Saturday 11th December 2004
6.30am teacher’s practice at the studio this morning, but it was only me and Kosta today; Rebecca’s holidaying in India for a few weeks and Sandy needed a sleep in.
I did a full strong Primary practice then felt like going on to some second series poses so after Urdhva Mukha Paschimottanasana (still can’t roll up with straight legs in this pose), I did the vinyasa up to Samastithi. Kosta followed me up through the vinyasa and back down to Pasasana but he rushed in and out of it and went straight to Setu Bandhasana. I bound well in Pasasana on both sides, so I did it twice and really wanted to go on to the next few poses which I haven’t done for a while, but felt that time was running out, so I followed Kosta into the backbends – did 3 good Urdhva Ds , then 3 confident dropbacks which came surprisingly easy today, but I’ve lost the memory of how to come up again – probably need the light touch of a teacher here just to give me the courage to try it again so my body can remember what to do. After dropbacks I went to the wall to play with Kapotasana again – both hands to both feet today. I couldn’t remember if the feet should be together with the shins forming a V shape or apart with the shins parallel – must look that one up tonight.
We finished up around 8.40am then went for a quick coffee – Kosta had to sub for Rebecca’s 9.30 class and I teach a regular Level 1 class at 10am.
I don’t usually talk about matters of the spirit in my Level 1 classes, but this morning I had the urge to tell them not to underestimate the power of hatha yoga to effect subtle changes in our lives because of our multi-dimensional makeup: what affects the physical also affects the mental/emotional and spiritual. I think this little outburst was spurred by Rebecca’s decision to introduce Pilates classes to the yoga studio in January. I feel a bit uneasy about this, but I guess she has to make money to keep the studio going, and has decided to cater to people who just want to stretch and tone up their abs. Perhaps it will give me the impetus to bring more of the deeper teachings of yoga into my classes to set them apart from the purely physical Pilates classes.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Thursday 8th December 2004
Stirring the Snake Pit
Yesterday and today: two vastly contrasting practices. Yesterday I think was the most powerful and deeply changing practice I’ve ever experienced. I wish I’d written notes straight after, but there wasn’t time before work, and the entire day was a busy one so I didn’t get the chance to reflect on it at all.
I remember a continuous deep engagement of bandhas all the way through. I remember my breath was plugged into every movement. My internal focus was so strong that it bound everything together into a unified force.
I practiced like this up to Navasana. If I’d gone further I’d have blown all my fuses – my body wasn’t tired and could easily have coped with the full practice, but the mental intensity had reached a boiling point by Navasana.
At the end of the cool down sequence I lay in Savasana and I remember feeling activity at the base of my spine, a strange stirring, ominous, yet exciting, like the quiet rumble of thunder just before a storm, when the air is charged with electricity. It wasn’t a physical sensation like when you’ve opened up the lumbar area, and it wasn’t nerve activity. This was definitely an unexpected kundalini stirring, my first glimpse, very subtle, very tantalising. Although it was only a fleeting stir, I can understand why it’s been traditionally described as a coiled snake… it’s sharp, poised, charged with energy and ready to strike. I could imagine a further stirring arousing this dormant primordial energy out of its dark cave at the base of the spine and unleashing it ike lightning through the body’s network of conductors. My lower back has always felt quite dull – maybe that’s why I love backbends, they sort of pierce into that dullness with the teasing promise of waking it up.
In contrast, today’s practice started ok but gradually went downhill and hit rock bottom at the end of the standing poses. My focus was weak and my breath shallow. It felt like the life force had seeped away through a surreptitious crack in my body. I thought I may be able to keep going by just softening my will, taking it easy, holding poses without working and bringing the attention more to my breath, but my mind was thick and dull. And out of nowhere, all the minor injuries I’ve had over the past years surfaced today; my right hamstring was tender, my left shoulder joint so sore that I could hardly raise my arm up, and even my big toe joint started aching today. They all emerged out of nowhere as the practice progressed. So after the standing poses, I did the first three forward bends, held them quietly then laid out on my back – time out.
Perhaps the intensity of yesterday’s practice depleted my vital energy. When I think back to the ensuing busy day at work, a brief shut down period was probably a natural consequence.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Thursday 2nd December 2004
Just do it
Not much to report on my practice today because a new person came along to the Gallery so I led him through the sequence up to Navasana, then put him to rest. He joined us again from Baddha Konasana but without doing the vinyasas. So my practice was more a teaching/watching session.
I brought the water bottle this morning and showed the others how to slide the arms through the legs to get into Garbha Pindasana – got a few laughs and had a bit of fun there. The new guy is a very quiet Japanese man from my Thursday night class who’d never encountered Ashtanga before. What must he have thought as we all sprayed our legs and arms with water and tried to get into this weird pretzel pose. And then to roll around on our backs, bound up in our self imposed straight jackets.
