Tuesday 2nd November
With a sprained big toe joint, it would have been foolish AND painful to do any jumpbacks this morning. Even the Chaturanga foot position (toes in flexion) wasn’t possible so I had to modify and step carefully through every vinyasa. That made it a more focused practice than usual, quieter, but with a nice, meditative kind of intensity – really strong and even ujjiyi breathing that powered an understated momentum.
Sometimes the practice can go that way when you’ve got an injury.
Since I’ve started to feel more clearly where and how the energy is moving through my body, and where it’s dull or blocked, a whole new layer of subtle physiology is revealing itself – but I know it’s just the tip of the iceberg. Fascinating stuff how the bandhas lock and redirect energy through the body.
I ordered the Hatha Yoga Pradipika (Bihar School version) yesterday. The translation and commentary by Swami Muktibodhananda is the most intelligent, meaningful and accessible version that I’ve come across. It should arrive in a couple of weeks, quite timely as the end of the year approaches along with my 2 week holiday break over Christmas and New Year.
With this new focus to work with, I’ve become more curious about the hows and whys of moving prana/ch’i/vital energy through the body’s energetic channels and how it’s really beginning to change the way I operate in this world: gradual purification of the nervous system, the clearing of samskaras and emotional blockages, the arousing of the kundalini force and all the other esoteric descriptions that give words to the elusive processes of awakening.
Various spiritual traditions have developed different internal exercises to help us on our journey…many paths up the same mountain. But what I’ve realized from my own personal experience is that if you’re not perfectly ready for each successive step, you’ll either just pass it over as too remote and beyond your comprehension, or you’ll find it overwhelming and too powerful for your mind and body to cope with and give up on it (a sure sign you’re not ready to practice it).
I guess you could liken it to starting Ashtanga, having never done any yoga before - and trying to do the entire primary sequence from Day 1. It would just burn you out and there would be a lot more damage done than good – most likely you’d give it up pretty quick saying it’s not for you. But if you’ve got a good teacher, you’ll start slowly and build up the practice only as you’re ready to meet the challenge of each new pose. Good practice is built on solid foundations, brick by brick. You know that lovely saying: “When the student is ready, the teacher appears”, it’s a gem, a metaphor pointing to the perfectly natural process where the universe provides what we need as we become ready to receive it.
After all that rambling, what I was actually getting at is how this Ashtanga practice can lead you into the more subtle layers of your being, the longer you do it, the deeper it gets and the more mystical are the openings that occur. I don’t know when, but at some point, the physical Ashtanga practice became more the background or support for a more refined exploration of my Self.
And with my focus changing and evolving, the attraction to working with the more subtle dynamics of yoga is beckoning me. So I’m pretty excited about getting in between the sheets with the Pradipika over the holidays.
Another thing I’m looking forward to in the New Year is Glenn Ceresoli’s workshop. It’s confirmed for January 10-15. Monday to Friday, a 6-8am morning session and a 6-8pm evening session each day. He’s never done that here before. I’ve been to 4 of Glenn’s workshops over the past couple of years but they’ve all been 6-8am morning sessions for 6 consecutive days (no evenings). I’m taking that week off work so I can really submerge myself in a week of yoga, undistracted. He’s an incredible teacher.
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Monday 1st November 2004
Finally, after an absence of (oh my god!) SEVEN months, I got to a Monday morning Mysore class at Simi’s shala. I can’t believe it’s been that long. For the last 6 weeks, every Sunday night I’ve set my alarm for 5:10am with the stongest intention of going. Then the alarm goes off on Monday morning, I wake up and lay in bed, wide eyed…and talk myself out of it every time.
This week I thought up a strategy to break the pattern.
I decided to ring Simi and David (the teachers at the shala) last night to tell them I’d be there this morning. I figured if I was expected, I couldn’t chicken out and let them – and myself - down.
