_________________________________________________________________________
Friday 6th February
Yoga Politics
The local Iyengar studio opened up a Tuesday early morning session for free self practice starting this week. So Renate, Kosta and myself decided to do our practice there instead of in my shed. It was stunning to feel the intensity and flow of the energy that the three of us created– it sort of permeated and energised the entire space. One innocent girl came in to do her Iyengar practice about half an hour after we had started and asked if she was supposed to join in.
But despite our long association with the studio and its owners and teachers (Kosta teaches there) the Ashtanga practice did not go down too well. In hindsight it may have been a bit provocative, but we decided to take the chance that they would welcome all yoga practitioners in the true spirit of yoga. NOT SO. Oh well, back to the shed next Tuesday. The good thing is it stirred up some really healthy discussion. Say no more.
Hamstring Woes and Getting Krouncasana
I went to another Iyengar session on Wednesday night. It was my third Wednesday night session but it may have to be my last one. The extremely long holdings were stressing my physical body and my nervous system and felt counterproductive to my wellbeing. I knew what to expect but went with the intention of coming out of poses early if I needed to and of not moving fully into poses. Instead of my deep folding into Uttanasana/Paschimottanasana with chest sliding past my knees, I held back half way, almost with my spine horizontal in Uttanasana rather than vertical to the floor; even with this modification, because the pose was held for so long my body kept resisting by going into a sort of nervous shock. I came out of the class not only with a tender Hamstring but feeling depressed and quite emotional. Got home at 11pm then managed to get up early for Mysore class the next morning even though the hamstring was bothering me. By Janu Sirsasana I felt some tears welling up in response to the hamstring injury. I calmly dissolved them into composure (by some magical kind of alchemy) and finished the rest of Primary with a softened heart.
Then I got to Pasasana. Although Simi helped me, it just went from bad to worse and I got completely confused. She tried to reassure me by saying that Pasasana could take over a year to master. I thought “that’s OK, rest of second series poses next lifetime”. Then she gave me Krouncasana “to finish on a positive note”! Well that pose I mastered years ago. She wrapped herself around my torso and leg to squeeze them deeper together (as only a confident Ashtanga teacher can do) and although I momentarily feared the worst for my hamstring, it was fine.
Having worked on the Primary series for about 10 months now, suddenly these two new poses have injected a freshness and a new challenge into my life.
But all this talk about poses when it’s not even about the poses…everything we do and feel on the mat is a metaphor for issues of much deeper significance. It’s on the mat that we are confronted time and time again and given the opportunities to cultivate qualities such as discipline, devotion, acceptance, joy, sensitivity, humility, letting go. We are forced to face change, disappointment, our fears, fluctuations, secrets, vulnerabilities, victories and our ego.
It’s not about the poses at all.
_________________________________________________________________________
Monday 2nd February
For the last 3 weeks I’ve been working a 4 day week having Mondays off. From next week I’ll finally cut down to a 3 day working week. What a luxury to have these days off to slow down, reflect, to catch up with myself, to connect my internal world with my external world. Full steam ahead. I’m teaching 4 classes a week at Rebecca’s studio now which will increase to 5 in a couple of weeks. We mould our destiny with every single choice we make, great and small. When living a life of inner integrity, listening to our heart, our choices reflect our truest nature and the outcomes of all our actions become the stepping stones to unlocking our potential for living an enlightened life.
Shadow Yoga
I went to a demonstration of Shadow Yoga last night. Emma Balnaves (partner of Shandor Remete) will be doing a workshop here next week so it was a precursor to that. Emma and Shandor are regulars here, being Emma’s home city and Shandor’s early yoga territory. Most of our yoga teachers have been trained or influenced by Shandor at some stage of their practice. We were lucky to have him living and teaching here during his strong Iyengar days. He trained up some very strong and dedicated teachers. Many of those teachers have remained faithful to Shandor and have integrated some of the ever changing and evolving Shadow Yoga practices (Shandor’s a Gemini) into their practice and teaching; the purists and the independent thinkers remain skeptical.
So I was curious to find out more about it.