Having a person there who was new to Ashtanga made me very conscious of how the practice appears to be just a physical workout, a superficial Westernised interpretation of yoga. And it is taught as a physical practice too – no mention of kidney looping (!) chakra balancing, white light visualisations, no led Shavasana at the end to take you into la la land. You learn it pragmatically, like you learn a dance: put your foot here, look there, step up as you breathe in, fold over as you breathe out…not unlike an aerobics class, just performing the correct movements of the outer body.
And I must admit that over the years I’ve been quite critical of teachers for having taught yoga like this – no mention of the spiritual side of the yoga path.
Yet it’s because our physical, energetic, emotional, intellectual and spiritual layers are all interwoven and connected as one, that the effects of the physical practice act upon every other level like a ripple effect through our entire being. You just practice. Like that famous Nike slogan “Just do it”.And over time if one practices yoga regularly, one inevitably changes and more is revealed as we become ready.
Ashtanga teachers don’t seem to talk about the psycho/spiritual evolution that dedicated yogis experience which surprises me. And little is written about it, as if it’s a big, delicious secret that we all keep to ourselves.I wonder if more people would come to Ashtanga if they knew what the practice was really about, where it might take them. Perhaps not as they may not be partial to their comfy lives being re-routed.”Practice and all is coming” pretty well sums it up.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Wednesday 1st December 2004
Where are my toes?
I think today may have been the first time I’ve practiced alone in the Gallery. No-one turned up. The others tend to come more on Tuesdays and Thursdays except for Kosta, but he’s sick this week.
So having the practice space all to myself I must admit that I improvised a bit today and did a short practice (because of my period again!) – Surya Namaskars, just a few standing poses including Ardha Chandrasana, Virabhadrasana III and Vashisthasana, then I just wanted to do some decent backbends, so pushed up into a few Urdhva Ds and played with Kapotasana…got one hand touching one foot, but the left hand couldn’t find the left foot anywhere – it’s quite bizarre when that happens, it’s not a real familiar pose for me so I get a bit disorientated – my fingers wriggling around looking for my toes, and I know they gotta be there somewhere. My elbows don’t touch the floor yet, but today I had fun playing around in the pose.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Tuesday 30th November 2004
Holding Poses Extra Time
Again I didn’t make it to Simi’s Mysore class yesterday morning. I’m beginning to think I’ve got a subconscious resistance to it that I’m not acknowledging; perhaps it’s the pressure of having to do the sequence from beginning to end when I may not feel like it. I did notice in my practice this morning the joy and fulfillment I felt at the end for having done some longer, deeper exploration in some of the poses.
Renate and I practiced by the book up to Marichyasana D, then we both just sort of laid down and stopped. I guess we were both feeling the same. So we continued with a quieter practice, longer holdings and no vinyasas.
We skipped all the poses from Bhujangasana to Garbha Pindasana and restarted from Baddha Konasana then pretty much followed the pose sequence just holding each for as long as we wanted. This turns it into a very different practice for me and there’s a lot to be gained from working this way on occasions. Holding a pose for an extended time gives me the space to really feel what’s going on and exploring where I’m blocked. Inevitably after holding for a couple of minutes, I come up against a physical and emotional resistance and can observe my reaction which is usually a compelling desire to get out of the pose. This is a most interesting place to find yourself – right on that edge. Physically you may not be at your limit, you’re not pushing the body, not overstretching, but just holding a pose and breathing with it, when suddenly it starts to get overwhelming – a million physical sensations start to manifest that weren’t there a moment ago – the mind reacts and goes into overdrive speeding through a blur of images like a high speed runaway car, recklessly swerving to avoid obstacles.
What a trip this can turn into. And all from holding the body in a semi relaxed position.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Friday 25th November 2004
It’s 8am and already 31C. The next few days will be our first heatwave heading into summer. Boy I’d rather be surfing than working today.
It’s been a mixed week. I was too lethargic to get out of bed for the Monday morning Mysore class. Did the usual Tuesday morning Gallery practice and cancelled Wednesday so I could assuage my guilt by going to Mysore class on Wednesday morning instead. The alarm went off and I couldn’t get up again. Thursday in the Gallery I led the practice for a change, mainly to get the others moving a bit more consciously with their breath. You’d think that leading would detract from a self practice but for me, it tends to keep me more focused on what I’m doing. I keep a bit of an eye on the others, but not too much or else I’ll want to be getting off my mat and adjusting them all – not easy to resist that temptation. This morning I just helped Renate a bit in Pindasana so she could get the balance – a lot of poses are coming for her now – it’s been nice to watch her steadily making progress.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
6.30am teacher’s practice at the studio this morning, but it was only me and Kosta today; Rebecca’s holidaying in India for a few weeks and Sandy needed a sleep in.
