Thursday 17th February 2005
Meditation
10 past 6 and I’m in the quiet Gallery space this morning and no-one had showed up for our Ashtanga self practice session. I took it as an opportunity to sit in meditation for a change. Readjusted the blankets, moved the heater a little closer and put my thick fluffy bedsocks back on. Assumed a balanced half Padmasana and began the descent.
Then Sasha turned up late (after laying in bed going through the “will I, won’t I, why do I, why should I, no I won’t, dammit yes I will”, routine that we all know so well!)
For a moment I pondered doing the practice with her, then decided not to. The prospect of a full hour and a half of meditation seemed more inviting and more challenging. Sasha I think did a full primary practice but she was especially quiet about it because I was sitting, so it wasn’t distracting at all. Being able to sit for a solid amount of time is a rare gift for me so I blocked out Sasha’s presence and collected myself into an autonomous, self-absorbed cocoon.
Once established in a stable position, having adjusted and aligned my body so the spinal energy was unobstructed, pratyahara began…withdrawing the senses – sometimes it just happens naturally if the mind is not too disturbed. The turning inward of the mind feels like finally coming home – you feel like you’re moving towards an open door, it’s beckoning you, drawing you closer, inviting and welcoming. Outer distractions of noise and movement hold no allure, you turn towards home and don’t look back.
Then dharana, concentration, for me this is watching the breath movement at the tip of the nose as it enters and leaves the body. My attention wavers, the mind running all over the place. Over and over I keep bringing it back to the breath, then when I’m not looking, it runs away again. Again and again and again I bring it back. I watch the breath change and all the subtle qualities and nuances that I notice become fascinating. I love passing through this part of the journey, this intimate relating with the breath. I fall in love with my breath and want to see it and feel it from every possible angle, watch it move, discover its moods and the changing rainbow of breath colours.
Once the mind has quietened down a little, there is the conscious attempt to let go of the focus on the breath and move more deeply into a truer meditative state – dhyana. This morning I used each exhalation to let go…let go of everything in my life, as if I had just died and all my obligations, responsibilities, relationships, possessions no longer mattered. At that shocking point of death, when we realize death has truly come, and it’s final, we will see the futility of clinging on to what we had in our life. What a revelation it is to know this truth while I’m still alive.
Meditation can bring about this profound realization that beneath our lives we are at peace. It is always there.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Meditation
10 past 6 and I’m in the quiet Gallery space this morning and no-one had showed up for our Ashtanga self practice session. I took it as an opportunity to sit in meditation for a change. Readjusted the blankets, moved the heater a little closer and put my thick fluffy bedsocks back on. Assumed a balanced half Padmasana and began the descent.
Then Sasha turned up late (after laying in bed going through the “will I, won’t I, why do I, why should I, no I won’t, dammit yes I will”, routine that we all know so well!)
For a moment I pondered doing the practice with her, then decided not to. The prospect of a full hour and a half of meditation seemed more inviting and more challenging. Sasha I think did a full primary practice but she was especially quiet about it because I was sitting, so it wasn’t distracting at all. Being able to sit for a solid amount of time is a rare gift for me so I blocked out Sasha’s presence and collected myself into an autonomous, self-absorbed cocoon.
Once established in a stable position, having adjusted and aligned my body so the spinal energy was unobstructed, pratyahara began…withdrawing the senses – sometimes it just happens naturally if the mind is not too disturbed. The turning inward of the mind feels like finally coming home – you feel like you’re moving towards an open door, it’s beckoning you, drawing you closer, inviting and welcoming. Outer distractions of noise and movement hold no allure, you turn towards home and don’t look back.
Then dharana, concentration, for me this is watching the breath movement at the tip of the nose as it enters and leaves the body. My attention wavers, the mind running all over the place. Over and over I keep bringing it back to the breath, then when I’m not looking, it runs away again. Again and again and again I bring it back. I watch the breath change and all the subtle qualities and nuances that I notice become fascinating. I love passing through this part of the journey, this intimate relating with the breath. I fall in love with my breath and want to see it and feel it from every possible angle, watch it move, discover its moods and the changing rainbow of breath colours.
Once the mind has quietened down a little, there is the conscious attempt to let go of the focus on the breath and move more deeply into a truer meditative state – dhyana. This morning I used each exhalation to let go…let go of everything in my life, as if I had just died and all my obligations, responsibilities, relationships, possessions no longer mattered. At that shocking point of death, when we realize death has truly come, and it’s final, we will see the futility of clinging on to what we had in our life. What a revelation it is to know this truth while I’m still alive.