Emma was very inspiring, not only in the practice she demonstrated, but also in how she interacted with the 40 or so students and teachers who’d come to watch and listen. She emphasized the use of Nauli Kriya which I’m not overly familiar with. It’s another layer which I’ll probably explore in time, but not right now – I’ve got enough to work with (like good old Pasasana). I can see that there’s a lot of internal movement of ch’i/prana in the Shadow Yoga which could add an interesting layer to and enhance an Ashtanga practice, on top of the tristana. For now I’ll just add all that to the overflowing pool of information being stored in my mental archives. One day when the time is ripe, I may get to pull it out. For me, more information is just more stimulation and it’s not always beneficial. Digging deeply in one hole we eventually get to the center of the earth, not by digging lots of shallow holes. I’ve seen first hand how a broadening knowledge base contributes to pride in people, bolstering their egos. Genuine spiritual growth comes from a deepening wisdom and is evidenced in a growing humility. The accumulation of knowledge is just a false diversion.
Mysore Practice
Focused and strong this morning. FINALLY managed to rock all the way around in Garbha Pindasana, although it took 12 rolls. Where did the momentum to actually DO 12 rolls come from? Something’s shifted. I love these shifts but they’re a mystery to me – one day it just seems to happen – like enlightenment I guess. It’s just given to you as a gift by the grace of God. “Here, have this, I’m feeling generous today.” Please God for my birthday can you give me a boost up to Kukkutasana?
The whole practice this morning was strong, calm and clear, moving in and out of each pose with a rhythmic flow, and maintaining that flow within the stillness of each pose. Managed to balance in a most beee-u-ti-ful Handstand: strong, light, no effort, and floated down to a soft Chaturanga landing. But damn it I got so engrossed in the sequence I forgot to do Pasasana.
_________________________________________________________________________
Friday 30th January
Led Primary class this morning.
Got 7 full rolls in Garbha Pindasana this morning. How did this happen? I don’t even know what I was doing right or different to make this happen! This Ashtanga practices mystifies and amazes me.
I felt so well after the practice this morning – uplifted, beaming, luminous. I love this practice with all its ups and downs. It takes courage, faith, persistence, devotion. The fluctuations of the mind are clearly obvious day in and day out and that is what you work with. The physical practice is just a mirror and a tool to move us inward towards our divine center.
___________________________________________________________________________
Wednesday 28th January
Practice and Devotion
What a drama getting myself out of bed this morning…
Set the alarm for 5.10am as usual but when it went off the fuss began – world war 3 erupted. My body was tired from 2 consecutive days of strong practice and I did not want to get up…so easy to just rollover and snuggle up for an extra 2 hours of well deserved sleep.
The hitch was that I’d arranged to meet my boyfriend at a city café for breakfast after practice. That was easy to overcome I thought – I could miss practice and drive in anyway. But I’d told Simi (my teacher) that I’d be at practice today. I can’t bear to wimp out on when I’ve state that so adamantly.
But the other side of me was saying I also need to be sensitive and compassionate to my physical and emotional needs, not overdo it and burn myself out. I feel like I’m always playing at the edge – not pushing the edge aggressively, but living permanently on the edge. Funny how the edge keeps shifting though.
So I managed to snap myself out of bed and get there.
The first half of practice was really lame so I figured I’d made a wrong decision to go. I felt very close to fainting a couple of times so I took it very easy through the standing poses, breathing a little quicker than usual to shorten and deintensify the engagement. After Virabhadrasana B I move up into a most perfectly lined up bone-on-bone handstand. Time stood still. It felt like minutes but was probably about 5-7 good seconds, not a big deal maybe, but the quality of stillness was memorable. Then I managed to slowly and effortlessly control most of the descent to Chaturanga. I'm beginning to think that the key to a perfectly poised handstand is the strong upward lift of prana mobilised by engaging the bandhas in the preceding Warrior poses.
Garbha Pindasana was deep and strong but I totally fell to pieces when I started to roll. This is not improving and I don't know why. I’m sure there’s a secret to this rolling business that nobody’s telling me. Didn’t even bother having a second try this morning. Just pulled my arms out and sat for a few seconds feeling completely dejected as if I’d been intravenously injected with melancholy. Then I just let it go and moved on.
Simi placed my legs behind my head in Supta Kurmasana, but I can’t understand how they stay there. Funny, unfamiliar body in this pose. I can’t tell where my limbs are.
So many things to practice. Getting out of bed without the useless drama is one.