I did a full strong Primary practice then felt like going on to some second series poses so after Urdhva Mukha Paschimottanasana (still can’t roll up with straight legs in this pose), I did the vinyasa up to Samastithi. Kosta followed me up through the vinyasa and back down to Pasasana but he rushed in and out of it and went straight to Setu Bandhasana. I bound well in Pasasana on both sides, so I did it twice and really wanted to go on to the next few poses which I haven’t done for a while, but felt that time was running out, so I followed Kosta into the backbends – did 3 good Urdhva Ds , then 3 confident dropbacks which came surprisingly easy today, but I’ve lost the memory of how to come up again – probably need the light touch of a teacher here just to give me the courage to try it again so my body can remember what to do. After dropbacks I went to the wall to play with Kapotasana again – both hands to both feet today. I couldn’t remember if the feet should be together with the shins forming a V shape or apart with the shins parallel – must look that one up tonight.
We finished up around 8.40am then went for a quick coffee – Kosta had to sub for Rebecca’s 9.30 class and I teach a regular Level 1 class at 10am.
I don’t usually talk about matters of the spirit in my Level 1 classes, but this morning I had the urge to tell them not to underestimate the power of hatha yoga to effect subtle changes in our lives because of our multi-dimensional makeup: what affects the physical also affects the mental/emotional and spiritual. I think this little outburst was spurred by Rebecca’s decision to introduce Pilates classes to the yoga studio in January. I feel a bit uneasy about this, but I guess she has to make money to keep the studio going, and has decided to cater to people who just want to stretch and tone up their abs. Perhaps it will give me the impetus to bring more of the deeper teachings of yoga into my classes to set them apart from the purely physical Pilates classes.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Thursday 8th December 2004
Stirring the Snake Pit
Yesterday and today: two vastly contrasting practices. Yesterday I think was the most powerful and deeply changing practice I’ve ever experienced. I wish I’d written notes straight after, but there wasn’t time before work, and the entire day was a busy one so I didn’t get the chance to reflect on it at all.
I remember a continuous deep engagement of bandhas all the way through. I remember my breath was plugged into every movement. My internal focus was so strong that it bound everything together into a unified force.
I practiced like this up to Navasana. If I’d gone further I’d have blown all my fuses – my body wasn’t tired and could easily have coped with the full practice, but the mental intensity had reached a boiling point by Navasana.
At the end of the cool down sequence I lay in Savasana and I remember feeling activity at the base of my spine, a strange stirring, ominous, yet exciting, like the quiet rumble of thunder just before a storm, when the air is charged with electricity. It wasn’t a physical sensation like when you’ve opened up the lumbar area, and it wasn’t nerve activity. This was definitely an unexpected kundalini stirring, my first glimpse, very subtle, very tantalising. Although it was only a fleeting stir, I can understand why it’s been traditionally described as a coiled snake… it’s sharp, poised, charged with energy and ready to strike. I could imagine a further stirring arousing this dormant primordial energy out of its dark cave at the base of the spine and unleashing it ike lightning through the body’s network of conductors. My lower back has always felt quite dull – maybe that’s why I love backbends, they sort of pierce into that dullness with the teasing promise of waking it up.
In contrast, today’s practice started ok but gradually went downhill and hit rock bottom at the end of the standing poses. My focus was weak and my breath shallow. It felt like the life force had seeped away through a surreptitious crack in my body. I thought I may be able to keep going by just softening my will, taking it easy, holding poses without working and bringing the attention more to my breath, but my mind was thick and dull. And out of nowhere, all the minor injuries I’ve had over the past years surfaced today; my right hamstring was tender, my left shoulder joint so sore that I could hardly raise my arm up, and even my big toe joint started aching today. They all emerged out of nowhere as the practice progressed. So after the standing poses, I did the first three forward bends, held them quietly then laid out on my back – time out.
Perhaps the intensity of yesterday’s practice depleted my vital energy. When I think back to the ensuing busy day at work, a brief shut down period was probably a natural consequence.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Thursday 2nd December 2004
Just do it
Not much to report on my practice today because a new person came along to the Gallery so I led him through the sequence up to Navasana, then put him to rest. He joined us again from Baddha Konasana but without doing the vinyasas. So my practice was more a teaching/watching session.
I brought the water bottle this morning and showed the others how to slide the arms through the legs to get into Garbha Pindasana – got a few laughs and had a bit of fun there. The new guy is a very quiet Japanese man from my Thursday night class who’d never encountered Ashtanga before. What must he have thought as we all sprayed our legs and arms with water and tried to get into this weird pretzel pose. And then to roll around on our backs, bound up in our self imposed straight jackets.