Meditation can bring about this profound realization that beneath our lives we are at peace. It is always there.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Monday 7th February 2005
My first Mysore class for a few months, and my first real practice for a few weeks – not a good combination.
I had to get up at 5am this morning to get to Mysore class with David Roche, because I’m housesitting my boyfriend’s beachside place for a couple of weeks. It’s much further away from the shala, my workplace and the city. But I was determined to get to Mysore class. My practice needs a good shake up and my head needs to be opened up a bit.
I found the few adjustments that David gave me this morning quite challenging to my belief system – that’s gotta be good.
Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana – holding my right leg up and to the side, David encouraged my right upper groin back with his finger, further, further, until it felt like my bum was sticking out, almost a forward tilt of the pelvis (like Dog Pose). I’ve always tried to keep my tail in and the front of my pelvis lifting up and opening outwards, so this was the opposite kind of action.
Marichyasana C and Marichy D
David had me sitting up with a block (blasphemous prop) under the buttock of my bent leg; my other buttock was way up off the floor. I couldn’t really understand what he was getting at here, asking me to move the outer thigh of the bent leg outwards. It wouldn’t move and I just go a bit confused.
In Marichy D while up on the block, when twisting to the right he wanted me to curl the right side of my lumbar over – it didn’t move, dead spot, confusing again.
Stiff Right Knee
David gave me some useful help with this knee of mine that’s been deteriorating into rigamortis. When bending the knee into the Padmasana position for Ardha Baddha Padma Paschimottanasana, he showed me how I needed to tuck the buttock flesh under more, like pulling the sitting bones together to rotate the femur out more.
Urdhva Dhanurasana
David stood over me and squeezed my knees together, making me press them outwards while drawing the hip points together and spreading sitting bones and sacral area. He pointed out how my right leg was pressing out more than my left. When I tried to press outwards more with my left leg it wouldn’t co-operate.
There are all these little areas in my body that have gradually sunk into complacent habits over the years. I like finding them then trying to wake them up.
I managed to sneak in two dropbacks while David was assisting someone else. I could have waited for him to come over to me, but I felt mentally worn out by that time and took the easy way out, not really wanting to push past my breaking point this morning.
Summing it all up, I felt a bit awkward in my first class back with David. The lighting in the shala is kept low which doesn’t help balancing. My internal bandha focus was poor and only really kicked in during the finishing poses. My breath sounded alien; it wasn’t my usual Ujjiyi breath, it was more on the surface, more behind th nose, a strange unfamiliar sound to it that created even more distance between me and my practice (according to Emma Balnaves, the Ujjiyi breath should be felt beneath the ears, not behind the nose).
And with David’s penetrating gaze occasionally directed my way, I was overly conscious of all the flaws in my practice like my strange breath and my lazy jump throughs. But I sort of didn’t mind him watching me because at least he showed interest in my practice and gave me quite a few adjustments.
Great to be back doing Mysore at the shala, even if it is only Mondays for now.
__________________________________________________________________
Monday 31st January 2005
Session two of Emma Balnaves ‘Shadow Yoga’ workshop and I won't be continuing with the other 4 sessions. I’m the only one there who hasn’t done ‘Shadow Yoga’ before and in this city, there are definite yoga “cliques”. I felt like a rebel gatecrasher, even though I went with a very open mind hoping to learn a bit more about this new stream of yoga that Shandor’s spreading over the globe.
But it’s not for me and now I know.
Sequence noted so far:
From standing (I can’t remember what name Emma gave the standing position but it wasn’t Tadasana or Samastithi – how many names can there be?)
Exhale and engage a full Uddiyana, drop the head back and look up, arms still by the sides,
Inhale raising arms out and up til hands touch in prayer position
Exhale hands down the front of the body in ch’i kung style (palms facing down, elbows bending out to the sides)
Repeat arms raises five times.
Bring hands in prayer position at the heart, step the feet out 4’ wide with toes pointing outwards. Exhale to a squat (thighs parallel to floor)
From the squat, inhale and extend the arms forward parallel to floor with palms together, exhale and wrap arms around back of legs with hands holding back of heels (like Malasana but with the feet apart)
Inhale and release arms stretching them back out in front, bringing palms together
Exhale and widen the stance then lunge to the left side bending left knee way past the ankle, place both hands together on the floor to the inside of the left foot, arms pressed straight and head up, spine parallel to floor.
