Tuesday 13th July 2004
A lame practice by Ashtanga standards today. I know I keep saying this but I’m continually amazed at how the practice reveals the truth of what’s really going on beneath the surface of our lives. Again I started this morning’s practice full of vitality, positive, happy, energetic, even hoping to add Supta Vajrasana on to my practice from today after being pushed past my backbending limits in Darren’s class last Friday.
But as I moved through the Surja Namaskars, I was aware of the difficulty I was having staying focused on the bandhas. With each return to the Dog Pose pause, I am given a fresh opportunity to re-engage and work the three bandhas if I’ve lost them. But that focus was elusive - it was just a struggle today – there was a fogginess clouding my mind that I couldn’t break through.
Pose by pose as I proceeded, my energy was draining away; the vinyasas got progressively slower and I felt on the precipice of sinking into sleep while holding each pose.
I gave up after Marichyasana C – no use flogging a dead horse. Just held a couple of long, quiet Urdhva Dhanurasanas and moved to the finishing inversion sequence.
After that I sat in meditation for about 20 minutes – 20 minutes of treading water.
But despite this lame practice, I quite enjoyed myself. There was a complete acceptance of what was (or wasn’t) happening. Approaching each new Ashtanga practice with openness and curiosity is such a different mindset – what will I find today? And whatever is found becomes wonderful because it illuminates your true self – no judgement, not wanting it to be different; not needing a super performance practice; NO EGO. Just exploring the everchanging inner landscape like a traveller in a foreign land.
I did notice this morning lots of little creaky openings. It’s like my body contains millions of hairline cracks that need to be pried open. Today the cracks were mostly closed up and small movements disturbed their comfortable closure. Other days the cracks resemble the gaping ones in the corner of my bedroom wall. With a little prod, they’ll open up easily to let the breezes blow through.
Poor Renate started her practice this morning with a rasping thick cough which has been bothering her for a few days. She almost didn’t come this morning. She coughed almost non stop through the Surja Namaskars but then it stopped. The heat and movement dislodged it. I think she was amazed at the sudden change.
So now I’m contemplating the cause of a lame practice. Maybe it’s because Tuesday’s the first practice after 3 days off – I might check back over my blog notes (all the ones I don’t get time to post) to see if there is a pattern, if Tuesday is always like this.
If I don’t take the time to reflect on the information the practice presents to me, the opportunity is lost – the work done for nothing – it becomes a physical workout instead of a spiritual practice. To be a spiritual practice it must be done with the intention of uncovering the true divine self.
Analyzing and delving deeply will uncover some surprises – things that are brushed off, swept beneath our consciousness in denial, bad habits we continue to indulge etc. They need to be identified, then action taken to resolve or change them – the process of progressively purifying the body and mind – a commitment to self study and continual improvement – a steadfast focus on the only true goal of this existence – reunion with the source and living from this enlightened understanding.
___________________________________________________________________________
A lame practice by Ashtanga standards today. I know I keep saying this but I’m continually amazed at how the practice reveals the truth of what’s really going on beneath the surface of our lives. Again I started this morning’s practice full of vitality, positive, happy, energetic, even hoping to add Supta Vajrasana on to my practice from today after being pushed past my backbending limits in Darren’s class last Friday.
But as I moved through the Surja Namaskars, I was aware of the difficulty I was having staying focused on the bandhas. With each return to the Dog Pose pause, I am given a fresh opportunity to re-engage and work the three bandhas if I’ve lost them. But that focus was elusive - it was just a struggle today – there was a fogginess clouding my mind that I couldn’t break through.
Pose by pose as I proceeded, my energy was draining away; the vinyasas got progressively slower and I felt on the precipice of sinking into sleep while holding each pose.
I gave up after Marichyasana C – no use flogging a dead horse. Just held a couple of long, quiet Urdhva Dhanurasanas and moved to the finishing inversion sequence.
After that I sat in meditation for about 20 minutes – 20 minutes of treading water.
But despite this lame practice, I quite enjoyed myself. There was a complete acceptance of what was (or wasn’t) happening. Approaching each new Ashtanga practice with openness and curiosity is such a different mindset – what will I find today? And whatever is found becomes wonderful because it illuminates your true self – no judgement, not wanting it to be different; not needing a super performance practice; NO EGO. Just exploring the everchanging inner landscape like a traveller in a foreign land.
I did notice this morning lots of little creaky openings. It’s like my body contains millions of hairline cracks that need to be pried open. Today the cracks were mostly closed up and small movements disturbed their comfortable closure. Other days the cracks resemble the gaping ones in the corner of my bedroom wall. With a little prod, they’ll open up easily to let the breezes blow through.
Poor Renate started her practice this morning with a rasping thick cough which has been bothering her for a few days. She almost didn’t come this morning. She coughed almost non stop through the Surja Namaskars but then it stopped. The heat and movement dislodged it. I think she was amazed at the sudden change.
So now I’m contemplating the cause of a lame practice. Maybe it’s because Tuesday’s the first practice after 3 days off – I might check back over my blog notes (all the ones I don’t get time to post) to see if there is a pattern, if Tuesday is always like this.
If I don’t take the time to reflect on the information the practice presents to me, the opportunity is lost – the work done for nothing – it becomes a physical workout instead of a spiritual practice. To be a spiritual practice it must be done with the intention of uncovering the true divine self.
Analyzing and delving deeply will uncover some surprises – things that are brushed off, swept beneath our consciousness in denial, bad habits we continue to indulge etc. They need to be identified, then action taken to resolve or change them – the process of progressively purifying the body and mind – a commitment to self study and continual improvement – a steadfast focus on the only true goal of this existence – reunion with the source and living from this enlightened understanding.
___________________________________________________________________________
