Friday 26th December 2003
Led Ashtanga practice
At Simi's shala the only led morning practices are Tuesdays and Fridays. Usually I can't get to either because Tuesday is Shed Yoga and Friday is my only Iyengar class with Darrin. But the Iyengar school is closed for 2 weeks (in contrast to the Ashtanga shala which runs almost normal daily classes despite Christmas and New Year - now that truly reflects the dedication of Ashtanga teachers and practitioners). Simi's overseas for two more weeks and Andrew is filling in, so I went to his led primary class this morning.
WELL...it was a REALLY FAST PACED practice that finished in one and a half hours. I must be a slow breather or something. It wasn't until the Janu Sirsasanas that I moved out of the "stunned deer" response and jumped onto the speeding train to enjoy the fast ride. Mula bandha was minimal, it's not automatic for me yet - I have to consciously remember to turn it on or turn it up, but the fast pace of this class kept me more in my head and on my toes than connected to my core.
I did manage to pick up a few new pointers from sneaking a look at Andrew, like the half lotus unfolding jump back from Ardha Baddha Paschimottanasana and the Marichyasanasas ( I usually do the beginners version where you unfold and lift the legs to Navasana, cross legs, lean forward to place hands then jump back) Although I did notice this morning that I'm lifting my crossed legs up a little more underneath me like Lolasana, and starting to get a little swing happening back to Chaturanga. That's progress. Floaty jumpbacks might actually be a possibility in this lifetime.
One grrrrr...I didn't get enough time to prepare for Supta Kurmasana. Usually I get there from a deep Uttanasana where I wedge my shoulders behind my thighs, place my hands behind me on the floor with fingers pointing forward, then bend at the elbows to sit my bum slowly to the floor, shoulders still deeply wedged. Deep Kurmasana first with heels off the floor,then clasp hands behind the back (easy now) and wriggle feet close together. Andrew moved into this pose so quickly I just had to flop to the floor, shove my arms to the sides then reach them behind me and hope for the best. I knew my shoulders weren't far enough under and my hands couldn't even touch behind my back, let alone clasp. I felt them gazing at each other from distant shores, yearning to connect. No time to grizzle...we came out of it just as quick and moved on to the lead up to those dreaded rolls. But by the time I'd hitched up my pants, got into Lotus and reached for the spray bottle, Andrew was in Kukkutasana. Missed it completely!
It did feel nice to get through the entire practice so quickly and easily this morning. Half the class went to the finishing sequence of inversions after Navasana and a few others fell away shortly after - maybe it was the pace of the class, or more likely the leftover lethargy from Christmas celebrations.
Posting a lot lately - Holidays seem to have provided the contemplative space for me to observe and muse over the little things and the BIG THINGS.
But like everything else, this too will change.
Email : nobodhishome@yahoo.com.au
______________________________________________________________________
Tuesday 23rd December 2003
New Moon Practice
Yes we're criminals...Renate and I did our Shed Yoga session this morning, ignoring the new moon rule (Kosta and Sasha are in holiday sleep-in mode). Usually we do a shortened Ashtanga sequence of one and a half hours because I have to rush off to work, but as I'm on hollies, I led Renate through the full sequence for the first time (well almost - I left out Garbha Pindasana, the 9 rolls and Kukkutasana , my least favourite part of the sequence and I completely forgot Uttana Padasana for some unknown reason).
No matter...today I bound in Marichyasana D for the first time on my own AND it was on my less flexible side, AND I didn't even have to struggle. When my hands touched and clasped it took me completely by surprise. A Christmas miracle I do believe!!!.
After the practice we pondered the supposed effects of the new and full moon. Our energy levels were quite normal today and the practice felt great. It's made me wonder about the "no practice on new and full moon days" rule. I've been trying to fine tune my internal antenna over the last few months to objectively observe any fluctuations in energy level, feelings, emotions, nuances on these days. But to be honest, I haven't really noticed any difference. Maybe I'm not sensitive enough yet.
We figured it would be worthwhile observing moon days anyway for the simple reason of honouring and flowing with the natural rhythms of the earth and the cosmos and attuning daily activities to the cycles of the natural world.
Consciously choosing to observe "As above, so below".
I'm reminded of a lovely book I read a few months ago: Love Letters From Mother Nature by Shelley Neller.
Email : nobodhishome@yahoo.com.au
______________________________________________________________________
Monday 22nd December 2003
Silent listening
Kosta and I did another 2 hour forward bend practice last night, but this time I decided to approach it differently as the last two sessions have left me feeling like a slab of concrete the next day.
We did the Dona Holleman sequence again but instead of my usual approach of working deeply in the asanas, I backed off, used a bolster to rest my head on and used the practice to cultivate a softer engagement. Working like this there are no loud messages from the body demanding your attention and action. The sensations are more subtle, they whisper to you. You have to be very quiet and receptive to hear them but they reveal hidden layers of the body and mind, not accessible when you are dealing with the grosser sensations of challenging asana work.
I actually got both feet touching each other in Supta Kurmasana on my own for the first time (only with patient assistance have I been able to actually cross them lately). I love the feeling of stimulation and heat in the lower back from Supta Kurmasana - you know it's working deeply. Towards the end of the session we did Upavista Konasana and Kosta very eloquently pointed out that although my chin goes to the floor, my belly doesn't. But I reckon it's because my belly isn't as big as his.
Vanilla Sugar
"If the only prayer you say in your whole life is 'thank you', that would suffice" - Meister Eckhardt
I've been baking moon shaped vanilla shortbread biscuits for my friends for Christmas. The heavy, fragrant scent of vanilla sugar always makes me feel grateful for the simple sweet joys; vanilla sugary things, peachy mango things, Nag Champa things, warm balmy evenings and salty things, all those little things that gladden our hearts, make us stop in our tracks and drop to our knees in gratitude for absolutely everything.
Thank You.
When I grow up I want to be a real Ashtangi
Will I ever have a life and a body and a commitment that can support a regular 6 day a week Ashtanga practice?. In all honesty, I don't think I've done more than 3 days in one week since I started last June. 2 days is the norm, 3 practices is an exceptional week.
