Wednesday 15th September 2004
Renate, Sascha and I had a girls night out last night (for us yogis unfortunately that doesn’t mean the pub). We went together to an Ashtanga class, then had dinner at Renates and watched a video (not even a schmaltzy movie, but a documentary exploring the connection between religious experiences and the temporal lobes of the brain). I’ve definitely turned into a socially boring yoga geek.
So we got to Simi’s shala in time for the 5.45pm class. Renate and Sascha had never been there before, in fact neither of them had ever done a ‘real’ Ashtanga class before, and this turned out to be a Mysore session. It was only the second time I’d done an evening Ashtanga practice. On the rare occasions I do yoga in the evenings, its usually restorative stuff. Ashtanga for me feels better in the mornings even though my body’s so much stiffer.
Renate thought the shala was very Indian, not because of the decorations, but more the busyness of it all; lots of visual stimuli around the walls, music playing, a loud and constant trickling from the water feature, a baby in the corner crying all through the practice, heavy footsteps all over the place during Savasana etc… Focus was impossible.
And all the cards were stacked against me last night. I’d already done a practice in the morning, then gone straight to work, finished work at 5pm and gone straight to the shala. I ate lunch late and had 2 strong espressos yesterday. On top of that, it’s day 2 of my period so I shouldn’t have been practicing at all. To top it off, I ignored my better judgement and did all the finishing inversions in the class as well.
The practice itself flew by quickly, no magic moments. I seemed to be shaky all the way through thanks to the caffeine overdose. I felt a bit grotty and smelly coming straight from work, and my feet were clammy from 8 hours in boots (which caused me great embarrassment when Simi assisted me in Utthita Padangusthasana). Simi actually gave me quite a few of the standard assists. I bound well in Marichyasana D, held it for 5 breaths, then she came over, moved me deeper into it and I had to stay in it for another eternity. She went off to assist someone else while I vinyasad to Marichy D on the second side, bound again and held it for 5 breaths, and again she came over to assist me at the end of my stay, so it was a massive quadruple time in Marichy D. INTENSE. Got assisted in Garbha Pindasana - the full lotus version with hands cupping chin then onto forehead, then she spun me around for the 360.
Did a few solo dropbacks, a few assisted ones, then a few assisted handstand dropbacks which I really miss.
But overall it was a weakish practice. I managed to do the entire practice with no bandhas at all, which was predictable really considering my period and all the distractions – no internal focus whatsoever.
This morning I’d planned to do a practice in the Gallery, but woke up pretty fragile from last night’s class even though I didn’t work anywhere near my maximum, so I cancelled the Gallery practice at 5.30am and went back to sleep. I’d forgotten about the post practice pains. It’s not so much muscular but more like nerve aches. I think being adjusted deeply into poses must somehow stretch and stress the nerves in their channels. Anyway, that’s what it feels like today, and I haven’t felt that in all these months of doing my own practice.
It hurts…but it’s great.
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Monday 13th September
I was planning to go to David’s Mysore class this morning, having not been to a Mysore class for over 4 months, but got sabotaged yet again, this time by the start of my period.
Monday of last week I was a bit wiped out from surfing the day before (yeah a weak excuse I know), and the Monday before that it was a full moon day. Surely there must be an end to these Monday morning obstacles. Something seems to come up every single Monday that prevents me from going, so I figure the timing isn’t right and divine reasoning prevails.
But the repeated postponement is just making me more eager and determined to get there. Like the invisible yearning you feel when you’re separated from your lover – sweet misery. ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’.
So the momentum’s building up and it will happen when it’s supposed to.
Sometimes on these first period days, I don’t practice at all; other times I’ll do a few soft menstrual floor poses over bolsters, and sometimes I don’t feel any different so I practice as usual minus the inversions. But today, instead of a physical practice, I sat for 45 minutes in meditation before going off to work. This was a continuum from yesterday, since I had such a nice sitting yesterday morning after a leisurely Sunday sleep in. It’s nice to come back to stillness again, but it takes time to get there when you’re out of practice.
This morning it took me half an hour of returning over and over to the breath, reining the mind back to the breath as a focus point, until it finally conceded defeat and quietened allowing the meditative state to arise. The process resembles breaking in a wild stallion.
The many different paths to enlightenment
From what I can gather, regular meditation is at the heart of most spiritual practices.
I’ve often contemplated the difference between the Yoga path to samadhi and the Buddhist path to enlightenment.
In one sense, asana and pranayama are preparations for the more refined inner practices of mind purification. Initially working with the body (through asana work), we become aware of our grosser physical responses, feeling out the increasingly subtle physical and physiological changes; gaining in sensitivity, we can then begin to detect and navigate the ebb and flow of energy throughout the body in pranayama. From there it’s a natural progression to start observing the moment by moment fluctuations of our mind and emotions. We first observe all of these things, watching, witnessing, remaining detached, then with the awareness that bring, we can begin the work of transformation, making the necessary changes to modify behaviour, let go of bad habits both physical and mental, and move towards living an enlightened life.
