Friday 30th July 2004
Yoga Teaching
The past week of practice has been overshadowed by a decision I had to make which overtook and obsessed me to the frozen point of indecision. As I agonized over the decision of whether or not to take on another permanent Level 1 yoga class, all other activities this week sort of blurred into non-significance. The decision almost took on life-threatening proportions, and no amount of logical, list the pros and cons rationale was helping. Not sure why it was such a big decision – maybe it signified a committed choice to a path I’ve been side stepping for so long. I don’t commit easily.
It reminds me of a little saying: “Men aren’t really afraid of commitment, they’re just afraid of committing to the wrong person.”
I’m not a man, but I am a Gemini.
Choosing to take on another class feels like an irreversible decision, although in reality I could pull out whenever I wanted. Maybe my reality is different. On an invisible level, taking on this class marks a serious turning point for me…accepting my destiny perhaps…a commitment to a noble life devoted to developing the skills that will help and uplift others. The beautiful grace of the universe has eloquently carved out this pathway for me and I’ve been reluctant to follow it.
When I look back at how I began teaching yoga, it was almost forced upon me by the divine will – there was no denying how opportunities just arose. I’ll never forget finding an envelope containing $500 under my door one day with a card which said “Just for being you”. To this day, I don’t know who did that. But it came at a time when I’d been teaching some yoga to a couple of friends in my lounge room and word had spread and others wanted to come along. I thought about expanding the lounge room session and moving it to the art gallery space where I worked, but I didn’t really have any props and equipment. And presto, $500 under the door. I was stunned and moved to tears; the boss was happy for me to use the space so I bought mats and blankets, had some blocks made and turned a couple of disused futons into lovely bolsters with a roll of curtain material that had been waiting patiently in my laundry for a decade. Over the next year I was able to build up two good classes in the art gallery on Saturdays, gaining experience and confidence in teaching without any pressure, learning as I went.
Then I took a break from teaching for about a year until Rebecca approached me in August last year to teach classes at her studio.
Working at a full time day job does hinder my progress as a teacher, but such is life. I feel honoured and blessed to be able to teach at all, to pass on to others what I have learned, to care for others in their struggle to become more aware and connected to their inner universe.
Along with the decision to take on this class comes the parallel decision to enroll in the Anatomy and Physiology modules of the yoga teacher training course. Committed I now am. So it’s full steam ahead as a teacher with no looking back.
Darren’s Class
Both my shoulders were weak this morning because I taught a class last night focusing on shoulders (funny how we teach what we most need to learn!).
The highlight this morning was working into Kapotasana. We do it first laying back over a chair with a rolled up blanket under the tailbone and feet behind the front rung of the chair. Then we assume Ustrasana close to the wall, and reach back to walk the hands down then up the wall a few times before settling the elbows (almost) to the floor. Darren used me as a model this morning and moved my hands just one inch back and bingo…hands touched toes. Nice surprise. Then we eased out of the deep backbends by doing about six Urdhva Dhanurasanas. Insult to injury really.
My schedule these days:
Monday - work 9-5; teach yoga 7.30-9pm
Tuesday - Ashtanga practice 6-8am; work 9-5
Wednesday - Ashtanga practice 6-8am; work 12-7.30pm
Thursday - Ashtanga practice 6-8am; work 9-5; teach 7.30-9pm
Friday - Darrens class 6-8am; work 9-5
Saturday - Teach 7.45-9.15am and 10-11.30am; Anatomy & Physio course 2-5pm
Sunday - Surfing/bushwalking or occasionally sleeping in/visit parents
And in the cracks between my schedule, I cook my son’s dinner every night, visit my daughter and her new baby at least weekly, visit my parents on Sundays, and try to see my neglected boyfriend whenever I can. Oh, and blogging too.