If I'm working towards 6 days, it's a very slow tortoise like process. I don't think I'm physically capable or mentally able to sustain that devotion yet. But it's an alluring goal to work towards and I'm truly, honestly working towards it. Really I am!
Working Monday to Friday and surfing on Saturdays has curtailed my Ashtanga practice, but the passion and the urge to dive in deeply is steadily growing.
That's part of the Ashtanga magic.
The repetition of the practice allows you to measure not only your progress and your attitude, but also your Devotion. You notice how you are starting to give things up (like the extra coffee, late nights, the occasional jog, food after 7pm) because of Ashtanga. You start thinking of how you can change your life to get to more classes, or what changes to your lifestyle would help your practice. It's Devotion when you start to actually implement those changes.
Next year (ohmygod that's next week!) I'm planning to attend 2-3 early morning Mysore classes at Simi's shala; and I'll continue leading the early Tuesday morning practice with friends in my garage (Shed Yoga); I'll also be teaching a shortened Ashtanga sequence at Rebecca's studio on Saturday mornings from early January. By my calculations, that adds up to 4-5 practices a week. If the Saturday class takes off and I can convey the benefits of regular practice to the students, the opportunity is there to lead a Tuesday morning practice at the studio as well. And I could always leave my boyfriend in bed on Sunday mornings and do a practice in his lounge room (I've only done that a couple of times - I want him to feel special and not like he's in second place on my list of passions, so I try to restrain myself on Sunday mornings and stay in bed!).
Email : nobodhishome@yahoo.com.au
______________________________________________________________________
Friday 19th December 2003
Thinking like the Universe
An ongoing spiritual practice will develop the ability to perceive the deeper layers that lie beneath the surface of our daily lives. And as we peel away the layers of superficiality, and the layers of ego, we cannot help but to become more authentic, expressing the Truth as it is revealed through us.
Then it becomes impossible to live a half hearted life.
Intention and purposefulness empower every decision and every breath that I take. I've no doubt that Ashtanga helps to cultivate this with it's emphasis on linking breath to movement, harnessing and uniting our disparate energies into a singular focus.
The impetus is to shift to a new way of being in the world that goes against the current of social conditioning because it expresses our innate power and freedom. The richness of the inner world starts to manifest in the outer world through some alchemical process; and you enter a sort of slipstream where you are working in partnership with Divine intention; opportunities magically arise as if to reward you for walking the path towards Awakening.
"There's nothing as powerful as an idea whose time has come"
I've just started holidays; no full time work for two weeks, but I've resolutely decided to RESIGN when I return on January 5th. This comes as a surprise even to me because less than two weeks ago, I had a great job and a great boss and was settling into a long term position (been there 4 months). It's not that I don't enjoy work or this particular job (assisting in the development of a sustainable business management system (see www.ecointegrity.org). But from the moment the thought entered my mind about moving on, there seemed to be no turning back. Over the last week, that initial seed-thought steadily gained a quiet but powerful momentum; it was like a microscopic snow crystal that mobilized itself into a gigantic, tumbling snowball. I'm amazed and in awe at how the process of change manifests.
What takes the soul further away from its Divine purpose and what brings it closer? That question seems to inform all of my decisions these days.
So here I am, perched precariously on the precipice of great change. In 3 weeks time, I'll have no full time work and $0 in the bank. But what's extraordinary is I have no fear. I'm quite excited. I know I'm watching something very, very interesting unfold.
When you look back at the things that changed the direction of your life: meeting someone, reading a book, going to a seminar, following a hunch - seemingly random events at the time, you can see that your personal evolution has been orchestrated by an invisible conductor. I believe we magnetise these into our lives for the sole purpose of realizing our potential. And to become aware of this deeper reality at work, moment by moment, being REALLY AWAKE and CONNECTED to it allows us to participate fully in it with no fear, quickening the journey to full Realisation. It's breathtaking.
Becoming a REAL Yoga Teacher
I started teaching yoga again a few months ago having begun my career by teaching an independent class in an art gallery for 10 months in 2002 (then quitting when I allowed my full time job at the time to overtake my life). The opportunity to teach again came up through a chance encounter with Rebecca at a yoga workshop with Glenn Ceresoli earlier this year. Rebecca has a young but growing Iyengar style school; she knew nothing about me, had heard from someone that I'd done some teaching and she was desperate for teachers at the time. So acting on a hunch she approached me. I've been teaching a Level 1 class at her school for a few months now.
When I told Rebecca that I was resigning from my job, she was overjoyed that I wanted to teach more. WOW. By mid February it looks like I could be teaching up to 6 weekly classes at her school plus the class at the hairdressing academy.
Resigning from my job frees me up to practice, study, meditate and teach yoga. At the moment it sounds like heaven but I know this kind of lifestyle has it's own particular set of challenges and I'll surely come up against those pretty quickly. In reality I guess they'll be the lessons I need to learn just resurfacing in a new landscape.
Looking back over the past 3 years, circumstances have unfolded in the most perfect way that have allowed me to enter the world of yoga teaching through the back door (no teacher training, no apprenticeship, just a dedicated practice, extraordinary teachers and an enquiring mind). Now I'm ridgey didge. Yikes.
Email : nobodhishome@yahoo.com.au
______________________________________________________________________
Monday 8th December 2003
Teaching Yoga
Since mid September I've been teaching 2 yoga classes each week (one at Rebecca's school and one corporate class for a hairdressing academy). This has been the most I could manage along with a full time job. But when Rebecca finally got away for a 2 week holiday I took on 4 classes on top of my full time work schedule. I thought it would be a real test of my time management and my equanimity, but surprisingly I took it all in my stride and just sort of blossomed.
Teaching is challenging and rewarding; it can be expressive and creative, and also demoralizing. I've sometimes driven home after class feeling really dejected because everything I meant to do didn't happen, or the entire theme for the class never even surfaced, or I made so many mistakes that my brain was exploding with them.