It’s a logical kind of learning curve, from the outer to the inner.
The Buddhist path sort of throws you in at the deep end; right from the start you’re forced to sit and look at your mental processes. Seems to me it works in reverse order to the yoga path: you start by cleaning up the inside (mind), and then the outside (lifestyle) begins to change for the better.
I know that when my thoughts are more pure, more positive, more altruistic, then my motivations, decisions, responses and actions all come from a balanced mind and loving heart, and my life falls in synch with the universal intelligence.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Saturday 11th September 2004
It’s been a really good, solid week of practice - Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday I powered through a full, pure Primary series each morning, then did a strong Iyengar session on Friday with lots of long holdings, and another Ashtanga practice this morning with Kosta and the other two teachers at the studio (Kosta and I did Ashtanga while the others did their own practice – an eclectic combo of Shandor’s Shadow yoga and Donna Farhi’s current interpretation of yoga).
After four consecutively strong daily practices, I was feeling a bit ragged around the edges at work on Friday afternoon and not sure I’d be up to the teachers practice this morning. So it was a nice surprise to wake up feeling quite energetic this morning.
Bound on both sides in Marichy D for the first time in a couple of weeks, then went on to make history by rolling up to Urdhva Paschimottanasana with legs straight for the very first time. How I did it is a mystery, so sadly it’s not like I finally worked out the equation, applied it and got results; more like a total fluke. Can I fluke it again? Hmmmmm, I wonder. What I do know is how you can get a pose and then lose it again. Sometimes you can even ‘have’ a pose for weeks or months, then lose it again. It’s a fickle thing, this Ashtanga – no attachment allowed.
Attempted Pasasana half heartedly and bound on both sides for a second or two before oops, the elbow slipped over the knee. But by that time I wasn’t even trying so I wasn’t expecting to get into it at all. Just sort of threw in the pose for the fun of it really, not counting it in as part of the practice. Given that attitude, it would have been a waste of energy to go further into second series so I called it quits after Pasasana, did a good set of Urdhva Ds, working progressively deeper into each subsequent holding, then a few dropbacks and the finishing poses.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Renate, Sascha and I had a girls night out last night (for us yogis unfortunately that doesn’t mean the pub). We went together to an Ashtanga class, then had dinner at Renates and watched a video (not even a schmaltzy movie, but a documentary exploring the connection between religious experiences and the temporal lobes of the brain). I’ve definitely turned into a socially boring yoga geek.
So we got to Simi’s shala in time for the 5.45pm class. Renate and Sascha had never been there before, in fact neither of them had ever done a ‘real’ Ashtanga class before, and this turned out to be a Mysore session. It was only the second time I’d done an evening Ashtanga practice. On the rare occasions I do yoga in the evenings, its usually restorative stuff. Ashtanga for me feels better in the mornings even though my body’s so much stiffer.
Renate thought the shala was very Indian, not because of the decorations, but more the busyness of it all; lots of visual stimuli around the walls, music playing, a loud and constant trickling from the water feature, a baby in the corner crying all through the practice, heavy footsteps all over the place during Savasana etc… Focus was impossible.
And all the cards were stacked against me last night. I’d already done a practice in the morning, then gone straight to work, finished work at 5pm and gone straight to the shala. I ate lunch late and had 2 strong espressos yesterday. On top of that, it’s day 2 of my period so I shouldn’t have been practicing at all. To top it off, I ignored my better judgement and did all the finishing inversions in the class as well.
The practice itself flew by quickly, no magic moments. I seemed to be shaky all the way through thanks to the caffeine overdose. I felt a bit grotty and smelly coming straight from work, and my feet were clammy from 8 hours in boots (which caused me great embarrassment when Simi assisted me in Utthita Padangusthasana). Simi actually gave me quite a few of the standard assists. I bound well in Marichyasana D, held it for 5 breaths, then she came over, moved me deeper into it and I had to stay in it for another eternity. She went off to assist someone else while I vinyasad to Marichy D on the second side, bound again and held it for 5 breaths, and again she came over to assist me at the end of my stay, so it was a massive quadruple time in Marichy D. INTENSE. Got assisted in Garbha Pindasana - the full lotus version with hands cupping chin then onto forehead, then she spun me around for the 360.
Did a few solo dropbacks, a few assisted ones, then a few assisted handstand dropbacks which I really miss.
But overall it was a weakish practice. I managed to do the entire practice with no bandhas at all, which was predictable really considering my period and all the distractions – no internal focus whatsoever.