Friday 6th February
Yoga Politics
The local Iyengar studio opened up a Tuesday early morning session for free self practice starting this week. So Renate, Kosta and myself decided to do our practice there instead of in my shed. It was stunning to feel the intensity and flow of the energy that the three of us created– it sort of permeated and energised the entire space. One innocent girl came in to do her Iyengar practice about half an hour after we had started and asked if she was supposed to join in.
But despite our long association with the studio and its owners and teachers (Kosta teaches there) the Ashtanga practice did not go down too well. In hindsight it may have been a bit provocative, but we decided to take the chance that they would welcome all yoga practitioners in the true spirit of yoga. NOT SO. Oh well, back to the shed next Tuesday. The good thing is it stirred up some really healthy discussion. Say no more.
Hamstring Woes and Getting Krouncasana
I went to another Iyengar session on Wednesday night. It was my third Wednesday night session but it may have to be my last one. The extremely long holdings were stressing my physical body and my nervous system and felt counterproductive to my wellbeing. I knew what to expect but went with the intention of coming out of poses early if I needed to and of not moving fully into poses. Instead of my deep folding into Uttanasana/Paschimottanasana with chest sliding past my knees, I held back half way, almost with my spine horizontal in Uttanasana rather than vertical to the floor; even with this modification, because the pose was held for so long my body kept resisting by going into a sort of nervous shock. I came out of the class not only with a tender Hamstring but feeling depressed and quite emotional. Got home at 11pm then managed to get up early for Mysore class the next morning even though the hamstring was bothering me. By Janu Sirsasana I felt some tears welling up in response to the hamstring injury. I calmly dissolved them into composure (by some magical kind of alchemy) and finished the rest of Primary with a softened heart.
Then I got to Pasasana. Although Simi helped me, it just went from bad to worse and I got completely confused. She tried to reassure me by saying that Pasasana could take over a year to master. I thought “that’s OK, rest of second series poses next lifetime”. Then she gave me Krouncasana “to finish on a positive note”! Well that pose I mastered years ago. She wrapped herself around my torso and leg to squeeze them deeper together (as only a confident Ashtanga teacher can do) and although I momentarily feared the worst for my hamstring, it was fine.
Having worked on the Primary series for about 10 months now, suddenly these two new poses have injected a freshness and a new challenge into my life.
But all this talk about poses when it’s not even about the poses…everything we do and feel on the mat is a metaphor for issues of much deeper significance. It’s on the mat that we are confronted time and time again and given the opportunities to cultivate qualities such as discipline, devotion, acceptance, joy, sensitivity, humility, letting go. We are forced to face change, disappointment, our fears, fluctuations, secrets, vulnerabilities, victories and our ego.
It’s not about the poses at all.
_________________________________________________________________________
Monday 2nd February
For the last 3 weeks I’ve been working a 4 day week having Mondays off. From next week I’ll finally cut down to a 3 day working week. What a luxury to have these days off to slow down, reflect, to catch up with myself, to connect my internal world with my external world. Full steam ahead. I’m teaching 4 classes a week at Rebecca’s studio now which will increase to 5 in a couple of weeks. We mould our destiny with every single choice we make, great and small. When living a life of inner integrity, listening to our heart, our choices reflect our truest nature and the outcomes of all our actions become the stepping stones to unlocking our potential for living an enlightened life.
Shadow Yoga
I went to a demonstration of Shadow Yoga last night. Emma Balnaves (partner of Shandor Remete) will be doing a workshop here next week so it was a precursor to that. Emma and Shandor are regulars here, being Emma’s home city and Shandor’s early yoga territory. Most of our yoga teachers have been trained or influenced by Shandor at some stage of their practice. We were lucky to have him living and teaching here during his strong Iyengar days. He trained up some very strong and dedicated teachers. Many of those teachers have remained faithful to Shandor and have integrated some of the ever changing and evolving Shadow Yoga practices (Shandor’s a Gemini) into their practice and teaching; the purists and the independent thinkers remain skeptical.
So I was curious to find out more about it.