Teaching shows me my gifts and allows me to express a heart felt love for people and for yoga, but it also shows up those weaknesses I'd rather not admit to. I'm grateful to be given this mirror so that I may see myself more clearly. For as I see and accept my own fears and failings with clarity, love and compassion, my heart opens to embrace the struggles of every single person on earth.
Forward bend practice
Kosta, a yoga teacher friend of mine, suggested we do a forward bend practice together on Sunday evenings in my lounge room, so we did our first session last night from 8.30 - 11.00pm (yes, 2 ½ hours of forward bends). We started with a long Dog Pose, then Uttanasana, then a 9 minute Paschimottanasana. After this we just followed a Dona Holleman sequence holding most poses for 3 minutes on each side. Kosta brought along a folder of Dona's sequences that are illustrated with funny little figures - not nearly as cute as the John Scott line figures I've grown to adore. His little man is such a spunky little dude - you can just imagine him somersaulting off the page right into your hand then bowing after his performance.
A lovely moment in the practice was in Trianga Mukhaikapada Paschimottanasana. We did it with a blanket under one buttock which facilitates an easier and deeper fold from the hips, but it doesn't require any bandha strength. Two minutes into the pose on side one I noticed a lovely adjustment just naturally occurring: with my right leg in Virasana and left leg extended, I found the left sitting bone quietly moving itself back as my right hip was moving forward, encouraging the right knee to slide forward in sympathy with it. It was as if these three anatomical points had set up a dialogue with each other and were slowly unfolding and opening up to each other and I was just a fly on the wall watching it happen.
Unfortunately the long slow practice left me feeling quite slow and psychologically heavy today and I just couldn't muster any enthusiasm to get out of bed for Mysore practice this morning. It can be quite insightful to note the mental and emotional after effects of different asana practices.
We'll do it again next Sunday and it'll be my turn to lead the practice.
Email : nobodhishome@yahoo.com.au
______________________________________________________________________
Led Ashtanga practice
At Simi's shala the only led morning practices are Tuesdays and Fridays. Usually I can't get to either because Tuesday is Shed Yoga and Friday is my only Iyengar class with Darrin. But the Iyengar school is closed for 2 weeks (in contrast to the Ashtanga shala which runs almost normal daily classes despite Christmas and New Year - now that truly reflects the dedication of Ashtanga teachers and practitioners). Simi's overseas for two more weeks and Andrew is filling in, so I went to his led primary class this morning.
WELL...it was a REALLY FAST PACED practice that finished in one and a half hours. I must be a slow breather or something. It wasn't until the Janu Sirsasanas that I moved out of the "stunned deer" response and jumped onto the speeding train to enjoy the fast ride. Mula bandha was minimal, it's not automatic for me yet - I have to consciously remember to turn it on or turn it up, but the fast pace of this class kept me more in my head and on my toes than connected to my core.
I did manage to pick up a few new pointers from sneaking a look at Andrew, like the half lotus unfolding jump back from Ardha Baddha Paschimottanasana and the Marichyasanasas ( I usually do the beginners version where you unfold and lift the legs to Navasana, cross legs, lean forward to place hands then jump back) Although I did notice this morning that I'm lifting my crossed legs up a little more underneath me like Lolasana, and starting to get a little swing happening back to Chaturanga. That's progress. Floaty jumpbacks might actually be a possibility in this lifetime.
One grrrrr...I didn't get enough time to prepare for Supta Kurmasana. Usually I get there from a deep Uttanasana where I wedge my shoulders behind my thighs, place my hands behind me on the floor with fingers pointing forward, then bend at the elbows to sit my bum slowly to the floor, shoulders still deeply wedged. Deep Kurmasana first with heels off the floor,then clasp hands behind the back (easy now) and wriggle feet close together. Andrew moved into this pose so quickly I just had to flop to the floor, shove my arms to the sides then reach them behind me and hope for the best. I knew my shoulders weren't far enough under and my hands couldn't even touch behind my back, let alone clasp. I felt them gazing at each other from distant shores, yearning to connect. No time to grizzle...we came out of it just as quick and moved on to the lead up to those dreaded rolls. But by the time I'd hitched up my pants, got into Lotus and reached for the spray bottle, Andrew was in Kukkutasana. Missed it completely!
It did feel nice to get through the entire practice so quickly and easily this morning. Half the class went to the finishing sequence of inversions after Navasana and a few others fell away shortly after - maybe it was the pace of the class, or more likely the leftover lethargy from Christmas celebrations.
Posting a lot lately - Holidays seem to have provided the contemplative space for me to observe and muse over the little things and the BIG THINGS.
But like everything else, this too will change.
Email : nobodhishome@yahoo.com.au
______________________________________________________________________
Tuesday 23rd December 2003
New Moon Practice
Yes we're criminals...Renate and I did our Shed Yoga session this morning, ignoring the new moon rule (Kosta and Sasha are in holiday sleep-in mode). Usually we do a shortened Ashtanga sequence of one and a half hours because I have to rush off to work, but as I'm on hollies, I led Renate through the full sequence for the first time (well almost - I left out Garbha Pindasana, the 9 rolls and Kukkutasana , my least favourite part of the sequence and I completely forgot Uttana Padasana for some unknown reason).
No matter...today I bound in Marichyasana D for the first time on my own AND it was on my less flexible side, AND I didn't even have to struggle. When my hands touched and clasped it took me completely by surprise. A Christmas miracle I do believe!!!.
After the practice we pondered the supposed effects of the new and full moon. Our energy levels were quite normal today and the practice felt great. It's made me wonder about the "no practice on new and full moon days" rule. I've been trying to fine tune my internal antenna over the last few months to objectively observe any fluctuations in energy level, feelings, emotions, nuances on these days. But to be honest, I haven't really noticed any difference. Maybe I'm not sensitive enough yet.
We figured it would be worthwhile observing moon days anyway for the simple reason of honouring and flowing with the natural rhythms of the earth and the cosmos and attuning daily activities to the cycles of the natural world.
