Diary of a yoga nobodhi

Wednesday 7th July 2004

A better practice today. Bandha focus is increasing daily. It’s such an “ah ha” feeling when I get it, because I feel it instantly straightens and aligns the pose. I don’t need to think about my alignment – the pose sort of corrects itself from the inside out.

Practice notes from today:
- I’m trying to go the next step in Parivritta Parsvakonasana and wrap my arms around my supporting leg like this, but I haven’t quite got a grasp of it yet.
- Bound both sides in Marichyasana D and Pasasana.
- Worked Kurmasana strongly but felt the achey after effects of it in my lower back for quite a while after practice. I remember feeling it most when my lower back was curled over in Pindasana.
- Got a real nice curve happening in Parsva Dhanurasana instead of my usual half-hearted roll over and have a rest here and hope it looks round enough. Today I actually worked in it and pressed the pose open as if I was curving around a beach ball.
- Only did 2 dropbacks before bailing out.

I finally bought a squirt bottle yesterday for Garbha Pindasana but forgot to bring it to practice. I don’t think Angie and Kosta can get into full Padmasana at the moment because of their knee problems so I may be alone with this one. I’ve been lazy in this pose since I stopped going to Mysore practices at the shala – just wrapping my arms around the outside of my legs instead of threading them through and putting hands to chin. A bit slack really and I know it. I really need to start doing the entire practice with more juice, like I used to at the shala, as if the teacher is present, as if I’m really serious about it.

What’s the secret to rolling up from this position into Urdhva Mukha Paschimottanasana?
I roll up so easily to a perfect balance in Ubhaya Padangusthasana (straight legs all the way and holding the big toes).
How much harder can it be to do the same action holding the outer edges of the feet????
Such a small change in hand position, huge change in difficulty. I usually give it 3 or 4 tries before giving up, sitting up and assuming the final pose with that little feeling of defeat. I’ve been trying for over a year now and it’s not any closer…what an interesting puzzle to solve!

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Tuesday 6th July 2004

Just a plain primary practice today – no dropbacks, no second series poses. I felt a little lethargic and inflexible, no doubt due in some part to the decadent cake I made and have been eating over the last few days. An increase in sugar consumption really affects the quality of my practice, not only my physical state, but my mental and emotional state as well because they’re all connected and an impact on one aspect affects the entire matrix.
Despite this, I can see a gradual increase in my focus on the bandhas.
It’s like progressing in meditation: when your mind wanders, you bring it back, over and over and over. You forget, then you remember. Progress is remembering more often and retaining the focus longer before wandering off again. When I remember to shift my focus from the alignment of the pose to the internal dynamic of the bandhas, my body and my practice immediately lighten and the alignment just comes. This tentative exploration into generating and moving internal energy is a journey into wonderland.

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