I was expecting David to be teaching, but he’s on a break for 4 weeks so Simi is teaching the morning Mysore classes this month, which was even more incentive as I feel a stronger synergy with Simi (surprising since the few teachers I’ve chosen to learn from have been strong male characters).
It was great to get back there – the time has definitely come. As soon as I walked in I felt a part of the space, as if being there completed some metaphysical jigsaw in time and space.
The 15 or so lovely bodies in the shala each occupied their physical spaces with a fullness of presence; earthy, organic, bodies, supple clay flesh moving in the softly lit shala and being moulded by the practice, rounded imperfect, unique forms, moving, living, breathing – life in its most beautiful and delicious manifestation – REAL bodies, experiencing themselves.
It’s hard to describe the sensual energy that fills a half lit Ashtanga shala, so warm and embryonic in the early hours of the morning. It’s not sexual, just beautifully human; we’re all so strong, yet easily injured…our existence so ephemeral.
I only took a good look around twice but managed to catch Angie’s eye, and we exchanged a sweet little wave (I think Angie’s back at the shala every morning now so she doesn’t come to practice in the Gallery any more); and I saw Jess as well who comes to the Gallery practice occasionally. All the others were familiar faces without names, as is often the case when you practice together but don’t get the chance to talk to each other. Fellow travellers…strangers that you know well.
I started about 5 minutes before 6am and already by that time some of the early people were well into their standing poses. We all stopped our practice at 6am for the opening chant. I was just into my fifth Surja Namaskar by that time so I had to do a pretend chant, just mouthing the words, while gasping silently for breath.
Twice in the Surja Namaskars Simi asked me to jump up from Dog Pose into a Handstand (she was there to catch me) then float down slowly with straight legs to Uttanasana. I’d never done that before but it’s gotta be great training for those floaty jump throughs one day.
A bit of a blow came at the end of the standing poses though: Simi held me up in a Handstand then let me go for what was supposed to be a controlled descent into Upward Dog – but somehow, my legs just dropped like lead weights, jarring my toes pretty badly. It felt like I’d broken my right big toe. I just sort of gasped with shock, then collected myself and kept going, tough girl that I am. I’ve done this move many times, but I guess the combination of being supported in the handstand and then released when I wasn’t quite ready, plus my overall lack of mental focus this morning, were the perfect ingredients for an accident. The instant she let me go, I knew that my mind wasn’t in control of my body.
After that, every jump back became an excruciating exercise in mindfulness.
So I’ve been hobbling around on a badly sprained right big toe all day at work to the amusement of my co-workers, who still think that yoga is laying over a bolster and breathing deeply.
Other minor points I can remember from this morning’s practice:
- Bound weakly on both sides in Marichy D and Pasasana – those two fellas are definitely related.
- Simi got my feet locked behind my head quite easily in Supta Kurmasana. I’d forgotten what that felt like – it’s a strangely fulfilling pose to be locked into. Just wish I could get there on my own.
- I’m getting just a little excited about my progress with jumping through from Dog Pose to seated Dandasana. I’ve noticed in my last couple of practices that I’ve been able to do a few REAL ones, jumping through and extending my legs completely BEFORE lowering my bum to the floor… It feels like a real breakthrough for me because it takes strong shoulder and bandha work. I like it when I’ve got something like that to work on – you kinda know its coming.
- Did a few assisted dropbacks (assisted also by Simi saying “think of a waterfall” and “lengthen from the little toe to the little finger”) followed by three handstand dropbacks - I messed up each one of these by not landing solidly on my feet. My head was a bit scrambled by this time and my feet sort of shuffled unsteadily as I came up to standing. Not grounding through my legs enough. I hope to get another go at them next Monday. Gee that seems so far away now – an entire week.
Simi asked us all to chant the closing mantra as we finished our practice, so everyone was going off like church bells at different intervals. Me...I still don’t know it all, so I finished up simply with a silent, but heart-felt “thank you”. That sealed all the energy generated by the practice into my heart.
Meister Eckhardt said “If the only prayer you ever said was thank you, that would suffice”.