Consciously choosing to observe "As above, so below".
I'm reminded of a lovely book I read a few months ago: Love Letters From Mother Nature by Shelley Neller.
Email : nobodhishome@yahoo.com.au
______________________________________________________________________
Monday 22nd December 2003
Silent listening
Kosta and I did another 2 hour forward bend practice last night, but this time I decided to approach it differently as the last two sessions have left me feeling like a slab of concrete the next day.
We did the Dona Holleman sequence again but instead of my usual approach of working deeply in the asanas, I backed off, used a bolster to rest my head on and used the practice to cultivate a softer engagement. Working like this there are no loud messages from the body demanding your attention and action. The sensations are more subtle, they whisper to you. You have to be very quiet and receptive to hear them but they reveal hidden layers of the body and mind, not accessible when you are dealing with the grosser sensations of challenging asana work.
I actually got both feet touching each other in Supta Kurmasana on my own for the first time (only with patient assistance have I been able to actually cross them lately). I love the feeling of stimulation and heat in the lower back from Supta Kurmasana - you know it's working deeply. Towards the end of the session we did Upavista Konasana and Kosta very eloquently pointed out that although my chin goes to the floor, my belly doesn't. But I reckon it's because my belly isn't as big as his.
Vanilla Sugar
"If the only prayer you say in your whole life is 'thank you', that would suffice" - Meister Eckhardt
I've been baking moon shaped vanilla shortbread biscuits for my friends for Christmas. The heavy, fragrant scent of vanilla sugar always makes me feel grateful for the simple sweet joys; vanilla sugary things, peachy mango things, Nag Champa things, warm balmy evenings and salty things, all those little things that gladden our hearts, make us stop in our tracks and drop to our knees in gratitude for absolutely everything.
Thank You.
When I grow up I want to be a real Ashtangi
Will I ever have a life and a body and a commitment that can support a regular 6 day a week Ashtanga practice?. In all honesty, I don't think I've done more than 3 days in one week since I started last June. 2 days is the norm, 3 practices is an exceptional week.
If I'm working towards 6 days, it's a very slow tortoise like process. I don't think I'm physically capable or mentally able to sustain that devotion yet. But it's an alluring goal to work towards and I'm truly, honestly working towards it. Really I am!
Working Monday to Friday and surfing on Saturdays has curtailed my Ashtanga practice, but the passion and the urge to dive in deeply is steadily growing.
That's part of the Ashtanga magic.
The repetition of the practice allows you to measure not only your progress and your attitude, but also your Devotion. You notice how you are starting to give things up (like the extra coffee, late nights, the occasional jog, food after 7pm) because of Ashtanga. You start thinking of how you can change your life to get to more classes, or what changes to your lifestyle would help your practice. It's Devotion when you start to actually implement those changes.
Next year (ohmygod that's next week!) I'm planning to attend 2-3 early morning Mysore classes at Simi's shala; and I'll continue leading the early Tuesday morning practice with friends in my garage (Shed Yoga); I'll also be teaching a shortened Ashtanga sequence at Rebecca's studio on Saturday mornings from early January. By my calculations, that adds up to 4-5 practices a week. If the Saturday class takes off and I can convey the benefits of regular practice to the students, the opportunity is there to lead a Tuesday morning practice at the studio as well. And I could always leave my boyfriend in bed on Sunday mornings and do a practice in his lounge room (I've only done that a couple of times - I want him to feel special and not like he's in second place on my list of passions, so I try to restrain myself on Sunday mornings and stay in bed!).
Email : nobodhishome@yahoo.com.au
______________________________________________________________________
Friday 19th December 2003
Thinking like the Universe
An ongoing spiritual practice will develop the ability to perceive the deeper layers that lie beneath the surface of our daily lives. And as we peel away the layers of superficiality, and the layers of ego, we cannot help but to become more authentic, expressing the Truth as it is revealed through us.
Then it becomes impossible to live a half hearted life.
Intention and purposefulness empower every decision and every breath that I take. I've no doubt that Ashtanga helps to cultivate this with it's emphasis on linking breath to movement, harnessing and uniting our disparate energies into a singular focus.
The impetus is to shift to a new way of being in the world that goes against the current of social conditioning because it expresses our innate power and freedom. The richness of the inner world starts to manifest in the outer world through some alchemical process; and you enter a sort of slipstream where you are working in partnership with Divine intention; opportunities magically arise as if to reward you for walking the path towards Awakening.
"There's nothing as powerful as an idea whose time has come"
I've just started holidays; no full time work for two weeks, but I've resolutely decided to RESIGN when I return on January 5th. This comes as a surprise even to me because less than two weeks ago, I had a great job and a great boss and was settling into a long term position (been there 4 months). It's not that I don't enjoy work or this particular job (assisting in the development of a sustainable business management system (see www.ecointegrity.org). But from the moment the thought entered my mind about moving on, there seemed to be no turning back. Over the last week, that initial seed-thought steadily gained a quiet but powerful momentum; it was like a microscopic snow crystal that mobilized itself into a gigantic, tumbling snowball. I'm amazed and in awe at how the process of change manifests.
What takes the soul further away from its Divine purpose and what brings it closer? That question seems to inform all of my decisions these days.
So here I am, perched precariously on the precipice of great change. In 3 weeks time, I'll have no full time work and $0 in the bank. But what's extraordinary is I have no fear. I'm quite excited. I know I'm watching something very, very interesting unfold.
When you look back at the things that changed the direction of your life: meeting someone, reading a book, going to a seminar, following a hunch - seemingly random events at the time, you can see that your personal evolution has been orchestrated by an invisible conductor. I believe we magnetise these into our lives for the sole purpose of realizing our potential. And to become aware of this deeper reality at work, moment by moment, being REALLY AWAKE and CONNECTED to it allows us to participate fully in it with no fear, quickening the journey to full Realisation. It's breathtaking.