Just watching the changes, the unfolding of life as I move through it, listening to the silent messages of the universe, seeking out the direction of the flow and surrendering to it. Letting life live me.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Yoga Teaching
The past week of practice has been overshadowed by a decision I had to make which overtook and obsessed me to the frozen point of indecision. As I agonized over the decision of whether or not to take on another permanent Level 1 yoga class, all other activities this week sort of blurred into non-significance. The decision almost took on life-threatening proportions, and no amount of logical, list the pros and cons rationale was helping. Not sure why it was such a big decision – maybe it signified a committed choice to a path I’ve been side stepping for so long. I don’t commit easily.
It reminds me of a little saying: “Men aren’t really afraid of commitment, they’re just afraid of committing to the wrong person.”
I’m not a man, but I am a Gemini.
Choosing to take on another class feels like an irreversible decision, although in reality I could pull out whenever I wanted. Maybe my reality is different. On an invisible level, taking on this class marks a serious turning point for me…accepting my destiny perhaps…a commitment to a noble life devoted to developing the skills that will help and uplift others. The beautiful grace of the universe has eloquently carved out this pathway for me and I’ve been reluctant to follow it.
When I look back at how I began teaching yoga, it was almost forced upon me by the divine will – there was no denying how opportunities just arose. I’ll never forget finding an envelope containing $500 under my door one day with a card which said “Just for being you”. To this day, I don’t know who did that. But it came at a time when I’d been teaching some yoga to a couple of friends in my lounge room and word had spread and others wanted to come along. I thought about expanding the lounge room session and moving it to the art gallery space where I worked, but I didn’t really have any props and equipment. And presto, $500 under the door. I was stunned and moved to tears; the boss was happy for me to use the space so I bought mats and blankets, had some blocks made and turned a couple of disused futons into lovely bolsters with a roll of curtain material that had been waiting patiently in my laundry for a decade. Over the next year I was able to build up two good classes in the art gallery on Saturdays, gaining experience and confidence in teaching without any pressure, learning as I went.
Then I took a break from teaching for about a year until Rebecca approached me in August last year to teach classes at her studio.
Working at a full time day job does hinder my progress as a teacher, but such is life. I feel honoured and blessed to be able to teach at all, to pass on to others what I have learned, to care for others in their struggle to become more aware and connected to their inner universe.
Along with the decision to take on this class comes the parallel decision to enroll in the Anatomy and Physiology modules of the yoga teacher training course. Committed I now am. So it’s full steam ahead as a teacher with no looking back.
Darren’s Class
Both my shoulders were weak this morning because I taught a class last night focusing on shoulders (funny how we teach what we most need to learn!).
The highlight this morning was working into Kapotasana. We do it first laying back over a chair with a rolled up blanket under the tailbone and feet behind the front rung of the chair. Then we assume Ustrasana close to the wall, and reach back to walk the hands down then up the wall a few times before settling the elbows (almost) to the floor. Darren used me as a model this morning and moved my hands just one inch back and bingo…hands touched toes. Nice surprise. Then we eased out of the deep backbends by doing about six Urdhva Dhanurasanas. Insult to injury really.
My schedule these days:
Monday - work 9-5; teach yoga 7.30-9pm
Tuesday - Ashtanga practice 6-8am; work 9-5
Wednesday - Ashtanga practice 6-8am; work 12-7.30pm
Thursday - Ashtanga practice 6-8am; work 9-5; teach 7.30-9pm
Friday - Darrens class 6-8am; work 9-5
Saturday - Teach 7.45-9.15am and 10-11.30am; Anatomy & Physio course 2-5pm
Sunday - Surfing/bushwalking or occasionally sleeping in/visit parents
And in the cracks between my schedule, I cook my son’s dinner every night, visit my daughter and her new baby at least weekly, visit my parents on Sundays, and try to see my neglected boyfriend whenever I can. Oh, and blogging too.
Just watching the changes, the unfolding of life as I move through it, listening to the silent messages of the universe, seeking out the direction of the flow and surrendering to it. Letting life live me.
____________________________________________________________________________________