Inhale stay in the lunge but extend arms parallel to the floor with palms together. The spine and arms here are in a straight line about 30 degrees to the side of the lunging thigh.
Exhale and swan dive the arms outwards and behind the back into reverse prayer position, lowering the head to the floor about a foot away from the inner ankle.
Inhale back up to last position (arms extended forward), open hands palms up as you exhale to the other side placing both hands to the floor inside the foot and repeat on this side.
Inhale to the centre, exhale to Prasaritta Padottanasana, head up (flat back) hands in line with feet. Inhale head to floor with Jalandhara Bandha then take hands over to Prasaritta Padottanasana C position.
Bring hands back in front, still in PP and twist to one side, both legs straight, hips square and both hands to one ankle.
The rest of my notes here get a bit obscure (almost not making sense) but I’ll include them anyway:
Bend left knee and grab left ankle with right hand, turn head to look under armpit.
Untwist and take left forearm to outside of right shin, wrapping wrist around outer ankle. Place right hand on top of left shin then straighten arms taking head towards left foot.
Release right arm, swing up and over, rotating from shoulder and grab left ankle with right hand, twist torso and lookup.
Undo the twist but stay holding ankles.
Release hands to Prasaritta Padottanasana and repeat to the other side.
This was as far as we got at the end of day 2.
Although there are some aspects of the ‘Shadow Yoga’ that I like already, they are probably things that are shared in common with Ashtanga – fluidity, the connected flow pattern of the poses, each position connecting nicely to the one before. bandha work, sequential arrangement of postures.
________________________________________________________________
Tuesday 25th January 2005
Feels like I had my first real practice in a long time. The three practices in the Gallery last week don’t count. They were all petty weak and unfocussed from what I remember. The aftermath from Glenn’s workshop perhaps.
Today I did every pose fully and properly, even touched my feet together in Supta Kurmasana. Flowed on easily into Pasasana and Krounchasana at the end and even did three good dropbacks, floating down to a super soft cushioned landing on each one. Very pleased with it all today.
Next week I’ll be doing a workshop with Emma Balnaves (Shandor’s partner). I haven’t worked with her before and haven’t done any Shadow Yoga, but I’m feeling playful and curious, so I’m going to have another little fling for a week. There are 6 sessions: the first one next Sunday night then it will be from 6-8am for the following 5 mornings.
Karma
I try to keep this journal exclusively about my physical yoga practice. It’s an intimate part of my life which I rarely share with anyone else. But my real yoga practice happens 24 hours a day. It’s not just 2 hours on the mat. It’s observing my life and the issues that arise that give me the opportunity to fix up all the parts that are not running smoothly. Practicing yoga, we practice a way of being in the world where you stop accumulating bad karma (eg. doing and saying anything with a negative effect) and allowing past karmic consequences to arise and be released in whatever way is necessary. Eventually we become karma free – no baggage – nothing to pay back, nothing to fear and living with integrity and joy. It’s then we can freely move forward to an elevated state of higher consciousness that is active in daily life. Doing the right thing at the right time, begins to occur naturally. You develop a sixth sense, a sensitivity and understanding of universal laws, the natural justice that prevails, and life becomes easy when you get in step with this. Peace is a permanent state from which all action arises.
So my yoga practice prevails and it feels like the few sticky areas remaining in my life are being methodically cleaned up.
__________________________________________________________________
Yoga Intensive with Glenn Ceresoli where I digress from Ashtanga for one week only.
DAY 5: Friday 14th January 2005: morning session
The last morning session and as Kosta and I predicted, Glenn finished it with the backbend grande finale. No spectacular, flashy poses – just good old Urdhva Dhanurasana to the max, about 5 long holdings, working to Glenn’s instructions.
Other poses we did:
Parighasana
The first time with back of the lower hand pressing into the shin of the extended leg and upper arm aiming towards a position parallel to the floor. The second go at the pose, we had to raise the lower arm away from the shin so that the arms were both parallel to each other and parallel to the floor, palms facing each other and extending out from the fingertips as if we were holding a ball between the hands and trying to push it away from the head.
Pressing the bent leg big toe into the floor activates that side of the pelvis and lifts that hip. The pubis then the navel move move horizontally to the bent leg side. The sitting bone under the extended leg presses forward and pulls under towards the opposite groin.
The second variation is much more dynamic because you don’t have the support of the lower hand against the extended leg to help leverand twist the torso. Raising this arm also puts more weight bearing responsibility on the spine which has to really find an integrity in its lengthening action to create support.