Becoming a REAL Yoga Teacher
I started teaching yoga again a few months ago having begun my career by teaching an independent class in an art gallery for 10 months in 2002 (then quitting when I allowed my full time job at the time to overtake my life). The opportunity to teach again came up through a chance encounter with Rebecca at a yoga workshop with Glenn Ceresoli earlier this year. Rebecca has a young but growing Iyengar style school; she knew nothing about me, had heard from someone that I'd done some teaching and she was desperate for teachers at the time. So acting on a hunch she approached me. I've been teaching a Level 1 class at her school for a few months now.
When I told Rebecca that I was resigning from my job, she was overjoyed that I wanted to teach more. WOW. By mid February it looks like I could be teaching up to 6 weekly classes at her school plus the class at the hairdressing academy.
Resigning from my job frees me up to practice, study, meditate and teach yoga. At the moment it sounds like heaven but I know this kind of lifestyle has it's own particular set of challenges and I'll surely come up against those pretty quickly. In reality I guess they'll be the lessons I need to learn just resurfacing in a new landscape.
Looking back over the past 3 years, circumstances have unfolded in the most perfect way that have allowed me to enter the world of yoga teaching through the back door (no teacher training, no apprenticeship, just a dedicated practice, extraordinary teachers and an enquiring mind). Now I'm ridgey didge. Yikes.
Email : nobodhishome@yahoo.com.au
______________________________________________________________________
Monday 8th December 2003
Teaching Yoga
Since mid September I've been teaching 2 yoga classes each week (one at Rebecca's school and one corporate class for a hairdressing academy). This has been the most I could manage along with a full time job. But when Rebecca finally got away for a 2 week holiday I took on 4 classes on top of my full time work schedule. I thought it would be a real test of my time management and my equanimity, but surprisingly I took it all in my stride and just sort of blossomed.
Teaching is challenging and rewarding; it can be expressive and creative, and also demoralizing. I've sometimes driven home after class feeling really dejected because everything I meant to do didn't happen, or the entire theme for the class never even surfaced, or I made so many mistakes that my brain was exploding with them.
Teaching shows me my gifts and allows me to express a heart felt love for people and for yoga, but it also shows up those weaknesses I'd rather not admit to. I'm grateful to be given this mirror so that I may see myself more clearly. For as I see and accept my own fears and failings with clarity, love and compassion, my heart opens to embrace the struggles of every single person on earth.
Forward bend practice
Kosta, a yoga teacher friend of mine, suggested we do a forward bend practice together on Sunday evenings in my lounge room, so we did our first session last night from 8.30 - 11.00pm (yes, 2 ½ hours of forward bends). We started with a long Dog Pose, then Uttanasana, then a 9 minute Paschimottanasana. After this we just followed a Dona Holleman sequence holding most poses for 3 minutes on each side. Kosta brought along a folder of Dona's sequences that are illustrated with funny little figures - not nearly as cute as the John Scott line figures I've grown to adore. His little man is such a spunky little dude - you can just imagine him somersaulting off the page right into your hand then bowing after his performance.
A lovely moment in the practice was in Trianga Mukhaikapada Paschimottanasana. We did it with a blanket under one buttock which facilitates an easier and deeper fold from the hips, but it doesn't require any bandha strength. Two minutes into the pose on side one I noticed a lovely adjustment just naturally occurring: with my right leg in Virasana and left leg extended, I found the left sitting bone quietly moving itself back as my right hip was moving forward, encouraging the right knee to slide forward in sympathy with it. It was as if these three anatomical points had set up a dialogue with each other and were slowly unfolding and opening up to each other and I was just a fly on the wall watching it happen.
Unfortunately the long slow practice left me feeling quite slow and psychologically heavy today and I just couldn't muster any enthusiasm to get out of bed for Mysore practice this morning. It can be quite insightful to note the mental and emotional after effects of different asana practices.
We'll do it again next Sunday and it'll be my turn to lead the practice.
Email : nobodhishome@yahoo.com.au
______________________________________________________________________
November 23rd 2003
"Inspiring Mantra: Go Further"
How the universe falls apart when you can't do Ashtanga.
I sometimes wonder whether I'm becoming reliant on this extraordinary practice to keep me happy and healthy (perhaps I've just replaced all my old crutches with new Ashtanga ones). This is how you start to think when for a while, you can't do those things that support and nourish you, those outer structures that we create and build our daily lives upon.
We usually cling to these crutches as a way of defining who we are; crutches come in the form of relationships, job positions, physical activities, mortgages, social circles, hobbies: those things we choose to engage in or with, that allow us to define our constructed Self, to make our personalities more concrete, to feed our sense of self importance and uniqueness.
Not quite so for a yogi.
When you become self realized and therefore God realized, everything changes. You suddenly can see that everyone and everything is God manifested in form. Each one of us is a beautiful and divine manifestation of the infinite and loving source. And in this realization your sense of self just dissolves, you become a nobodi. A nobodi who is WIDE AWAKE.
"The enlightened are in no way superior to the unenlightened, they are merely awake"
And the real work of a yogi has little to do with asana; the real work is to retain this enlightened awareness and realize when it's being lost in the midst of urban life. Your practice is to stay awake.
Ashtanga
The Ashtanga practice has a powerful effect on my inner life. It's an uplifting practice that can move the consciousness beyond the ego. Iyengar yoga is very grounding, but it keeps me on the ground, looking deeply inside and listening to my own trivial stories. I sometimes find it heavy and internal, like therapy. Ashtanga on the other hand seems to lift me above that; it allows me to dance through life on a breeze with a soft inner drishti and an open loving heart. Therapy no longer needed thanks.
"Practice and all is coming"
But when not doing regular Ashtanga I float back down to earth and join my fellow mortals in their daily struggles to just get by. Union with Divine Consciousness begins to elude me.