I love that.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
With a sprained big toe joint, it would have been foolish AND painful to do any jumpbacks this morning. Even the Chaturanga foot position (toes in flexion) wasn’t possible so I had to modify and step carefully through every vinyasa. That made it a more focused practice than usual, quieter, but with a nice, meditative kind of intensity – really strong and even ujjiyi breathing that powered an understated momentum.
Sometimes the practice can go that way when you’ve got an injury.
Since I’ve started to feel more clearly where and how the energy is moving through my body, and where it’s dull or blocked, a whole new layer of subtle physiology is revealing itself – but I know it’s just the tip of the iceberg. Fascinating stuff how the bandhas lock and redirect energy through the body.
I ordered the Hatha Yoga Pradipika (Bihar School version) yesterday. The translation and commentary by Swami Muktibodhananda is the most intelligent, meaningful and accessible version that I’ve come across. It should arrive in a couple of weeks, quite timely as the end of the year approaches along with my 2 week holiday break over Christmas and New Year.
With this new focus to work with, I’ve become more curious about the hows and whys of moving prana/ch’i/vital energy through the body’s energetic channels and how it’s really beginning to change the way I operate in this world: gradual purification of the nervous system, the clearing of samskaras and emotional blockages, the arousing of the kundalini force and all the other esoteric descriptions that give words to the elusive processes of awakening.
Various spiritual traditions have developed different internal exercises to help us on our journey…many paths up the same mountain. But what I’ve realized from my own personal experience is that if you’re not perfectly ready for each successive step, you’ll either just pass it over as too remote and beyond your comprehension, or you’ll find it overwhelming and too powerful for your mind and body to cope with and give up on it (a sure sign you’re not ready to practice it).
I guess you could liken it to starting Ashtanga, having never done any yoga before - and trying to do the entire primary sequence from Day 1. It would just burn you out and there would be a lot more damage done than good – most likely you’d give it up pretty quick saying it’s not for you. But if you’ve got a good teacher, you’ll start slowly and build up the practice only as you’re ready to meet the challenge of each new pose. Good practice is built on solid foundations, brick by brick. You know that lovely saying: “When the student is ready, the teacher appears”, it’s a gem, a metaphor pointing to the perfectly natural process where the universe provides what we need as we become ready to receive it.
After all that rambling, what I was actually getting at is how this Ashtanga practice can lead you into the more subtle layers of your being, the longer you do it, the deeper it gets and the more mystical are the openings that occur. I don’t know when, but at some point, the physical Ashtanga practice became more the background or support for a more refined exploration of my Self.
And with my focus changing and evolving, the attraction to working with the more subtle dynamics of yoga is beckoning me. So I’m pretty excited about getting in between the sheets with the Pradipika over the holidays.
Another thing I’m looking forward to in the New Year is Glenn Ceresoli’s workshop. It’s confirmed for January 10-15. Monday to Friday, a 6-8am morning session and a 6-8pm evening session each day. He’s never done that here before. I’ve been to 4 of Glenn’s workshops over the past couple of years but they’ve all been 6-8am morning sessions for 6 consecutive days (no evenings). I’m taking that week off work so I can really submerge myself in a week of yoga, undistracted. He’s an incredible teacher.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Monday 1st November 2004
Finally, after an absence of (oh my god!) SEVEN months, I got to a Monday morning Mysore class at Simi’s shala. I can’t believe it’s been that long. For the last 6 weeks, every Sunday night I’ve set my alarm for 5:10am with the stongest intention of going. Then the alarm goes off on Monday morning, I wake up and lay in bed, wide eyed…and talk myself out of it every time.
This week I thought up a strategy to break the pattern.
I decided to ring Simi and David (the teachers at the shala) last night to tell them I’d be there this morning. I figured if I was expected, I couldn’t chicken out and let them – and myself - down.
I was expecting David to be teaching, but he’s on a break for 4 weeks so Simi is teaching the morning Mysore classes this month, which was even more incentive as I feel a stronger synergy with Simi (surprising since the few teachers I’ve chosen to learn from have been strong male characters).