I’ve often used the basics of Parighasana to teach Trikonasana. They have similar actions and there’s something comforting about doing a couple of poses that mirror each other. The information gets assimilated better. Parighasana and Trikonasana articulate nicely into each other.
So after Parighasana we came to Tadasana.
I was nicely surprised to hear Glenn describe some primary actions that I assert when I teach this pose: pressing through the base of the big toe helps to create lift through the inner legs; outer shins squeeze inwards; inner groins roll back; top of femurs press back. Glenn insisted that the leg energy must feel contained as if the legs are one, like a pillar. To counteract the pressing back, the tailbone must lengthen and the back body energy press forward; the pelvic floor then naturally lifts up as the energy is directed from the peripheral body inwards.
Adho Mukha Svanasana
Uttanasana
Sometimes this feels like a balancing pose with the feet together. As I stood in Uttanasana, I could feel my weight oscillating between the left and right foot as Glenn talked about it. He directed us to press more firmly and evenly into the base of the big toes. I love doing this, trying to get to that lovely point where both legs are working in unison perfectly, feeling the oscillation decreasing bit by bit. Having one leg longer than the other means the weight is always lighter under my left foot and getting the weight even under both my feet even makes my hips uneven.
Oh well, you can’t have everything…
Ardha Chandrasana
Glenn demonstrated a precise and elegant way to move into Ardha Chandrasana, visualizing the body as a set of scales.
From Trikonasana, we had to slowly bend the front knee, focusing on the energetic force produced by pulling the skin of the heel from the inside to the outside of the heel, feeling the energy of the upper thigh (bent leg) rotating from the inner groin over the top of the leg to the outer thigh, under and back again. When you feel this spiralling energetic force, the entire thigh responds by turning out. It’s a more subtle prompt than the grosser instruction of keeping that knee pressed back.
So after bending the knee from Trikonasana with this in mind, take weight more over the front foot and then lower the torso over the bent leg thigh which, when visualizing a set of scales, tips the scales to one side so the back leg lightens up. As the bent leg slowly straightens, the torso must be kept close in to the thigh, so this will tip the scales further and the straight leg just floats up effortlessly to balance the diagonal line of the torso. It’s a very different feeling to the usual struggle, lifting the back leg up against the force of gravity which has a heaviness to it .
I tried to keep the whole ‘scales’ visualization alive during the stay in the pose and it made the long holding in Ardha Chandrasana a joyful experience. Perfecting the balance in a pose brings a pronounced light feeling of inner balance and equilibrium…until we had to descend - s l o w l y bending the knee, torso absolutely glued to the thigh throughout the descent, extended leg staying lifted, my body suddenly starting to shake as my leg strength falls away from deep in the hip, my alignment lost, my mindfulness faltering.
Adho Mukha Svanasana (Dog Pose)
Virabhadrasana 1
From Dog Pose, step forward to a deep lunge, then ground back heel and don’t move even one millimeter from the pelvis down as you raise the arms and torso to Virabhadrasana 1.
Every single person lifted their base away from the floor as they raised their torsos up into the pose.
What Glenn was asking for demanded extraordinary leg strength and strong energy through the hips. Staying low and stabilised in the lunge also hits into the lumbar a bit unless you direct the torso slightly forward. But when Glenn demonstrated it, I was gobsmacked at his awesome control - his legs and pelvis did not move. They were like steel supports as he lifted up from the invisible hinge in his hips.
Half Dog Pose to the Wasll
Adho Mukha Vrksasana (Handstand)
Half Handstand to the WallPressing the chest back to the wall.
Ustrasana
We used our hands to pull the hamstrings up.
In backbends, when implementing the correct pelvic tilt (pubis up, tailbone down), it tends to draw the quads up towards the hip points and the back thighs (hamstrings) down. Glenn brought attention to the opposite action in the quads and hamstrings and although I could work it this way, I’m still unclear on the inner energetic purpose. It was a bit confusing. I might explore this more in my own practice to get a better understanding.
Standing Backbend
Feet hip width apart and a strap above the knees, working the legs and pelvis with the same energetics as Ustrasana. I hooked into the instruction of lifting the kidneys up and everything else went in one ear and out the other.
Urdhva Dhanurasana
We all started by laying down, head at the wall, knees bent up, and some people used blocks under their hands.
The first few Urdhva Ds were standard. Then we had to move into the pose, lifting all our TOES up from the floor towards the shins, then turn the big toes inwards (toes still off the floor). This is a demanding variation.
After that it was the more standard variation of lifting the heels off the floor to get height in the hips, then lowering the heels without losing any hip height.