Enter the REAL YOGA PRACTICE:
"Yoga is the restriction (nirodha) of the fluctuations of the mind (citta)", (Patanjali, 1:4)
I can observe that silly voice immediately now when it starts whispering:
No Ashtanga for a week! aaaaarrrrggghhhhh
My body will weaken and I'll have to struggle for weeks to get back on track
I may lose the momentum for practicing
I might get LAZY and soft
I won't be fit to teach yoga if I'm not practicing daily
I may become self centred
I may become - oh my god - mediocre
My wellspring of love might dry up
And so the list goes on and on - all trivial self centred ego based thoughts caused by the fluctuations of the mind. Observing when we get caught up in these self centred, negative thoughts has to be followed by action to bring one's mind and heart back to it's true centre.
A specific meditation may be what's needed here to still the mind and refocus it to one's divine motivation. Not just watching the breath or a mandala or your bodily sensations, that's kindergarten preparation for concentrating and focusing on opening of the heart center, so that the all consuming loving presence that we really are can emerge and overwhelm and inspire all that we do.
Next week will be a new start (new moon tomorrow) and maybe there'll be another injury or trauma to test my equanimity, my loving acceptance of exactly what is happening right now.
"Through contentment (samtosha) unexcelled joy is gained"(Patanjali 2:42)
I think it was Erich Shiffmann who said "the feeling of stillness is peace, and the feeling of peace is joy" And Eckhart Tolle in his book 'Stillness Speaks' describes joy as
"VIBRANTLY ALIVE PEACE"
This is how it feels to be truly connected, in love with life, in love with oneself, in love with love, in love with God.
Minor Injuries
Lately I seem to have been plagued by one minor injury after another: broken toe, strained hip tendon and then a most annoying blister appeared on my right palm after a frenzied hour of gardening last Sunday. That was pretty funny actually because there was no way in hell that I could do Dog Pose and all because of a little blister, so again I missed almost a week of Ashtanga. When I finally psyched myself back to Mysore class last Thursday, it was quite comical as I had my hand bandaged to protect and cushion the blister. It looked like a real serious injury and I very humbly had to admit it was just a little blister. Half way through the sequence the bandage fell off (trying to get my bandaged hand through my lotus leg in Garbha Pindasana), and then the bandaid that was underneath started flapping around wildly until I finally threw caution to the wind, ripped it off and finished the practice palm naked.
Sweating
It ended up being a great session: the hottest, sweatiest practice I've ever done. Summer's just arrived and since I only started Ashtanga last Autumn I haven't experienced an Ashtanga summer. Shocked and bemused to see great POOLS of sweat. But wow, UNREAL slide throughs from Down Dog to Dandasana, reminiscent of the childlike thrill of sliding down a slippery dip. My mat metamorphosed into a super duper slippery dip. I just sort of slipped and slid through the practice with an oily ease. No push, just a gentle persistent engagement, fuelled by a slippery momentum and a happy happy body. Almost got Marichyasana D that morning - getting so close, it's getting exciting.
The only downside of the sweatpool on the mat was the fear of slipping when landing in the drop backs from Samasthitih to Urdhva Dhanurasana, so not wanting to invite another injury into my life, I waited for the teacher to come around and hold me for a few instructional slow drop backs instead. But it was exhale to lift, arch and dropback, inhale to rise, eight times without pausing - not slow at all. And so I'm blaming those dropbacks and the heat for forgetting to do Sirsasana (Headstand) that morning.
Next Mysore class will be Monday morning, and my old faithful orange surf towel will be accompanying me to practice. I look forward to feeling her softness as I sweat through another practice and emerge disheveled, crimson faced, exhausted and BEAMING!
Sigh - after a one week break it's like falling in love all over again.
Email contact: nobodhishome@yahoo.com.au
________________________________________________________________________
Friday evening 14th November 2003
Its a hot Friday evening. I should be cleaning up the house after a full week of 9-5 work, 6am Mysore classes, and teaching yoga 2 nights this week, but instead I'm just putting my feet up and finally creating the blog that I've been meaning to do for weeks (since okrgr pulled the plug on my weekly entertainment!). The mess can wait until I get home from surfing tomorrow afternoon, or maybe it can wait til Sunday.
I treat myself to a led Iyengar class 6-8am every Friday morning with my favourite teacher. He's one of our city's most senior teachers and his school is the only one in my city that is strictly authentic in its Iyengar method (most schools seem to mix styles with their different teachers bringing different flavours to the classes). It's a fairly small class on Friday mornings, usually between 5-10 people, and most of them are yoga teachers.
He usually starts the class with handstands (including free balancing) and elbow balances (Pinca Mayurasana). Great breakthrough this morning when I FINALLY jumped up into Handstand with both feet together - that's a milestone for me. Then he put us through a good 40 minutes of regular standing poses (including Ardha Chandrasana and Virabhadrasana 3), nothing fancy (last week we did Ardha Chandrasana 4 times on each side - it was fascinating to watch the mind reacting each time he said "and again..." eg. WHAT Another One?...WHAT Another One? You've gotta be joking!). After the standing poses, a 10 minute Sirsasana including a variation that I'm starting to enjoy where you bend the knees dropping the feet to the buttocks (knees stretch up to the ceiling) then twist the torso and hold - I don't know if it has an official name as I couldn't find it in Light On Yoga, maybe something like Parsva Virasana Sirsasana (????just made that up!!!). This class is soooooo nice to come back to each week since I took up a serious Ashtanga Vinyasa practice 6 months ago. It's like coming home. But I do have to quieten my Ujjiya breathing a bit simply out of respect for the teacher and the rest of the class. But my yoga just doesn't seem to have integrity if I'm not engaging a deep sonorous breath all the way from mula bandha. The Iyengis just don't know what they're missing!
After the headstand variations we did some backbending: Dhanurasana, Ustrasana dropping back to Kapotasana, 3 x Urdhva Dhanurasana then 3 x Viparitta Dandasana, then Eka Pada Raja Kapotasana (I'm still using a strap around the ankle but I can almost reach the foot to the head - well it feels like it anyway - maybe I'm really miles off - your judgement gets a little cloudy when you're in over your head). Then straight into Hanumanasana and just a twisting version of Janu Sirsasana without the forward bend. By that time we were all grateful for 10 minutes in Ardha Halasana over a chair and Paschimottanassana (head to bolster which we deserved).