This morning I’d planned to do a practice in the Gallery, but woke up pretty fragile from last night’s class even though I didn’t work anywhere near my maximum, so I cancelled the Gallery practice at 5.30am and went back to sleep. I’d forgotten about the post practice pains. It’s not so much muscular but more like nerve aches. I think being adjusted deeply into poses must somehow stretch and stress the nerves in their channels. Anyway, that’s what it feels like today, and I haven’t felt that in all these months of doing my own practice.
It hurts…but it’s great.
___________________________________________________________________________________________
Monday 13th September
I was planning to go to David’s Mysore class this morning, having not been to a Mysore class for over 4 months, but got sabotaged yet again, this time by the start of my period.
Monday of last week I was a bit wiped out from surfing the day before (yeah a weak excuse I know), and the Monday before that it was a full moon day. Surely there must be an end to these Monday morning obstacles. Something seems to come up every single Monday that prevents me from going, so I figure the timing isn’t right and divine reasoning prevails.
But the repeated postponement is just making me more eager and determined to get there. Like the invisible yearning you feel when you’re separated from your lover – sweet misery. ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’.
So the momentum’s building up and it will happen when it’s supposed to.
Sometimes on these first period days, I don’t practice at all; other times I’ll do a few soft menstrual floor poses over bolsters, and sometimes I don’t feel any different so I practice as usual minus the inversions. But today, instead of a physical practice, I sat for 45 minutes in meditation before going off to work. This was a continuum from yesterday, since I had such a nice sitting yesterday morning after a leisurely Sunday sleep in. It’s nice to come back to stillness again, but it takes time to get there when you’re out of practice.
This morning it took me half an hour of returning over and over to the breath, reining the mind back to the breath as a focus point, until it finally conceded defeat and quietened allowing the meditative state to arise. The process resembles breaking in a wild stallion.
The many different paths to enlightenment
From what I can gather, regular meditation is at the heart of most spiritual practices.
I’ve often contemplated the difference between the Yoga path to samadhi and the Buddhist path to enlightenment.
In one sense, asana and pranayama are preparations for the more refined inner practices of mind purification. Initially working with the body (through asana work), we become aware of our grosser physical responses, feeling out the increasingly subtle physical and physiological changes; gaining in sensitivity, we can then begin to detect and navigate the ebb and flow of energy throughout the body in pranayama. From there it’s a natural progression to start observing the moment by moment fluctuations of our mind and emotions. We first observe all of these things, watching, witnessing, remaining detached, then with the awareness that bring, we can begin the work of transformation, making the necessary changes to modify behaviour, let go of bad habits both physical and mental, and move towards living an enlightened life.
It’s a logical kind of learning curve, from the outer to the inner.
The Buddhist path sort of throws you in at the deep end; right from the start you’re forced to sit and look at your mental processes. Seems to me it works in reverse order to the yoga path: you start by cleaning up the inside (mind), and then the outside (lifestyle) begins to change for the better.
I know that when my thoughts are more pure, more positive, more altruistic, then my motivations, decisions, responses and actions all come from a balanced mind and loving heart, and my life falls in synch with the universal intelligence.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Saturday 11th September 2004
It’s been a really good, solid week of practice - Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday I powered through a full, pure Primary series each morning, then did a strong Iyengar session on Friday with lots of long holdings, and another Ashtanga practice this morning with Kosta and the other two teachers at the studio (Kosta and I did Ashtanga while the others did their own practice – an eclectic combo of Shandor’s Shadow yoga and Donna Farhi’s current interpretation of yoga).
After four consecutively strong daily practices, I was feeling a bit ragged around the edges at work on Friday afternoon and not sure I’d be up to the teachers practice this morning. So it was a nice surprise to wake up feeling quite energetic this morning.
Bound on both sides in Marichy D for the first time in a couple of weeks, then went on to make history by rolling up to Urdhva Paschimottanasana with legs straight for the very first time. How I did it is a mystery, so sadly it’s not like I finally worked out the equation, applied it and got results; more like a total fluke. Can I fluke it again? Hmmmmm, I wonder. What I do know is how you can get a pose and then lose it again. Sometimes you can even ‘have’ a pose for weeks or months, then lose it again. It’s a fickle thing, this Ashtanga – no attachment allowed.
Attempted Pasasana half heartedly and bound on both sides for a second or two before oops, the elbow slipped over the knee. But by that time I wasn’t even trying so I wasn’t expecting to get into it at all. Just sort of threw in the pose for the fun of it really, not counting it in as part of the practice. Given that attitude, it would have been a waste of energy to go further into second series so I called it quits after Pasasana, did a good set of Urdhva Ds, working progressively deeper into each subsequent holding, then a few dropbacks and the finishing poses.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