Uttanasana then Parsva Uttanasana
Uttanasana, bending forward into the wall
Feet placed 1 foot away from the wall and facing the wall, bending over and leaning the entire spine into the wall. Glenn lifted my lopsided left hip up but it made my left heel come off the floor. But he then gave me a lovely adjustment, pulling my shoulderblades in and down the wall which pressed me deeper into the forward bend until my head touched the floor.
DAY 5: Friday 14th January 2005: afternoon session
Usual starting pose sequence.
Glenn’s Question: In poses supported by the bolster, what is the bolster doing?
Answer: Expanding the front body.
Glenn’s Question: What can we do to assist this process?
Answer: When breathing in, let the rib cage expand up and out, away from the bolster.
The point: when using props, ask how the body can assist the prop.
Adho Mukha Svanasana (Dog Pose)
Emphasis on extending from the elbows to the pads of the thumbs and from the biceps up to the shoulders (two way action) from the back knee crease to the heel, from the hamstrings up to the sitting bones.
Step forward to a lunge, then straighten the front leg, keeping the back leg like Dog Pose.
Adho Mukha Svanasana (Dog Pose)
Parivritta Trikonasana
Adho Mukha Svanasana (Dog Pose)
Upavista Konasana
Parivritta Upavista Konasana
Supta Padangusthasana to the front and side
Padmasana exercise
Laying on the back, legs extended along the floor, keeping one leg straight, bend up the other so the shinbone is parallel to the floor, knee and ankle equidistant to shoulders, and draw the shinbone closer to chest.
Backbend over Chair
Chair forward bend Seated at the front of the chair
Chair Padmasana exercise
Sit to the front of the chair, bend up one leg into Padmasana, heel towards hip and bend forward taking both hands to the floor.
Chair Twist
Sit facing the side of the chair and twist towards the back of the chair, hands holding the back of the chair.
Ardha Halasana
No instructions given in this restorative pose.
Supported Setu Bhandha over bolster
Pranayama
Inhale and exhale keeping the ribs up and expanded then notice the pause between the inhalation and exhalation, then hold the pause longer with an inner feeling that you are inhaling further. Take 2 normal breaths between each one.
In Savasana I couldn’t settle. There was a deep hole pulling inwards at the centre of my diaphragm like a black hole, hollow, collapsing in on itself.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
My first Mysore class for a few months, and my first real practice for a few weeks – not a good combination.
I had to get up at 5am this morning to get to Mysore class with David Roche, because I’m housesitting my boyfriend’s beachside place for a couple of weeks. It’s much further away from the shala, my workplace and the city. But I was determined to get to Mysore class. My practice needs a good shake up and my head needs to be opened up a bit.
I found the few adjustments that David gave me this morning quite challenging to my belief system – that’s gotta be good.
Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana – holding my right leg up and to the side, David encouraged my right upper groin back with his finger, further, further, until it felt like my bum was sticking out, almost a forward tilt of the pelvis (like Dog Pose). I’ve always tried to keep my tail in and the front of my pelvis lifting up and opening outwards, so this was the opposite kind of action.
Marichyasana C and Marichy D
David had me sitting up with a block (blasphemous prop) under the buttock of my bent leg; my other buttock was way up off the floor. I couldn’t really understand what he was getting at here, asking me to move the outer thigh of the bent leg outwards. It wouldn’t move and I just go a bit confused.
In Marichy D while up on the block, when twisting to the right he wanted me to curl the right side of my lumbar over – it didn’t move, dead spot, confusing again.
Stiff Right Knee
David gave me some useful help with this knee of mine that’s been deteriorating into rigamortis. When bending the knee into the Padmasana position for Ardha Baddha Padma Paschimottanasana, he showed me how I needed to tuck the buttock flesh under more, like pulling the sitting bones together to rotate the femur out more.
Urdhva Dhanurasana
David stood over me and squeezed my knees together, making me press them outwards while drawing the hip points together and spreading sitting bones and sacral area. He pointed out how my right leg was pressing out more than my left. When I tried to press outwards more with my left leg it wouldn’t co-operate.
There are all these little areas in my body that have gradually sunk into complacent habits over the years. I like finding them then trying to wake them up.
I managed to sneak in two dropbacks while David was assisting someone else. I could have waited for him to come over to me, but I felt mentally worn out by that time and took the easy way out, not really wanting to push past my breaking point this morning.