Then as usual I had to pack up and leave before Savasana so I could enjoy a quick espresso and get to work by 9am.
Its usually quite a rigorous class (we've been working a lot lately on dropbacks from Tadasana to Urdhva Dhanurasana and Handstand Dropbacks last week) but the teacher has a quiet gentleness that seems to instill a stillness into the practice - that is a real inspiration for me as a budding teacher. I think its because he doesnt give out much information in this class - its more like his own practice that he shares with us - he doesnt need to tell us how to work in the poses as most of us are teachers and know the alignment aspects. Classes where the teacher is constantly talking take you away from your inner experience and your inner teacher. Your mind is always outside DOING, instead of inside BEING. This class for me is always rich in conscious awareness.
The odd thing is that when I teach my Level 1 classes and consciously try to limit the instructions I give them, the pauses don't seem to be filled with students feeling their way in and around the poses - I get the feeling that they're waiting for me to say something. Hmmmm, there's something I have to work on there.
Getting late now, not much of a first post considering the richness of my life at the moment.
My love affair with the Ashtanga practice has become an incredible journey. My regular meditation practice has suffered though as I get up at 5am every morning Monday to Friday to practice yoga and my evenings are taken up with various commitments including teaching. So my meditation right now is how I approach each moment and how I can facilitate that awesome loving presence that has created us to move and act and find expression through me.
"WE ARE THAT WHICH WE SEEK" is my constant reminder of this.
Have to pack the surfboards on the car tonight. Saturday at long last and I'm heading off with the gurls at 6.30am tomorrow and YEEHAH summer's here at last...36 degrees tomorrow...our first hot day. Fingers crossed that there'll be at least a small wave to play with so I cam immerse myself in the flow and bathe in the infinite... and hang out with my beautiful friends.
Email : nobodhishome@yahoo.com.au
___________________________________________________________________________
"Inspiring Mantra: Go Further"
How the universe falls apart when you can't do Ashtanga.
I sometimes wonder whether I'm becoming reliant on this extraordinary practice to keep me happy and healthy (perhaps I've just replaced all my old crutches with new Ashtanga ones). This is how you start to think when for a while, you can't do those things that support and nourish you, those outer structures that we create and build our daily lives upon.
We usually cling to these crutches as a way of defining who we are; crutches come in the form of relationships, job positions, physical activities, mortgages, social circles, hobbies: those things we choose to engage in or with, that allow us to define our constructed Self, to make our personalities more concrete, to feed our sense of self importance and uniqueness.
Not quite so for a yogi.
When you become self realized and therefore God realized, everything changes. You suddenly can see that everyone and everything is God manifested in form. Each one of us is a beautiful and divine manifestation of the infinite and loving source. And in this realization your sense of self just dissolves, you become a nobodi. A nobodi who is WIDE AWAKE.
"The enlightened are in no way superior to the unenlightened, they are merely awake"
And the real work of a yogi has little to do with asana; the real work is to retain this enlightened awareness and realize when it's being lost in the midst of urban life. Your practice is to stay awake.
Ashtanga
The Ashtanga practice has a powerful effect on my inner life. It's an uplifting practice that can move the consciousness beyond the ego. Iyengar yoga is very grounding, but it keeps me on the ground, looking deeply inside and listening to my own trivial stories. I sometimes find it heavy and internal, like therapy. Ashtanga on the other hand seems to lift me above that; it allows me to dance through life on a breeze with a soft inner drishti and an open loving heart. Therapy no longer needed thanks.
"Practice and all is coming"
But when not doing regular Ashtanga I float back down to earth and join my fellow mortals in their daily struggles to just get by. Union with Divine Consciousness begins to elude me.
Enter the REAL YOGA PRACTICE:
"Yoga is the restriction (nirodha) of the fluctuations of the mind (citta)", (Patanjali, 1:4)
I can observe that silly voice immediately now when it starts whispering:
No Ashtanga for a week! aaaaarrrrggghhhhh
My body will weaken and I'll have to struggle for weeks to get back on track
I may lose the momentum for practicing
I might get LAZY and soft
I won't be fit to teach yoga if I'm not practicing daily
I may become self centred
I may become - oh my god - mediocre
My wellspring of love might dry up
And so the list goes on and on - all trivial self centred ego based thoughts caused by the fluctuations of the mind. Observing when we get caught up in these self centred, negative thoughts has to be followed by action to bring one's mind and heart back to it's true centre.
A specific meditation may be what's needed here to still the mind and refocus it to one's divine motivation. Not just watching the breath or a mandala or your bodily sensations, that's kindergarten preparation for concentrating and focusing on opening of the heart center, so that the all consuming loving presence that we really are can emerge and overwhelm and inspire all that we do.
Next week will be a new start (new moon tomorrow) and maybe there'll be another injury or trauma to test my equanimity, my loving acceptance of exactly what is happening right now.
"Through contentment (samtosha) unexcelled joy is gained"(Patanjali 2:42)
I think it was Erich Shiffmann who said "the feeling of stillness is peace, and the feeling of peace is joy" And Eckhart Tolle in his book 'Stillness Speaks' describes joy as
"VIBRANTLY ALIVE PEACE"
This is how it feels to be truly connected, in love with life, in love with oneself, in love with love, in love with God.
Minor Injuries
Lately I seem to have been plagued by one minor injury after another: broken toe, strained hip tendon and then a most annoying blister appeared on my right palm after a frenzied hour of gardening last Sunday. That was pretty funny actually because there was no way in hell that I could do Dog Pose and all because of a little blister, so again I missed almost a week of Ashtanga. When I finally psyched myself back to Mysore class last Thursday, it was quite comical as I had my hand bandaged to protect and cushion the blister. It looked like a real serious injury and I very humbly had to admit it was just a little blister. Half way through the sequence the bandage fell off (trying to get my bandaged hand through my lotus leg in Garbha Pindasana), and then the bandaid that was underneath started flapping around wildly until I finally threw caution to the wind, ripped it off and finished the practice palm naked.