Having a person there who was new to Ashtanga made me very conscious of how the practice appears to be just a physical workout, a superficial Westernised interpretation of yoga. And it is taught as a physical practice too – no mention of kidney looping (!) chakra balancing, white light visualisations, no led Shavasana at the end to take you into la la land. You learn it pragmatically, like you learn a dance: put your foot here, look there, step up as you breathe in, fold over as you breathe out…not unlike an aerobics class, just performing the correct movements of the outer body.
And I must admit that over the years I’ve been quite critical of teachers for having taught yoga like this – no mention of the spiritual side of the yoga path.
Yet it’s because our physical, energetic, emotional, intellectual and spiritual layers are all interwoven and connected as one, that the effects of the physical practice act upon every other level like a ripple effect through our entire being. You just practice. Like that famous Nike slogan “Just do it”.And over time if one practices yoga regularly, one inevitably changes and more is revealed as we become ready.
Ashtanga teachers don’t seem to talk about the psycho/spiritual evolution that dedicated yogis experience which surprises me. And little is written about it, as if it’s a big, delicious secret that we all keep to ourselves.I wonder if more people would come to Ashtanga if they knew what the practice was really about, where it might take them. Perhaps not as they may not be partial to their comfy lives being re-routed.”Practice and all is coming” pretty well sums it up.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Wednesday 1st December 2004
Where are my toes?
I think today may have been the first time I’ve practiced alone in the Gallery. No-one turned up. The others tend to come more on Tuesdays and Thursdays except for Kosta, but he’s sick this week.
So having the practice space all to myself I must admit that I improvised a bit today and did a short practice (because of my period again!) – Surya Namaskars, just a few standing poses including Ardha Chandrasana, Virabhadrasana III and Vashisthasana, then I just wanted to do some decent backbends, so pushed up into a few Urdhva Ds and played with Kapotasana…got one hand touching one foot, but the left hand couldn’t find the left foot anywhere – it’s quite bizarre when that happens, it’s not a real familiar pose for me so I get a bit disorientated – my fingers wriggling around looking for my toes, and I know they gotta be there somewhere. My elbows don’t touch the floor yet, but today I had fun playing around in the pose.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Tuesday 30th November 2004
Holding Poses Extra Time
Again I didn’t make it to Simi’s Mysore class yesterday morning. I’m beginning to think I’ve got a subconscious resistance to it that I’m not acknowledging; perhaps it’s the pressure of having to do the sequence from beginning to end when I may not feel like it. I did notice in my practice this morning the joy and fulfillment I felt at the end for having done some longer, deeper exploration in some of the poses.
Renate and I practiced by the book up to Marichyasana D, then we both just sort of laid down and stopped. I guess we were both feeling the same. So we continued with a quieter practice, longer holdings and no vinyasas.
We skipped all the poses from Bhujangasana to Garbha Pindasana and restarted from Baddha Konasana then pretty much followed the pose sequence just holding each for as long as we wanted. This turns it into a very different practice for me and there’s a lot to be gained from working this way on occasions. Holding a pose for an extended time gives me the space to really feel what’s going on and exploring where I’m blocked. Inevitably after holding for a couple of minutes, I come up against a physical and emotional resistance and can observe my reaction which is usually a compelling desire to get out of the pose. This is a most interesting place to find yourself – right on that edge. Physically you may not be at your limit, you’re not pushing the body, not overstretching, but just holding a pose and breathing with it, when suddenly it starts to get overwhelming – a million physical sensations start to manifest that weren’t there a moment ago – the mind reacts and goes into overdrive speeding through a blur of images like a high speed runaway car, recklessly swerving to avoid obstacles.
What a trip this can turn into. And all from holding the body in a semi relaxed position.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Friday 25th November 2004
It’s 8am and already 31C. The next few days will be our first heatwave heading into summer. Boy I’d rather be surfing than working today.
It’s been a mixed week. I was too lethargic to get out of bed for the Monday morning Mysore class. Did the usual Tuesday morning Gallery practice and cancelled Wednesday so I could assuage my guilt by going to Mysore class on Wednesday morning instead. The alarm went off and I couldn’t get up again. Thursday in the Gallery I led the practice for a change, mainly to get the others moving a bit more consciously with their breath. You’d think that leading would detract from a self practice but for me, it tends to keep me more focused on what I’m doing. I keep a bit of an eye on the others, but not too much or else I’ll want to be getting off my mat and adjusting them all – not easy to resist that temptation. This morning I just helped Renate a bit in Pindasana so she could get the balance – a lot of poses are coming for her now – it’s been nice to watch her steadily making progress.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