It was great to get back there – the time has definitely come. As soon as I walked in I felt a part of the space, as if being there completed some metaphysical jigsaw in time and space.
The 15 or so lovely bodies in the shala each occupied their physical spaces with a fullness of presence; earthy, organic, bodies, supple clay flesh moving in the softly lit shala and being moulded by the practice, rounded imperfect, unique forms, moving, living, breathing – life in its most beautiful and delicious manifestation – REAL bodies, experiencing themselves.
It’s hard to describe the sensual energy that fills a half lit Ashtanga shala, so warm and embryonic in the early hours of the morning. It’s not sexual, just beautifully human; we’re all so strong, yet easily injured…our existence so ephemeral.
I only took a good look around twice but managed to catch Angie’s eye, and we exchanged a sweet little wave (I think Angie’s back at the shala every morning now so she doesn’t come to practice in the Gallery any more); and I saw Jess as well who comes to the Gallery practice occasionally. All the others were familiar faces without names, as is often the case when you practice together but don’t get the chance to talk to each other. Fellow travellers…strangers that you know well.
I started about 5 minutes before 6am and already by that time some of the early people were well into their standing poses. We all stopped our practice at 6am for the opening chant. I was just into my fifth Surja Namaskar by that time so I had to do a pretend chant, just mouthing the words, while gasping silently for breath.
Twice in the Surja Namaskars Simi asked me to jump up from Dog Pose into a Handstand (she was there to catch me) then float down slowly with straight legs to Uttanasana. I’d never done that before but it’s gotta be great training for those floaty jump throughs one day.
A bit of a blow came at the end of the standing poses though: Simi held me up in a Handstand then let me go for what was supposed to be a controlled descent into Upward Dog – but somehow, my legs just dropped like lead weights, jarring my toes pretty badly. It felt like I’d broken my right big toe. I just sort of gasped with shock, then collected myself and kept going, tough girl that I am. I’ve done this move many times, but I guess the combination of being supported in the handstand and then released when I wasn’t quite ready, plus my overall lack of mental focus this morning, were the perfect ingredients for an accident. The instant she let me go, I knew that my mind wasn’t in control of my body.
After that, every jump back became an excruciating exercise in mindfulness.
So I’ve been hobbling around on a badly sprained right big toe all day at work to the amusement of my co-workers, who still think that yoga is laying over a bolster and breathing deeply.
Other minor points I can remember from this morning’s practice:
- Bound weakly on both sides in Marichy D and Pasasana – those two fellas are definitely related.
- Simi got my feet locked behind my head quite easily in Supta Kurmasana. I’d forgotten what that felt like – it’s a strangely fulfilling pose to be locked into. Just wish I could get there on my own.
- I’m getting just a little excited about my progress with jumping through from Dog Pose to seated Dandasana. I’ve noticed in my last couple of practices that I’ve been able to do a few REAL ones, jumping through and extending my legs completely BEFORE lowering my bum to the floor… It feels like a real breakthrough for me because it takes strong shoulder and bandha work. I like it when I’ve got something like that to work on – you kinda know its coming.
- Did a few assisted dropbacks (assisted also by Simi saying “think of a waterfall” and “lengthen from the little toe to the little finger”) followed by three handstand dropbacks - I messed up each one of these by not landing solidly on my feet. My head was a bit scrambled by this time and my feet sort of shuffled unsteadily as I came up to standing. Not grounding through my legs enough. I hope to get another go at them next Monday. Gee that seems so far away now – an entire week.
Simi asked us all to chant the closing mantra as we finished our practice, so everyone was going off like church bells at different intervals. Me...I still don’t know it all, so I finished up simply with a silent, but heart-felt “thank you”. That sealed all the energy generated by the practice into my heart.
Meister Eckhardt said “If the only prayer you ever said was thank you, that would suffice”.
I love that.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