Summing it all up, I felt a bit awkward in my first class back with David. The lighting in the shala is kept low which doesn’t help balancing. My internal bandha focus was poor and only really kicked in during the finishing poses. My breath sounded alien; it wasn’t my usual Ujjiyi breath, it was more on the surface, more behind th nose, a strange unfamiliar sound to it that created even more distance between me and my practice (according to Emma Balnaves, the Ujjiyi breath should be felt beneath the ears, not behind the nose).
And with David’s penetrating gaze occasionally directed my way, I was overly conscious of all the flaws in my practice like my strange breath and my lazy jump throughs. But I sort of didn’t mind him watching me because at least he showed interest in my practice and gave me quite a few adjustments.
Great to be back doing Mysore at the shala, even if it is only Mondays for now.
__________________________________________________________________
Monday 31st January 2005
Session two of Emma Balnaves ‘Shadow Yoga’ workshop and I won't be continuing with the other 4 sessions. I’m the only one there who hasn’t done ‘Shadow Yoga’ before and in this city, there are definite yoga “cliques”. I felt like a rebel gatecrasher, even though I went with a very open mind hoping to learn a bit more about this new stream of yoga that Shandor’s spreading over the globe.
But it’s not for me and now I know.
Sequence noted so far:
From standing (I can’t remember what name Emma gave the standing position but it wasn’t Tadasana or Samastithi – how many names can there be?)
Exhale and engage a full Uddiyana, drop the head back and look up, arms still by the sides,
Inhale raising arms out and up til hands touch in prayer position
Exhale hands down the front of the body in ch’i kung style (palms facing down, elbows bending out to the sides)
Repeat arms raises five times.
Bring hands in prayer position at the heart, step the feet out 4’ wide with toes pointing outwards. Exhale to a squat (thighs parallel to floor)
From the squat, inhale and extend the arms forward parallel to floor with palms together, exhale and wrap arms around back of legs with hands holding back of heels (like Malasana but with the feet apart)
Inhale and release arms stretching them back out in front, bringing palms together
Exhale and widen the stance then lunge to the left side bending left knee way past the ankle, place both hands together on the floor to the inside of the left foot, arms pressed straight and head up, spine parallel to floor.
Inhale stay in the lunge but extend arms parallel to the floor with palms together. The spine and arms here are in a straight line about 30 degrees to the side of the lunging thigh.
Exhale and swan dive the arms outwards and behind the back into reverse prayer position, lowering the head to the floor about a foot away from the inner ankle.
Inhale back up to last position (arms extended forward), open hands palms up as you exhale to the other side placing both hands to the floor inside the foot and repeat on this side.
Inhale to the centre, exhale to Prasaritta Padottanasana, head up (flat back) hands in line with feet. Inhale head to floor with Jalandhara Bandha then take hands over to Prasaritta Padottanasana C position.
Bring hands back in front, still in PP and twist to one side, both legs straight, hips square and both hands to one ankle.
The rest of my notes here get a bit obscure (almost not making sense) but I’ll include them anyway:
Bend left knee and grab left ankle with right hand, turn head to look under armpit.
Untwist and take left forearm to outside of right shin, wrapping wrist around outer ankle. Place right hand on top of left shin then straighten arms taking head towards left foot.
Release right arm, swing up and over, rotating from shoulder and grab left ankle with right hand, twist torso and lookup.
Undo the twist but stay holding ankles.
Release hands to Prasaritta Padottanasana and repeat to the other side.
This was as far as we got at the end of day 2.
Although there are some aspects of the ‘Shadow Yoga’ that I like already, they are probably things that are shared in common with Ashtanga – fluidity, the connected flow pattern of the poses, each position connecting nicely to the one before. bandha work, sequential arrangement of postures.
________________________________________________________________
Tuesday 25th January 2005
Feels like I had my first real practice in a long time. The three practices in the Gallery last week don’t count. They were all petty weak and unfocussed from what I remember. The aftermath from Glenn’s workshop perhaps.
Today I did every pose fully and properly, even touched my feet together in Supta Kurmasana. Flowed on easily into Pasasana and Krounchasana at the end and even did three good dropbacks, floating down to a super soft cushioned landing on each one. Very pleased with it all today.
Next week I’ll be doing a workshop with Emma Balnaves (Shandor’s partner). I haven’t worked with her before and haven’t done any Shadow Yoga, but I’m feeling playful and curious, so I’m going to have another little fling for a week. There are 6 sessions: the first one next Sunday night then it will be from 6-8am for the following 5 mornings.
