I’d never walk again. Crippled for life by Upavista Konasana.

Supta Padangusthasana
Most people used a strap, but being a devoted Ashtangi, I held my big toe before realizing I was supposed to be using two hands. I wish I’d used the strap because the initial hamstring stretch felt super intense and it just increased from there.
Instructions included (with right leg raised) draw outer left knee up towards hip; take tailbone towards left heel to center the back of the pelvis; draw top of right femur towards base of pelvic floor (this was a bit lost on me – I get a clearer action when I think of it moving towards the left heel).
We were at our maximum extension of the raised leg for a couple of minutes when he made us all go further.
“Think you can’t? Yes you can!”
I was at my max but pretty scared that I might reinjure my right hamstring again. I originally injured it not by overstretching but by overholding in Uttanasana.
When we changed legs I thought I’d be able to go a lot further with my left leg, but it didn’t happen. That was an interesting revelation – both left and right hamstrings have the same amount of elasticity now which means Mr Right Hammy is back to normal. I shall no longer show any mercy to him.

Supported Setu Bandha Sarvangasana
Standard Iyengar restorative style – laying over a bolster with a strap around the thighs and the feet resting on a block.

Glenn gives so much more than just instructions in the poses. He keeps up a continual narrative espousing wisdom he’s gained from a lifetime of spiritual enquiry so that we can explore the workings of our minds within our practice.
Instructions like “Get the mind out of the way” which he repeated a few times. I particularly noticed this one because it sort of echoes my blog subtitle “For God to visit there must be nobody home”.
When we empty the mind out of our ongoing rhetoric of opinions and judgements, when we let go of all ideas and concepts, built up images of who we are and what we can and can’t do, when all that is removed, what is left is clear, luminous mind, pure essence, unlimited potential, and then we can connect to the absolute Source of power within.

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