Emma was very inspiring, not only in the practice she demonstrated, but also in how she interacted with the 40 or so students and teachers who’d come to watch and listen. She emphasized the use of Nauli Kriya which I’m not overly familiar with. It’s another layer which I’ll probably explore in time, but not right now – I’ve got enough to work with (like good old Pasasana). I can see that there’s a lot of internal movement of ch’i/prana in the Shadow Yoga which could add an interesting layer to and enhance an Ashtanga practice, on top of the tristana. For now I’ll just add all that to the overflowing pool of information being stored in my mental archives. One day when the time is ripe, I may get to pull it out. For me, more information is just more stimulation and it’s not always beneficial. Digging deeply in one hole we eventually get to the center of the earth, not by digging lots of shallow holes. I’ve seen first hand how a broadening knowledge base contributes to pride in people, bolstering their egos. Genuine spiritual growth comes from a deepening wisdom and is evidenced in a growing humility. The accumulation of knowledge is just a false diversion.
Mysore Practice
Focused and strong this morning. FINALLY managed to rock all the way around in Garbha Pindasana, although it took 12 rolls. Where did the momentum to actually DO 12 rolls come from? Something’s shifted. I love these shifts but they’re a mystery to me – one day it just seems to happen – like enlightenment I guess. It’s just given to you as a gift by the grace of God. “Here, have this, I’m feeling generous today.” Please God for my birthday can you give me a boost up to Kukkutasana?
The whole practice this morning was strong, calm and clear, moving in and out of each pose with a rhythmic flow, and maintaining that flow within the stillness of each pose. Managed to balance in a most beee-u-ti-ful Handstand: strong, light, no effort, and floated down to a soft Chaturanga landing. But damn it I got so engrossed in the sequence I forgot to do Pasasana.
_________________________________________________________________________
Friday 30th January
Led Primary class this morning.
Got 7 full rolls in Garbha Pindasana this morning. How did this happen? I don’t even know what I was doing right or different to make this happen! This Ashtanga practices mystifies and amazes me.
I felt so well after the practice this morning – uplifted, beaming, luminous. I love this practice with all its ups and downs. It takes courage, faith, persistence, devotion. The fluctuations of the mind are clearly obvious day in and day out and that is what you work with. The physical practice is just a mirror and a tool to move us inward towards our divine center.
___________________________________________________________________________
Wednesday 28th January
Practice and Devotion
What a drama getting myself out of bed this morning…
Set the alarm for 5.10am as usual but when it went off the fuss began – world war 3 erupted. My body was tired from 2 consecutive days of strong practice and I did not want to get up…so easy to just rollover and snuggle up for an extra 2 hours of well deserved sleep.
The hitch was that I’d arranged to meet my boyfriend at a city café for breakfast after practice. That was easy to overcome I thought – I could miss practice and drive in anyway. But I’d told Simi (my teacher) that I’d be at practice today. I can’t bear to wimp out on when I’ve state that so adamantly.
But the other side of me was saying I also need to be sensitive and compassionate to my physical and emotional needs, not overdo it and burn myself out. I feel like I’m always playing at the edge – not pushing the edge aggressively, but living permanently on the edge. Funny how the edge keeps shifting though.
So I managed to snap myself out of bed and get there.
The first half of practice was really lame so I figured I’d made a wrong decision to go. I felt very close to fainting a couple of times so I took it very easy through the standing poses, breathing a little quicker than usual to shorten and deintensify the engagement. After Virabhadrasana B I move up into a most perfectly lined up bone-on-bone handstand. Time stood still. It felt like minutes but was probably about 5-7 good seconds, not a big deal maybe, but the quality of stillness was memorable. Then I managed to slowly and effortlessly control most of the descent to Chaturanga. I'm beginning to think that the key to a perfectly poised handstand is the strong upward lift of prana mobilised by engaging the bandhas in the preceding Warrior poses.
Garbha Pindasana was deep and strong but I totally fell to pieces when I started to roll. This is not improving and I don't know why. I’m sure there’s a secret to this rolling business that nobody’s telling me. Didn’t even bother having a second try this morning. Just pulled my arms out and sat for a few seconds feeling completely dejected as if I’d been intravenously injected with melancholy. Then I just let it go and moved on.
Simi placed my legs behind my head in Supta Kurmasana, but I can’t understand how they stay there. Funny, unfamiliar body in this pose. I can’t tell where my limbs are.
So many things to practice. Getting out of bed without the useless drama is one.