Karma
I try to keep this journal exclusively about my physical yoga practice. It’s an intimate part of my life which I rarely share with anyone else. But my real yoga practice happens 24 hours a day. It’s not just 2 hours on the mat. It’s observing my life and the issues that arise that give me the opportunity to fix up all the parts that are not running smoothly. Practicing yoga, we practice a way of being in the world where you stop accumulating bad karma (eg. doing and saying anything with a negative effect) and allowing past karmic consequences to arise and be released in whatever way is necessary. Eventually we become karma free – no baggage – nothing to pay back, nothing to fear and living with integrity and joy. It’s then we can freely move forward to an elevated state of higher consciousness that is active in daily life. Doing the right thing at the right time, begins to occur naturally. You develop a sixth sense, a sensitivity and understanding of universal laws, the natural justice that prevails, and life becomes easy when you get in step with this. Peace is a permanent state from which all action arises.
So my yoga practice prevails and it feels like the few sticky areas remaining in my life are being methodically cleaned up.
__________________________________________________________________
Yoga Intensive with Glenn Ceresoli where I digress from Ashtanga for one week only.
DAY 5: Friday 14th January 2005: morning session
The last morning session and as Kosta and I predicted, Glenn finished it with the backbend grande finale. No spectacular, flashy poses – just good old Urdhva Dhanurasana to the max, about 5 long holdings, working to Glenn’s instructions.
Other poses we did:
Parighasana
The first time with back of the lower hand pressing into the shin of the extended leg and upper arm aiming towards a position parallel to the floor. The second go at the pose, we had to raise the lower arm away from the shin so that the arms were both parallel to each other and parallel to the floor, palms facing each other and extending out from the fingertips as if we were holding a ball between the hands and trying to push it away from the head.
Pressing the bent leg big toe into the floor activates that side of the pelvis and lifts that hip. The pubis then the navel move move horizontally to the bent leg side. The sitting bone under the extended leg presses forward and pulls under towards the opposite groin.
The second variation is much more dynamic because you don’t have the support of the lower hand against the extended leg to help leverand twist the torso. Raising this arm also puts more weight bearing responsibility on the spine which has to really find an integrity in its lengthening action to create support.
I’ve often used the basics of Parighasana to teach Trikonasana. They have similar actions and there’s something comforting about doing a couple of poses that mirror each other. The information gets assimilated better. Parighasana and Trikonasana articulate nicely into each other.
So after Parighasana we came to Tadasana.
I was nicely surprised to hear Glenn describe some primary actions that I assert when I teach this pose: pressing through the base of the big toe helps to create lift through the inner legs; outer shins squeeze inwards; inner groins roll back; top of femurs press back. Glenn insisted that the leg energy must feel contained as if the legs are one, like a pillar. To counteract the pressing back, the tailbone must lengthen and the back body energy press forward; the pelvic floor then naturally lifts up as the energy is directed from the peripheral body inwards.
Adho Mukha Svanasana
Uttanasana
Sometimes this feels like a balancing pose with the feet together. As I stood in Uttanasana, I could feel my weight oscillating between the left and right foot as Glenn talked about it. He directed us to press more firmly and evenly into the base of the big toes. I love doing this, trying to get to that lovely point where both legs are working in unison perfectly, feeling the oscillation decreasing bit by bit. Having one leg longer than the other means the weight is always lighter under my left foot and getting the weight even under both my feet even makes my hips uneven.
Oh well, you can’t have everything…
Ardha Chandrasana
Glenn demonstrated a precise and elegant way to move into Ardha Chandrasana, visualizing the body as a set of scales.
From Trikonasana, we had to slowly bend the front knee, focusing on the energetic force produced by pulling the skin of the heel from the inside to the outside of the heel, feeling the energy of the upper thigh (bent leg) rotating from the inner groin over the top of the leg to the outer thigh, under and back again. When you feel this spiralling energetic force, the entire thigh responds by turning out. It’s a more subtle prompt than the grosser instruction of keeping that knee pressed back.
So after bending the knee from Trikonasana with this in mind, take weight more over the front foot and then lower the torso over the bent leg thigh which, when visualizing a set of scales, tips the scales to one side so the back leg lightens up. As the bent leg slowly straightens, the torso must be kept close in to the thigh, so this will tip the scales further and the straight leg just floats up effortlessly to balance the diagonal line of the torso. It’s a very different feeling to the usual struggle, lifting the back leg up against the force of gravity which has a heaviness to it .