Sweating
It ended up being a great session: the hottest, sweatiest practice I've ever done. Summer's just arrived and since I only started Ashtanga last Autumn I haven't experienced an Ashtanga summer. Shocked and bemused to see great POOLS of sweat. But wow, UNREAL slide throughs from Down Dog to Dandasana, reminiscent of the childlike thrill of sliding down a slippery dip. My mat metamorphosed into a super duper slippery dip. I just sort of slipped and slid through the practice with an oily ease. No push, just a gentle persistent engagement, fuelled by a slippery momentum and a happy happy body. Almost got Marichyasana D that morning - getting so close, it's getting exciting.
The only downside of the sweatpool on the mat was the fear of slipping when landing in the drop backs from Samasthitih to Urdhva Dhanurasana, so not wanting to invite another injury into my life, I waited for the teacher to come around and hold me for a few instructional slow drop backs instead. But it was exhale to lift, arch and dropback, inhale to rise, eight times without pausing - not slow at all. And so I'm blaming those dropbacks and the heat for forgetting to do Sirsasana (Headstand) that morning.
Next Mysore class will be Monday morning, and my old faithful orange surf towel will be accompanying me to practice. I look forward to feeling her softness as I sweat through another practice and emerge disheveled, crimson faced, exhausted and BEAMING!
Sigh - after a one week break it's like falling in love all over again.
Email contact: nobodhishome@yahoo.com.au
________________________________________________________________________
Friday evening 14th November 2003
Its a hot Friday evening. I should be cleaning up the house after a full week of 9-5 work, 6am Mysore classes, and teaching yoga 2 nights this week, but instead I'm just putting my feet up and finally creating the blog that I've been meaning to do for weeks (since okrgr pulled the plug on my weekly entertainment!). The mess can wait until I get home from surfing tomorrow afternoon, or maybe it can wait til Sunday.
I treat myself to a led Iyengar class 6-8am every Friday morning with my favourite teacher. He's one of our city's most senior teachers and his school is the only one in my city that is strictly authentic in its Iyengar method (most schools seem to mix styles with their different teachers bringing different flavours to the classes). It's a fairly small class on Friday mornings, usually between 5-10 people, and most of them are yoga teachers.
He usually starts the class with handstands (including free balancing) and elbow balances (Pinca Mayurasana). Great breakthrough this morning when I FINALLY jumped up into Handstand with both feet together - that's a milestone for me. Then he put us through a good 40 minutes of regular standing poses (including Ardha Chandrasana and Virabhadrasana 3), nothing fancy (last week we did Ardha Chandrasana 4 times on each side - it was fascinating to watch the mind reacting each time he said "and again..." eg. WHAT Another One?...WHAT Another One? You've gotta be joking!). After the standing poses, a 10 minute Sirsasana including a variation that I'm starting to enjoy where you bend the knees dropping the feet to the buttocks (knees stretch up to the ceiling) then twist the torso and hold - I don't know if it has an official name as I couldn't find it in Light On Yoga, maybe something like Parsva Virasana Sirsasana (????just made that up!!!). This class is soooooo nice to come back to each week since I took up a serious Ashtanga Vinyasa practice 6 months ago. It's like coming home. But I do have to quieten my Ujjiya breathing a bit simply out of respect for the teacher and the rest of the class. But my yoga just doesn't seem to have integrity if I'm not engaging a deep sonorous breath all the way from mula bandha. The Iyengis just don't know what they're missing!
After the headstand variations we did some backbending: Dhanurasana, Ustrasana dropping back to Kapotasana, 3 x Urdhva Dhanurasana then 3 x Viparitta Dandasana, then Eka Pada Raja Kapotasana (I'm still using a strap around the ankle but I can almost reach the foot to the head - well it feels like it anyway - maybe I'm really miles off - your judgement gets a little cloudy when you're in over your head). Then straight into Hanumanasana and just a twisting version of Janu Sirsasana without the forward bend. By that time we were all grateful for 10 minutes in Ardha Halasana over a chair and Paschimottanassana (head to bolster which we deserved).
Then as usual I had to pack up and leave before Savasana so I could enjoy a quick espresso and get to work by 9am.
Its usually quite a rigorous class (we've been working a lot lately on dropbacks from Tadasana to Urdhva Dhanurasana and Handstand Dropbacks last week) but the teacher has a quiet gentleness that seems to instill a stillness into the practice - that is a real inspiration for me as a budding teacher. I think its because he doesnt give out much information in this class - its more like his own practice that he shares with us - he doesnt need to tell us how to work in the poses as most of us are teachers and know the alignment aspects. Classes where the teacher is constantly talking take you away from your inner experience and your inner teacher. Your mind is always outside DOING, instead of inside BEING. This class for me is always rich in conscious awareness.
The odd thing is that when I teach my Level 1 classes and consciously try to limit the instructions I give them, the pauses don't seem to be filled with students feeling their way in and around the poses - I get the feeling that they're waiting for me to say something. Hmmmm, there's something I have to work on there.
Getting late now, not much of a first post considering the richness of my life at the moment.
My love affair with the Ashtanga practice has become an incredible journey. My regular meditation practice has suffered though as I get up at 5am every morning Monday to Friday to practice yoga and my evenings are taken up with various commitments including teaching. So my meditation right now is how I approach each moment and how I can facilitate that awesome loving presence that has created us to move and act and find expression through me.
"WE ARE THAT WHICH WE SEEK" is my constant reminder of this.
Have to pack the surfboards on the car tonight. Saturday at long last and I'm heading off with the gurls at 6.30am tomorrow and YEEHAH summer's here at last...36 degrees tomorrow...our first hot day. Fingers crossed that there'll be at least a small wave to play with so I cam immerse myself in the flow and bathe in the infinite... and hang out with my beautiful friends.
Email : nobodhishome@yahoo.com.au
___________________________________________________________________________