I tried to keep the whole ‘scales’ visualization alive during the stay in the pose and it made the long holding in Ardha Chandrasana a joyful experience. Perfecting the balance in a pose brings a pronounced light feeling of inner balance and equilibrium…until we had to descend - s l o w l y bending the knee, torso absolutely glued to the thigh throughout the descent, extended leg staying lifted, my body suddenly starting to shake as my leg strength falls away from deep in the hip, my alignment lost, my mindfulness faltering.
Adho Mukha Svanasana (Dog Pose)
Virabhadrasana 1
From Dog Pose, step forward to a deep lunge, then ground back heel and don’t move even one millimeter from the pelvis down as you raise the arms and torso to Virabhadrasana 1.
Every single person lifted their base away from the floor as they raised their torsos up into the pose.
What Glenn was asking for demanded extraordinary leg strength and strong energy through the hips. Staying low and stabilised in the lunge also hits into the lumbar a bit unless you direct the torso slightly forward. But when Glenn demonstrated it, I was gobsmacked at his awesome control - his legs and pelvis did not move. They were like steel supports as he lifted up from the invisible hinge in his hips.
Half Dog Pose to the Wasll
Adho Mukha Vrksasana (Handstand)
Half Handstand to the WallPressing the chest back to the wall.
Ustrasana
We used our hands to pull the hamstrings up.
In backbends, when implementing the correct pelvic tilt (pubis up, tailbone down), it tends to draw the quads up towards the hip points and the back thighs (hamstrings) down. Glenn brought attention to the opposite action in the quads and hamstrings and although I could work it this way, I’m still unclear on the inner energetic purpose. It was a bit confusing. I might explore this more in my own practice to get a better understanding.
Standing Backbend
Feet hip width apart and a strap above the knees, working the legs and pelvis with the same energetics as Ustrasana. I hooked into the instruction of lifting the kidneys up and everything else went in one ear and out the other.
Urdhva Dhanurasana
We all started by laying down, head at the wall, knees bent up, and some people used blocks under their hands.
The first few Urdhva Ds were standard. Then we had to move into the pose, lifting all our TOES up from the floor towards the shins, then turn the big toes inwards (toes still off the floor). This is a demanding variation.
After that it was the more standard variation of lifting the heels off the floor to get height in the hips, then lowering the heels without losing any hip height.
Uttanasana then Parsva Uttanasana
Uttanasana, bending forward into the wall
Feet placed 1 foot away from the wall and facing the wall, bending over and leaning the entire spine into the wall. Glenn lifted my lopsided left hip up but it made my left heel come off the floor. But he then gave me a lovely adjustment, pulling my shoulderblades in and down the wall which pressed me deeper into the forward bend until my head touched the floor.
DAY 5: Friday 14th January 2005: afternoon session
Usual starting pose sequence.
Glenn’s Question: In poses supported by the bolster, what is the bolster doing?
Answer: Expanding the front body.
Glenn’s Question: What can we do to assist this process?
Answer: When breathing in, let the rib cage expand up and out, away from the bolster.
The point: when using props, ask how the body can assist the prop.
Adho Mukha Svanasana (Dog Pose)
Emphasis on extending from the elbows to the pads of the thumbs and from the biceps up to the shoulders (two way action) from the back knee crease to the heel, from the hamstrings up to the sitting bones.
Step forward to a lunge, then straighten the front leg, keeping the back leg like Dog Pose.
Adho Mukha Svanasana (Dog Pose)
Parivritta Trikonasana
Adho Mukha Svanasana (Dog Pose)
Upavista Konasana
Parivritta Upavista Konasana
Supta Padangusthasana to the front and side
Padmasana exercise
Laying on the back, legs extended along the floor, keeping one leg straight, bend up the other so the shinbone is parallel to the floor, knee and ankle equidistant to shoulders, and draw the shinbone closer to chest.
Backbend over Chair
Chair forward bend Seated at the front of the chair
Chair Padmasana exercise
Sit to the front of the chair, bend up one leg into Padmasana, heel towards hip and bend forward taking both hands to the floor.
Chair Twist
Sit facing the side of the chair and twist towards the back of the chair, hands holding the back of the chair.
Ardha Halasana
No instructions given in this restorative pose.
Supported Setu Bhandha over bolster
Pranayama
Inhale and exhale keeping the ribs up and expanded then notice the pause between the inhalation and exhalation, then hold the pause longer with an inner feeling that you are inhaling further. Take 2 normal breaths between each one.
In Savasana I couldn’t settle. There was a deep hole pulling inwards at the centre of my diaphragm like a black hole, hollow, collapsing in on itself.
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